Katrina Taylor

Gyms could be more fun

Things that happen when we're down the gym (which is never):

- sweaty people stare at you loads;

- sweaty people sweat over all the machines loads and only about 50% of them bother to wipe the devices afterwards;

- the fit girl in reception who we fancy refuses to get eye contact with us, and if she accidentally does, it nearly always resembles a look of disgust/sympathy;

- the girl at reception who we fancy flirts with all the fuckwit personal trainers even though we doubt any of them have read any Kafka or watched a subtitled film in their lives;

- we leave after 30 minutes out of sheer boredom/lethargy and never go back, thus wasting £50 per month for the duration of our stupidly long/optimistic contract.

Things that never happen:

- Katrina Taylor is there;

- Katrina Taylor is there offering to teach you how to use all the equipment but secretly hoping you'll ask her back to your smelly flat to watch an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie;

- Katrina Taylor, dressed like she is in these pictures to your right, constantly harasses you whilst you're trying to press some benches saying things like "You don't need to work out, I'd **** you just the way you are" and "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at home working on your screenplay and chilling those alcoholic beverages I bought you so we can get drunk toegther later and you can take advantage of me..."

Why is everyone these days so bothered with having big muscles anyway? Gyms could be so much more fun.