Amy

Cucumber Pipsqueaks, Johnny Flappypissypants and the ElectroHonk Hammerspank Weekender…

	All I did was stare at pictures of the amazing Scouse Amy and then I felt a sharp exit of all rationality rhythmically flow out of my brain and into my groin

Doc: What seems to be the problem?

Uncle B: My neurons have been bashed around to the extent I can no longer write headlines that make any discernible sense. Not only do they not make sense, they rarely relate to any content on the page and would probably only be useful in describing a silly 70s festival where people wear mad velvet top hats and spangly clogs.

Doc: Have you been mixing class A narcotics, mind-bending amounts of alcohol and reading choose-your-own-adventure novels from front to back again?

Uncle B: No, doctor. All I did was stare at pictures of the amazing Scouse Amy and then I felt a sharp exit of all rationality rhythmically flow out of my brain and into my groin. It happened immediately and felt rather good.

Doc: I see.

Uncle B: I don’t think I really need to tell you what happened after that…

Doc: [Awkward silence]

Uncle B: No, not that. I’m talking about my journalistic brain almost instantly capitulating and rapidly morphing into a broken pile of monkey turd to the point where I write headlines like the one above and expect an audience of hundreds of thousands of boob-hungry readers just to accept it as “the done thing” and not bat a donkey's eyelid...

Doc: Will your hoardes of readers not forgive you for discovering such a talent as Amy in the first place though? Surely they should once they see these pics? Surely they will want to know where you found her, how you unearthed her and where they can see more of her? Your pithy and rather inconsequential illogical headline probably won’t make a smidgen of difference when it comes to them. Really they should be thanking you and not analysing your wayward semantics. I suggest you stop beating yourself up and begin to believe that you really are a successful and talented scouter of “women who look good in front of a camera whilst wearing very little”. It is an undeniable skill. You only have to look at some of the rotund and frankly bestial young monsters on the interweb to see that for yourself. Now get out of my office and leave me alone with these pictures. I expect to see more of them on Monday. Don’t forget now or I’ll charge you double for this hour. Now shoo shoo shoo!

Uncle B: Thanks doc, I feel better now. I’ll post up some more Amy pics on Monday for sure.

TO SEE MORE PICS OF THE AMAZING AMY JUST HOVER YOUR MOUSE CLICKER THING HERE AND CLICK THE BUTTON. FLESHY GOODNESS AND SCANTILY-CLAD SCOUSE INCREDULITY DOTH AWAIT!