Maxim: Hi Natasha. The naughty gropes you're in in our pictures are truly first rate. Really. We like GIRL-ON-GIRL stuff immensely. Even more than the tea break we had this morning. AND WE EVEN REMEMBERED THE BISCUITS! 
SHE'S BEEN PROMSING TO DO THIS FOR A WHILE. I have been soooooo slack... 
Natasha: What were they, Bourbons?
Maxim: Yes, they were! You posing with your almost-as-amazing LESBIONIC FRIEND was better than TEA AND BOURBONS! At the same time!
Natasha: We are like conjoined twins. She comes round every day. We kiss, cuddle and do rude things even when the cameras aren't around!
Maxim: Really?
Natasha: Yes.
Maxim: Conjoined twins?
Natasha: Haha - I thought you were gonna ask me about WHAT we did to EACH OTHER in RUDE WAYS whilst we were on our OWN. And FEELING SEXY.
Maxim: And dead depraved and filthy and horrible and stuff?
Natasha: Yeah, kind of.
Maxim: The stuff you do when NO-ONE ELSE IS AROUND?
Natasha: Yes. IN PRIVATE! WITH JUST TINY PANTS ON!
Maxim: We will, sure. You mentioned coinjoined twins though. We were just thinking: if a conjoined twin was found guilty of murder, would both twins have to go to jail?
Natasha: A good question.
Maxim: Thanks.
Natasha: Well, to my knowledge a conjoined twin wouldn't be imprisoned for a a crime he hadn't committed. In the case of murder, one twin might be convicted of being an accessory to the murder committed by the other, in which case they'd both go to jail. While conjoined twins probably have as much reason to commit as murder as anyone else, they don't really have the opportunity. Their twin would obviously be a witness and any other witnesses wouldn't have too much trouble identifying them. Unsurprisingly then, there have been no murder cases involving conjoined twins.
Maxim: That's what we thought. So, onto the RUDE STUFF. What do you and your friend get up to WHILST ON YOUR OWN in HOTELS with DESIRES OF THE SEXUAL PERSUASION? Our readers really must know.
Natasha: Damn! Sorry, we'll have to do this another time. I need to answer the door! My friend's here. And from what I can make out through the window she's got my CAT O' NINE TAILS and my MASSIVE TUBE of ANTI BACTERIAL HAND GEL...
Maxim: She's going to punish you again for not protecting yourself against swine flu, isn't she?
Natsha: Yes. SHE'S A REAL STICKLER FOR THIS SORT OF THING. I have been soooooo slack...
Maxim: Well, good luck. We'll see you again soon hopefully...
Natasha: Thanks. I'm in her hands now...
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