Tina Wallman

Re-igniting the nation's [our] botty obsessions [petty perversions]

Maxim: Hello Tina. What a fine day it is today. Your botty looks lovely?
Tina: Thank you.

Maxim: Perfection.
Tina: Quite.

Maxim: Like a bowl of warm porridge on a cold winter's day.
Tina: Yes.

Maxim: Like suddenly finding your passport at the airport when you're convinced you've forgotten it.
Tina: Kind of I suppose.

Maxim: A sight for sore and slightly twisted little eyes.
Tina: Er...

Maxim: A thousand heated chalets for the homeless and the gentle kiss of a fledgling seal.
Tina: Eh?

Maxim: A million crashing waves eroding away at the tainted souls of men.
Tina: You've lost me.

Maxim: You know, like two fleshy conkers trapped in a little sling. A good ass. Right peachy, like. Devilish, savage and treacherous. Curvy as fook!
Tina: Er, cheers.

[Massive silence]

Tina: Is that it?
Maxim: Yes, thanks Tina.