Saiorse

The light pours out of her

	In the Kamigata area they have a sort of tiered lunchbox they use for a single day when flower viewing. Upon returning, they throw them away, trampling them underfoot. The end is important in all things.

Saiorse is a fantastic creature. She doesn't have wings or a beak,. And isn't written about by old men with beards and real ale fascinations. But she is mythical and wondrous nonetheless. We asked her a load of questions about samurais. She answered.

In the words of the ancients, Saiorse, one should make decisions in the space of seven breaths. You must answer all these questions within seven breaths, okay?
Er, okay...

The Way of the Samurai is found in death. Meditation on inevitable death should be performed daily. What do you do every day?
I watch daytime telly and take long, hot showers!

Taking an enemy on the battlefield is like a hawk taking a bird. Even though it enters into the midst of a thousand of them, it gives no attention to any bird apart from the one it has first marked. Do you like going clubbing?
Yes. I like to go on the pull with my girlies at the weekend sure! We wear the shortest skirts and the fellas love it.

If one were to say in a word what the condition of being a samurai is, its basis first lies in seriously devoting one's body and soul to his master. Have you got a boyfriend?
Not at the moment. I'm on the market loking for fun! And good sex!

Among the maxims on Lord Naoshige's wall, there was this one: 'Matters of great concern should be treated lightly.' Master Ittei commented, 'Matters of small concern should be treated seriously.' How important is buying the right shampoo and conditioner?
Very important, especially if you're in the market for a new fella! Like I am!

It is bad when one thing becomes two. One should not look for anything else in the Way of the Samurai. It is the same for anything called a Way. [Very long pause]
Am I supposed to answer that?

[Another very long pause] Even if one's head were to be suddenly cut off, a samurai should be able to do one more action with certainty. Could you function without your head, Saiorse?
Probably not, though I would still have my bum! I like my bum!

In the Kamigata area they have aa sort of tiered lunchbox they use for a single day when flower viewing. Upon returning, they throw them away, trampling them underfoot. The end is important in all things. Thanks for your time, Saiorse. [Bows head, keeping eyes fixed on model]