Seren is like any other 18 year old fresher, only there’s one vital difference to most of the girls we watched Richard & Judy with – she is stupidly, stupidly fit. So fit, in fact, that Channel 4 has spent the last few months filming a documentary about this future superstar. So, she’s smart and she’s got probably the finest body you’ll ever see in your life. What are you waiting for? Pick up the phone and enrol on her course! (It’s that easy, right?)
You’re a student and a model – how did this happen?
All my friends always teased me, saying, ‘You should get your tits out and make some money!’ but I wasn’t interested. In my first term at uni I spent all my money on clothes, but then me and my mate Ashley got drunk one night and she took photos of me running about in my knickers! The next morning I sent them off to some agencies – and I got picked up!
You’re being followed around by a camera crew. Done anything embarrassing?
Well, I forgot they were coming one day and I was really hungover in bed with my best friend. I was still in my pyjamas with the previous night’s make-up on. I looked awful!
Dodgy hangovers aside, what makes you stand out from most other glamour models?
Not many models are in full-time education, so I’m challenging the stereotype. And I’ve got big tits!
Have they always been massive?
No, I used to have no boobs whatsoever. I was a skinny, flat-chested sparrow, but one day I woke up and I had boobs! It was really good. I was a B-cup and my mum said I should get measured. I was praying the bra shop wouldn’t put me down to an A-cup but they said I was a DD. It was the best day of my life!
What did your schoolmates say?
In my old school yearbook they had a whole section on my tits and the situations my breasts had got me in, with a note that said, ‘Good luck in the glamour industry!’ It’s quite funny now!
When did you start flashing them in public?
When I was 17 – I was in a pub with all these old Welsh farmers. I got really drunk and ended up in a wet T-shirt competition. Stupidly, I thought you wouldn’t be able to see my boobs through it, so I took my bra off. Everyone could see them – still, I won!
Ever been chatted-up by a celebrity?
A few weeks ago I was in [swanky London nightclub] Chinawhites – which is not a place I normally go to. Someone came up to me and said, ‘Dean Gaffney would like to speak to you.’ I pretended I didn’t hear. What is this – year seven? A school disco?
So, what kind of blokes do you go for?
I really like cocky men. Someone came up to me in the student union the other day and said, ‘You’ve got the best tits in the uni!’ and then just buggered off! I prefer that to cheesy lines.
What’s the worst thing a man can do in bed?
Turn into a little boy and go all weak and pathetic.
And the best?
I love it when a man’s really controlling – but gentle at the same time.
Do you drink snakebite and black in the uni bar?
Everyone else does but I think it’s disgusting! I drink cheap vodka. We down it before we go out so we don’t have to buy drinks in the union. When we turn up, we’re already wasted!
If you were bored at a party, how would you liven it up?
When I was 16 I was terrible! I used to start stripping, snogging girls and running round in my knickers!
Not tempted to come out of retirement?
Well actually, it happened again a few weeks ago! Me and my friend Becky got really drunk and we started snogging each other in front of my mate, Adam! We were trying everything to shock him but he just walked off! I woke up and there were all these pictures on my phone!
Blimey! Got any other dodgy pics on there?
There’s one of me passed out on the kitchen floor with lettuce and feta cheese all over me. I fancied some food after getting home one night and I passed out with it all over my face!
OK, supposing you had to have someone else’s face grafted on to yours, whose would you pick?
Cameron Diaz!
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