I think a mountain goat would beat me uphill, but I could probably beat it down again.

We followed Natasha Hamilton, sex (Atomic) Kitten extraordinaire, to an abandoned mansion and spent several days embedded in the walls while we watched her get undressed.

After several days it turned out she knew we were there all along. Embarrassed, we stepped out and had a polite conversation about boob jobs, monkeys and celebrity cannibalism.

What have you been up to recently?

I've just been in the studio recording my album. It's going really well.

What kind of stuff is it?

Like funky, soul kind of stuff. It's mostly my own stuff but there are a couple of covers. It's hard when you're doing gigs and people don't know the songs.

What's next? Acting? Presenting?

Definitely sticking with the music at the moment. That's where my heart lies; I've sung for years and I love it.

How was the shoot?

It went really well... I got there and it was just this big, derelict house... it was quite an 'artistic' shoot.

What was it like trying to squat sexily on a load of rubble?

Well, it wasn't the most glamorous shoot I've ever done... my high heels were sinking into the rubble, there were nails poking out of the floor - by the end of the shoot there was an inch of dust over my whole body.

Really sexy, then?

Yeah... well, some people like it to be dirty, don't they?

It looked like you were waiting to be rescued... what situation have you most wanted to be rescued from?

One time, after a gig in South Africa, there was this party. There were all these people that must've blagged their way in, because there were about five hundred people in the room and we were literally being backed into the corner. It was like something from a scary film, like at any minute they were going to turn into zombies and attack us. They were getting dead close and in the end, me and the girls were just huddled in the corner - it was really claustrophobic and quite scary.

Didn't you have a minder?

We did, but he'd gone off! When he came back he saw us huddled in the corner, literally backs against the wall, and he dragged us out.

Were you looking around for a weapon?

I had my pen at the ready, like, 'don't come any closer!'

What did you think of your bandmate's appearance on Celebrity Love Island?

She did really well. I was made up for her, she came across really well and she's got a lot of confidence from it.

Who would you like to be on that island with?

George Clooney and Johnny Depp. Both of them. Just the three of us...

Who would you really not want to be there with?

Who's really dull and boring, or annoying...? Uri Geller! He's a bit weird, and he'd talk about Michael Jackson far too much. And when we ran out of spoons he might go crazy and start doing funny shit.

What celebrity-based reality TV shows have you been asked to do (and we imagine, turned down)?

I've been asked to do a programme where me and other celebrities go up the Andes and - do you know the film, 'Alive'?

Is this going to be 'Celebrity Cannibals Uncovered'?

I hope not! But basically it's the anniversary of when the plane crashed and these TV producers want to take people up and show them where it happened and do a documentary about survival and the human spirit, so it looks like I'm doing a trek up the Andes. I'm scared of heights, though...

Who else is doing that? There hasn't been a confirmed line-up yet. Q: What do you think you'd be like in a survival situation?

I think I'd be quite good. There's nothing worse than having some soppy cow who's screaming hysterically and stressing everyone out; I'd just get my head down and say, 'Right, this is what we've got to do... and you're first to be eaten if it all goes horribly wrong.'

So would you be first in line with the knife and fork?

Ohhhh... if I was really, really hungry then, you know, whatever, to survive. What would an atomic kitten actually look like? A: It'd be quite messed up, wouldn't it? And quite scary.

What do you think about atomic radiation causing mutation in animals?

What do I think about it? God, that's a bit heavy, isn't it? Um, 'It's bad.'

Atomic Kittens sound both deadly and exciting - what else do you find deadly and exciting, apart from eating people in plane crashes?

I'm going to Ibiza for the end-of-season party - which should be deadly and exciting.

Do you think you could outrun a wolf?

Could I outrun a wolf?! No... I don't think I could...

Or any other mountainous animal? What about a mountain goat?

I think a mountain goat would beat me uphill, but I could probably beat it down again.

Could you outrun a monkey?

Monkeys don't run!

So that's a yes, then. We're doing a feature on monkeys and whether or not they're evil. Where do you stand on that debate?

Evil monkeys... well, my sister took my son to the zoo and you know those monkeys that have their bums hanging out? Josh said, 'Auntie Georgina, the monkey has a sore bum, we need to put some cream on it' and everyone started laughing. He's only two.

The musical phenomenon of the year has been Crazy Frog. Have you thought about doing something like that?

Not at all. I mean, it's really, really annoying. I'd really hate to be stuck on that island with the guy who created crazy frog. Just someone who's just making up annoying tunes. I couldn't bear it.

What's your ringtone?

At the moment it's a sort of Turkish belly-dancing tune.

Why?

It's just easy on the ear. There's nothing worse than that Nokia, 'diddle-ee-dee, diddle-ee-dee, diddle-eeee.'

Why did you decide to get a boob job?

When I was pregnant, my boobs went to a double E and they were huge, but then they went down to an A and I thought, 'Right, I've had a taste of big boobs now.' I always wanted them anyway, but that confirmed it. I started as a B... But I've had it done and it's the best money I've ever spent.

What size are they now?

They're a C. Cheeky.

Is there such a thing as too big?

Yeah, but it's down to personal preference. Some like them small, some like them big, and some like them rrrreally big.

How big would yours have to be before you'd consider a reduction?

I think when I start walking like The Penguin from Batman, all hunched over.

Nice. What did you dream about last night?

I didn't have a dream last night. I normally dream every night, but I didn't last night.

Last night we dreamed a small panda was trying to steal our blanket. What's the strangest dream you've ever had?

I have a lot of recurring dreams. I dream about being in a plane that's crashing.

Is that why you're doing the documentary?

No, it's not, actually. I don't know why I get them. It just scares the hell out of me, being in a plane. But it's weird because everything around me is in chaos, and I'm just there...

Getting your knife and fork out?

No! Just really serene and peaceful, and then it doesn't crash and I end up walking off the plane. It's not the same every time, either, it's a different scene each time.

What else do you dream about?

I dream about food a lot. Like a full English breakfast. I always wake up when I've had this dream and I have to make one.

So what do you think it says about you that you always dream of plane crashes and food?

It says that we wouldn't want to be sitting next to you on a plane. Ever.