Abi Titmuss is a bona fide sex icon, like a Marilyn Monroe, or a Red Rum, of our time. She has such a monopoly over the male mind that if you haven't dreamt about her in bed next to your girlfriend, and woken with an overwhelming sense of guilt and a need to some emergency washing, then you're a robot. And if you are a robot, you'll probably still imitate a sexual fascination with her in your quest to be human. In any case, we decided to get to the bottom of the Titmuss phenomenon… 
It said 'Fun to eat' on the box, so I suggested taking my knickers off and replacing them with popcorn 
Did you enjoy our photoshoot?
I did enjoy it... loads. I've never worn a telelphone before!
At one point it seems you replaced your body hair with popcorn.
Well, if I had any hair down there in the first place, then that would be true. I noticed they were putting popcorn on the floor all around me and it said 'Fun to eat' on the box, so I suggested taking my knickers off and replacing them with popcorn.
Did you eat any of it?
No, but I guess i could have sold it on ebay afterwards.
Can you complete this sentence? Abi Titmuss is Britain's biggest...
Erm... Underground antiques dealer.
Ah, we knew you'd say that. What's the biggest lie you've ever heard about yourself?
That I'd ever write a kiss-and-tell book telling all about the sex I've had with people. I'm not saying i'd never write a book, but I would never, ever write a kiss-and-tell, because I'm just not like that.
What happens when you answer the door to delivery men?
They do a proper double take and spin their head around. Sometimes I'll be signing for something and I'll look up quickly and see their face slightly screwed up, as if to say, 'Wait a minute...'
Which one of these items have you used in a sexual scenario: a toothbrush?
I've used an electric toothbrush before.
Cheese?
No!
Whipped cream?
Yes!
The shower head?
Actually, no - it's just not strong enough. The jet, I mean; I've never had a shower strong enough to do it for me.
Really? And finally, how many orgasms in a row would you need to have to make you panic and start thinking, 'Shit! What if this never ends?'
How am I supposed to answer a question like that? Q:We don't know. We've not really thought it through. Sorry.
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