Natalie Oxley's First Time Sex Nightmares

Virgin On The Ridiculous

	He screamed 'Bill, you c**! You're f**king my mum!'

We asked readers and people in the street about how they lost their virginity! And then recruited lovely Natalie Oxley to help illustrate those stories. Then we had a bath!

Her son watched me!

I was 15, and me, my mate and his bird were all out one day when we bumped into a fit woman who knew my mate's girlfriend. She asked her if we could babysit for her at short notice, as she was going out.

All three of us went round to her house, and it just happened that I knew the boy we were babysitting - he was at my school, a few years below me. When he went to bed, me, my mate and his bird got drunk.

Later on, the woman came home, pissed out of her head. We started talking, so I stayed while my mate walked his bird home. After they'd left the woman got up as if to go to bed - but at the door she turned and asked 'Are you coming...?'

We ran up to her room and went straight at it. I pulled out and was just about to come when her son walked in to see me spurting all over his mum.

He screamed 'Bill, you cunt! You're fucking my mum!' Then he ran to his room and locked the door. While his mum went to console him I got dressed and legged it. He never spoke to me again!

Gingers go for it

I had a mate who was 16 and babysitting for his auntie. He got all his mates round and they all got pissed - and after a while he had to crash out as he was absolutely hammered. His mates got scared and dragged him into a bedroom, ditched him and fled.

He later awoke in the middle of the night to see his aunt sitting on the side of the bed he'd been sleeping on, starting to undo her bra. He leaped up, but she threw him back down on the bed, pulled down his trousers and set to it (grisly, given they were both very skinny and ginger!).

P.S. His name was Mark, he's from Solihull, he's a cunt, so please feel free to print it.