He was a genuine card, was Kim Jong Il. And it is true (in a totally non-true sort of way) that when Sophie Reade isn't deployed on the high street scoping shops for tops that don't fit her properly, she's generally sat at home in her knickers pondering which world leaders, past and present, that she would most like to go on a date with.
"It would be all grinning and handshakes round Obama's gaff, so he's out," she didn't say.
"Hitler was certainly a commanding presence," she also didn't say. "A real take charge kind of guy."
"Bet Gaddafi knew how to throw a pool party," she didn't add.
"And I'm sure that Clegg wouldn't let you down on the cheeseboard front," she didn't murmur.
"Kim Jong had it all though.
He once bought some giant white rabbits to help ease the starvation problems in North Korea and then ate them all on his 60th birthday! I mean, how eccentric is that!
He was really stupidly good at golf too but refused to go on the professional golf circuit because he was dead busy running his country, which was nice of him.
He also had over 20,000 DVDs too, including Rambo and Predator and Friday the 13th, which is just lush.
And if during our meals and japes and banter and fish suppers and film-watching and cuddling and laughing and stuff my top started to get dry i would just go back on one of his myriad water slides in his back garden. Everyone's a winner!"
"I'm going to miss him," she didn't add.
You're not the only one, Sophie Reade.
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Sophie Reade’s 2012 calendar is available online at glamourgirlcalendars.com/Sophie
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