Girls' Bedroom Secrets

Talking Dirty!

What are your experiences of talking dirty in bed?

	It’s good when you tell him what you’d like to do to him… training him like a puppy! Von

Von: I’ve had some bad ones, where the blokes don’t say anything at all – that made me feel a bit uncomfortable. There needs to be a bit of banter between you!
Cara: In my experience, blokes have never talked dirty in bed – and neither have I – I’d be too embarrassed! I do say the odd swearword, though, if it’s really good. And I’m not quiet; I’m always making noises!

Some guys really love talking dirty, though, don’t they?
V: Some of them do, definitely. One boy I was seeing was giving me all this dirty talk, saying, ‘I want to do this, and stick it here, there and everywhere…’ and that felt quite naughty, so I liked it. But then he said he wanted another guy to watch him having sex – and that he really wanted the guy to join in. He later confessed that he regularly had sex with his best mate watching, and how he liked ‘crossing swords’ and stuff…

So, in some cases, the less said the better?
C: Absolutely. I had a one-night stand with this one guy, and his idea of talking dirty was telling me all this weird stuff he wanted to do to me. I was just thinking, ‘You big freak!’ It wasn’t in the least bit sexy.
V: I’ve had a bloke like that as well! There was this one guy who kept telling me he really liked to suck girls’ toes during sex! I was like, ‘Oh, really?’ Then he suddenly started sucking my toes – I didn’t enjoy it at all.

Why not? Didn’t it make you feel saucy?
V: No! I’ve honestly never done anything like that in my life.
C: Well, my experience was with this guy who really loved the idea of talking dirty. He was quite big as well, as he was a bodybuilder.

Talking to each other when you have sex can be great for trying new things, though, can’t it?
C: My boyfriend always tells me if he wants me to change positions. He says things like ‘Let’s do this’ or ‘Lets try this’, and as I feel comfortable with him, I would probably do anything!
V: It can be great if you want to get on to talking about fantasies, or trying out something that you aren’t used to doing.
C: I think it’s also good for occasions like a one-night stand, or when you’ve fancied a guy for a while and it’s the first time you have sex with him. You need to break down the barriers, and doing a bit of dirty talk straight away can be a good way to get comfy with each other.

Some blokes can be a bit shy about talking in bed – what would you say to them?
C: Talking dirty is definitely much easier if you have been out drinking!
V: I couldn’t agree more!

Have you ever said something you regretted?
V: When you’re first getting started, you say something and then think, ‘Oh, that sounds embarrassing.’ I sometimes find sex talk quite awkward anyway, unless I’m drunk. I don’t talk too dirty, as I know it will just make me laugh.

Do you think blokes should do more dirty talk in bed?
C: If it means better sex, then definitely… that said, although I’m open to a few things, I’m not into anything disgusting or ‘wrong’!
V: Yes. So long as it’s not something like ‘Yeah, right on – ride it, cowgirl!’, or any other line lifted from a bad porno! It’s always good when you tell him what you’d like to do to him – and what you want him to do to you. It’s the whole thing of teaching and training him like a puppy!