Immigration is bloody brilliant! Without hard-working pert-breasted economic migrants flooding over our unprotected borders, who would do our unpleasant jobs, like modelling? Just try to imagine a Britain without sexy refugees like the delightful Claudia. Go on. It's rubbish isn't it? Claudia is from Romania! Where the werewolves come from! Seduce her quickly!

Hi, Claudia. How long have you been in the UK?

Almost six years - I act quite British now!

Oh? How's that?

Drinking far to much in pubs!

That's one of our oldest and finest traditions. What doi you do here?

I'm a trance DJ.

Do you DJ to meet men?

No - because I love the music.

What's best about the UK?

The nightlife! And the morning life! And the after-party life!

How about British guys?

They're funny, sophisticated and like a drink. Much more than Romanian guys!

Do you like crackling?

What is this?

It's like the fried, crispy, hairy, fatty bit of pork?

Oh yeah, I Love that! That is traditional in Romania!

So we stole it from you?