Chat-Up Lines That Work! Plus Some That Don't

Hi, I’m a decent bloke who thinks you’re gorgeous. Someone said you were looking for me?

I know women usually go for bastards, but do you fancy a drink, anyway? Have I seen you before? Sorry – I’m thinking of the model on that make-up advert.

Do you fancy a dance? (Girl says ‘no’) I suppose a shag’s out of the question, then?

We’ve only just met, but can I say, ‘I’m in love with your bum.’

You’re so pretty, I had to come over and say ‘hi’.

You have an amazing smile.

Are you Jamaican? Cos jer-makin’ me crazy, man.

I bet you £10 you’ll turn me down…

It’s nice to meet a woman who’s beautiful and intelligent.

Hi, do you have a boyfriend? No? Are you taking applications?

I don’t normally approach girls like this…

I don’t want you to think I’m ridiculous or anything, but you are the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.

Would you like to dance?

I just wanted to give you the pleasure of turning me down. Go ahead – say ‘no’.

Can I buy you a drink?

What would you do if I kissed you right now?

You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book. So what’s one more?

That’s quite a nice little nothing you’re almost wearing. I approve…

Sorry to interrupt, but I had to just tell you that you’re lovely.

(Break an ice cube with your teeth) Now I’ve broken the ice, can I buy you a drink?

I know Jedi mind tricks. Go home with me tonight, you will.

Chat-up lines that don't work

And what not to say – unless you want to have so little sex you penis will become fossilised…

Do you know what’d look amazing on you? A load of my jizz.

That dress looks shit – I think you should take it off immediately.

Here’s 20p to call your mum – tell her I’m kidnapping you.

I have only three months to live…

You’ve got a huge arse – you’re lucky I’m in love with J-Lo!

Are you new around here? I’ve had sex with most of the girls in here so it’s nice to see new talent.

Good news - the test results are negative!

If you were my daughter, I wouldn’t let you leave the house.

Do you believe in love at first sight? I don’t, so let’s be realistic…

Do you mind if I stand here until it’s safe to go back to where I farted?

As long as there’s my face, there’ll always be a place for you to sit.

That dress looks great on you, but it’d look a lot better on my bedroom floor.

Your tits are like a pair of chicken fillets – but don’t worry, love. I feel like chicken tonight.

I think my medication is wearing off.

Do you believe in helping the homeless? Then take me home with you.

Did it hurt when you fell down from heaven?

Hi, I heard women go for bastards? Well, I never knew who my father was.

You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!

Hi, I’m not trying to pressure you. I don’t want to have sex without mutual consent. By the way, you have my consent.

The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.

Hi – your face or mine?

I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.