Two buddies, Arthur and Steve, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Arthur throws up all over himself. "Oh, no," he cries. "Judy will kill me!"
Steve says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and tell her that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry-cleaning bill."
So they stay for another couple of hours and get even more drunk. Eventually Arthur rolls home and Judy screams, "You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!"
"I can enslaving everythin! says Arthur, "Ish not what you think. I only had a cupla drinks. But thish other guy got sick on me... he had one too many and he jush couldn't hold hizz liquor. He said he was verrry sorry an' gave me twennie bucks for the cleaning bill!"
Judy looks in the breast pocket and says, "But this is forty dollars."
"Oh, yeah, I almos' forgot," says Arthur. "He shat in my pants, too."