Miss Maxim UK

Louise Cliffe

So she went to the Dominican Republic to do this shoot – and duke it out for the title of Miss Maxim Worldwide…

HELLO, LOUISE. How did this all happen?

So quickly! Up to last year I was a secretary at a distribution company; now I’m your Miss Maxim! And if I win the international vote, I could be living in New York next year…

Why do you think you won Miss Maxim UK?

Because I’m sexy! No, I think it’s a fluke. The day I did my audition tape I was dead rough. I’d been out the night before and had a lot to drink, then I got up at 5am without even changing my make-up. I looked like a right dog! I can’t believe I won it!

What did you do the night before?

It was Miss Manchester. I won that too! That’s why I got pissed.

Do you win everything you enter?

These are the only things! My mates had to twist my arm to enter – because I’m not dead shy, but I need a bit more confidence – and winning this has given me loads! Now I want to do catwalk modelling or Victoria’s Secret.

What did you think of the shoot?

The resort was beautiful, like something you dream of. I never thought in a million years that I’d go somewhere like that. I usually do package holidays to Spain.

What was your best shot?

The one in the spa, on the massage table, with water running down over me. I loved that because it was topless and I felt sexy, and I had the ‘Miss Maxim UK’ sash across my bum for the filming. I love representing Britain!

Do you like going topless?

I don’t mind because people say I’ve got good boobs. The Americans on the shoot said they’re fabulous and they’ve never seen anything like it.

Weren’t they just trying to get into your pants?

No, it was women saying this! I’m not a lesbian!

What did you think of the competition?

The nicest girls were Miss Switzerland and Miss Mexico, but I think I’d vote for the Czech girl. She’s got an amazing body – dead tall, with long brown hair. They were all beautiful and walking round topless for their shoots. It’s nice being surrounded by beautiful girls!

What will you do if you win the 0,000 contract?

I’d faint. I want to win it so bad. I’d pack my bags straight away. I had such fun on the shoot; even the Americans were saying they want me to win – not their own girl! So I’d love to move to New York and work with them. But I’m just grateful to get the chance to go to such a beautiful place and get great pictures.

Were you always this popular?

I wasn’t popular at school. Only with the boys. I grew boobs out of nowhere when I was 17; everyone thought I’d had a boob job. And then I got my curves…

How do they go down with your boyfriends?

I’ve not had a lot of boyfriends. I’ve got one now. I thought I’d miss him on the Dominican Republic shoot, but I didn’t; I was having such a good time. I could have stayed out there a year.

So you haven’t got a high sex drive, then?

No, I have, very!

What turns you on?

I like the smell of men. And men dressed up as Smurfs.

No, you don’t.

I do, seriously! I met my boyfriend at a fancy-dress party, and he was dressed as a Smurf, blue from head to toe, and he looked gorgeous. I haven’t got him to dress like that in bed, but one day I will. People will think I’m a freak now, won’t they?