ChrisMichael  ‘The Count’ Bisping is a very lovely man: a loyal husband, a proud father and, as Maxim discovered, a right good laugh down the pub. He’s also a devastating UFC fighter, a 6ft Lancashire goliath who can beat the most talented opponent into a bloodied pulp. As he prepares to take on Chris Leben in his headlining bout at UFC 89, we quizzed him on the different types of violence. From his explosive UFC fights, to petty pub dust-ups, to teenage girls tearing each other to shreds, he had a story for each of them...

UFC BLOODBATH

‘Some guys are too tough for their own good, they’ll take a fucking beating – like my fight against Elvis Sinosic in Manchester last year. I’d pounded the hell out of the guy for five minutes straight and he literally was a bloody mess at the end of the round. He couldn’t even get up and go to his corner when the bell sounded.  The Octagon was covered in blood and his corner had to tend to him on the floor. But the guy got up and nearly finished me in the second round. He dropped me with the knee and nearly submitted me. I won straight after though!’

PLAYGROUND SCRAP

‘Me and footballers never really got on. I hated their fucking gelled hair and I wanted to beat most of them up. When we picked sides at primary school, I was always stood there at the end with the handicapped kid, and they’d pick him over me! When I was nine, I ended up going up to this right cock and headbutting him. Around this time I thought to myself,  “Maybe football’s not the sport for me.”’

THE PUB THUG

‘I was nearly in a pub fight a few years ago. I’d just finished DJ-ing and went over the road for a beer. This guy was staring at me and I sensed there was going to be trouble. He walks over and says, “Alright,”  but goes to shake hands with his wrong hand, so he could hit me with the other one. I said,  “What you doing?”  and he goes to headbutt me, I moved out the way and he ends up on the floor, piss-wet through. I told his mate,  “I’m leaving.  You can tell that bastard he’s bloody lucky.”’

GIRL ON GIRL

‘I remember I saw a belting fight at school, it was fucking amazing. Both of them had hold of each other’s hair, smacking each other’s faces into bins, fingernails deep into cheeks, blood everywhere! Women can be nasty. They’ll kick you in the shins and all sorts.  You ever been kicked in the shins? Hurts like hell!’

WEEKLY BLOG - Mike Bisping vs Chris Leben

On 18th October Mike Bisping fights Chris ' The Crippler' Leben at UFC 89 in Birmingham. In the build up to what could be his most toughest fight he'll be keeping a weekly blog about what's on his mind on the Men's Fitness site

Watch the exclusive full length pre-fight trialer here and read Michael Bispings Wweekly blog at Men's Fitness here