Kelly Brook

Bikini Blessings

1. We would still be trying to create fire.
2. We would still be marvelling over the invention of the wheel.
3. We would still get our women by clubbing them over the head and dragging them back to our caves for some nookie. (BOB LIKES DA NOOKIE. Who's Bob?! No one knows.)
4. We would still be terrified of the sun.
5. We would still have an interesting commute to work, thanks to the Sabertooth Tiger, Wooly Mammoth and that little rat thing that always loses his nut.
6. We would still communicate via a series of grunts, and not just first thing in the morning.
7. We would still wear fur. ALL the time.
8. We would still be painting on the walls, winding up our freshly clubbed and nookied missus no end.
9. We would still have to hunt for our dinner, even if we were really hungover.
10. We would have remained as knuckle scrapers forever.

What we're trying to say is, Kelly, you are the reason man evolved. And for this, we thank you. We also thank you for being insanely hot, and letting us watch from time to time. Cheers.

Click!