Don't tell our girlfriend of course, she's brunette and she has a fiery temper. It probably won't take her long to figure it out though when we look over her shoulder or at the floor when we are talking to her, then buy her some bleach and wrap it nicely and leave it on her bedside table with a note reading:
"IF YOU EVER WANT ME TO LOOK AT YOU IN THE EYE AGAIN THEN RUB THIS MUCK IN YOUR HAIR AND BECOME LIKE STACEY HANNANT - BLONDE AND BOMBSHELL-LIKE!"
Come on, is that progressive boyfriending or what?
Probably not? Pffffft. HAHAHA!
If she looks just one smidgen more like Stacey Hannant, our new favourite model, then we will automatically be nicer to her. Thus, it'll be better for us and will probably be better for her, too.
MEN AND BLONDE WOMEN FUCKING RULE!!!!
[Phone rings]
Maxim: "Oh, hi babe, I was just thinking about you"
Maxim's girlfriend: "I'll be home late tonight, I'm going out to get tanked up with the girls"
Maxim: "But... but I thought we were staying in and watching Woody Allen movies?"
Maxim's girlfriend: "Look, stop your whining and make sure you put me a dinner back. And you can sleep on the sofa too, I might bring someone back with me"
Maxim: "Sorry. Okay darling, have a great time. I love you."
Maxim's girlfriend: "......"
Maxim: "See you later then
Maxim's girlfriend: "....."
Maxim: "Hello?"
Maxim's girlfriend: "Bye" [Hangs up]
Maxim: "......." [Hangs up]
Er, what were we saying?
MORE GIRLS
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