I was 16 when I first played a stripper

Ever since her nude scene in The Wedding Crashers, we’ve been a bit obsessed with Diora Baird. It’s not just the way the 23-year old Florida native looks (and she looks like a smoking hot 32DD goddess), but the endlessly suggestive list of film titles on her CV – Love Shack, Pornstar, Young People Fucking, Hot Tamale, First Kiss and, ahem, South Of Heaven (what else could it mean?). Our minds have been running riot imagining what it must be like to spend time with this girl. As it turns out, the answer is: very, very fun…

See Diora Baird Video Clips!

How’s things, Diora?

Good! I’ve just got back from shooting a film in Canada, called Stan Helsing – a spoof of monster films like A Nightmare On Elm Street and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I’m the strait-laced one in this, which is surprising, because I’m usually the stripper. My character’s name is Nadine, which is the weirdest name ever.

But… your name is Diora.

Yeah, OK, that’s weird as well, haha!

If you could be any monster, which one would you be?

An invisible one. That would be the scariest shit ever! I’m playing a demon in my next movie, called Night Of The Demons, a re-make of an 80s horror movie. I get to walk on ceilings and eat people’s faces off. So that’ll be fun!

Looking forward to the hours in make-up?

Ugh… I’ve already had all the moulds made for the prosthetics. They had to take moulds of everything… my boobs, my butt, my face, my teeth: they made me a tail and horns and scales. It’s not going to be very comfortable.

But when it’s on, you can hide under tables and scare the crap out of people…

Haha, yeah – exactly! I’ll come back to the hotel in my costume and freak people out.

You got gored to death in Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning. How was that?

Terrifying! I was scared the whole time. The guy who played Leatherface is a freak – he was chasing me with an actual chainsaw. I was like, ‘Oh shit. He’s going to hurt me…’

You’re in a film coming out called Pornstar. What can you tell us about it?

It’s like a female version of Boogie Nights. I play a character called Odessa. You see her downward spiral and what it’s really like to be inside the porn industry. It leaves you feeling quite sick afterwards.

Does it end on a similar shot?

A:No… no prosthetic penises for me.

You’re in the new Star Trek re-boot, playing a role described only as ‘Green Girl’. Does this involve silver bikinis and body paint?

Plenty of body paint. No silver bikini though. I can’t say anything about the film – it was the most secretive shoot ever. I’d get covered in a black cloak and hood, bundled into a golf cart with blacked-out windows and driven to the set from my trailer so no one could take pictures. I was like, ‘This sucks!’

You’ve said in the past that you give a good lapdance. Is that true?

I haven’t done it in a while because I haven’t played a stripper in a while. But it got to the point where the director would say, ‘Okay, we need you to do this lapdance…’ and I’d be like, ‘Yeah, yeah, I know how to do it!’ I was about 16 when I first played a stripper. I had to dance on a pole and had no idea what I was doing.

You’ve also said that you almost got a breast reduction. How come?

I started out in modelling and fashion models don’t really have big chests – it makes it hard to fit into a size zero. I was set up with an appointment to have a breast reduction and I thought, ‘I don’t want to do it for this reason. I don’t even want to be a model. I want to be an actress.’ Then a few months later I got the Gap campaign and they were like, ‘It’s so nice to meet a real woman and not a stick figure!’

Is it true you used to be Dee-Dee the clown?

Yeah… I used to dress up at kids’ parties and do balloon animals and magic tricks. But it got a bit degrading dressing up as Elmo.

Did you name the clown after your boobs?

Hahaha! No! That’s the nickname my family members call me.

Have we just ruined that nickname for you?