You may be just a lump of plastic with an annoyingly shrill beep, but being an alarm clock isn't all bad. For a start, you get to see your lovely owner in the nod each and every morning.

You get to admire her long, bare legs as they stretch to face the day. You get to see her titties bobble as she lets out a big yawn. And then you get smashed when your excited beeps hit overdrive. Oh dear.