The Kooks play Brixton Academy as part of their UK tour. Loads of girls like The Kooks, so it’s a good place to pull. Well, if you’re one of The Kooks, that is.

Click here for tickets and availability 

Iron Man is released at cinemas. Watch Robert Downey Jr fly around in a metal suit and Gwyneth Paltrow make herself disappear by turning side-on.

Watch the trailer here 

Final day of the Premiership! Who’ll win the league? Who’ll go down? What the hell are we going to do all summer?

Full fixture list here 

It’s National Condom Week. They’re those slimey balloons you put on your head at parties. They stop STDs too – though not when worn on your head.

Find out more here 

Judy Finnigan will probably be getting a right old shafting from Richard today. Why? It’s her 60th birthday! Urgggh.

Celebrate with Judy's finest TV moment - TV Awards wardrobe malfuntion 

The FA Cup final! Since it’s practically two pub teams competing this year, expect the score to be 24-8 with at least 10 players sent off for mooning the ref.

Watch our 'Greatest Cup Upsets' videos

FA Cup round-up and news  

It’s the Champions League Final! Built up to be the most exciting game ever, but more likely to be 22 millionaires ekeing out a boring 0-0 draw AET.

Champions League stats and round-up 

Monaco Grand Prix. It takes place in the city centre, just outside Dixons. If you get bored, you can turn round and watch Hollyoaks through the window.

 
F1 latest here 

Rapid-fire comic Tim Vine is in glamorous Worthing tonight as part of his huge UK ‘Punslinger’ tour. Pun for all the family! OK, we’ll leave the gags to him.

Tickets for Tim Vine's Punslinger tour

Warning! The new series of Big Brother starts tonight. Vow not to watch it, then get inexplicably sucked in, making you hate yourself for the entire summer!

Big Brother official Site