It's difficult to interview someone as hot as Jessica. We tried and it didn't work very well...
Maxim: [Walks into studio to conduct interview, sits down] "Hi Jessica. Are you ready to do the interview?"
Jessica: [Quite naked, sat in chair] "Hello Maxim. Yes, go ahead. I'm ready for you."
Maxim: Excellent. [Gets out notebook, removes coat] "Is it warm in here or is it me?"
Jessica: [Stares firmly into Maxim's eyes]
Maxim: "My brow is f***ing drenched..."
Jessica: [Keeps staring firmly into Maxim's eyes]
Maxim: [To photographer] "You don't have a tissue do you, James?"
The Earl of Rudland: [Wiping ice cube on head, dressed only in very small shorts, can hardly breathe] "Nah, sorry man."
Maxim: [Takes top off, sweat pouring off brow, needs drink] "Okay, er, yeah, the interview..."
Jessica: [Firm tone of voice] "Yes Maxim, I said I'm ready for you..."
Maxim: [Chucking bottle of luke-warm water over head] "Er, yeah, so what part of..." [bottle is finished, look of mild panic on face] "...er, what part of the shoot did you..." [looks around studio hurriedly] "hang on... James, is there a cold tap anywhere? James? JAMES!!!"
The Earl of Rudland: [Passed out on floor, having mild palpitations]
Jessica: "I called him a medic about 20 minutes ago. He's lost half a stone already."
Maxim: "I.. need... some... a..i...r"
Jessica: [Crosses legs, firm tone] "Go get some, we'll do the interview on the phone later" [Scooches Maxim away with her hand]
Maxim: [Rushes out of studio in pants, banging into onrushing paramedics on the way out, opens door and breeeeeeaaaaaaathe]
AND REPEAT.
Course, we made that all up, but trust us when we say that Jessica is indeed hot, hot stuff.
If you want to hear what Jessica actually has to say then we'll have to phone her up for you.
Let us know on chaps@maxim.co.uk or leave a comment.
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