Roxanne McKee

Diamond Rox - Shiny!

	There was this one time though when I went out with a guy and talked about my ex-boyfriend the whole time, because he shared the name of my ex-boyfriend and the star sign. I must have come across as a complete lunatic…

When Roxanne McKee isn’t brightening British men’s weekends by being dead fit and feisty in northern skinflick, Hollyoaks, we’re whisking her down to London to point cameras at her in various states of undress and ask her intrusive questions about her private life. Let the interrogation begin…

How did you enjoy your shoot with Maxim?

Yeah, it was really good, really enjoyable.

What was your favourite part of the day?

Lunch! Lunch is always my favourite part of the day because lunch is when I get fed. We had nice chicken sandwiches and tiny little filo pastry things with goat’s cheese and leeks and stuff as well. You’re bored already, aren’t you?

Not quite yet. What was the most diva-ish thing you did? Did you shout at any junior stylists or demand any hard drugs?

No! I think the most diva-ish thing I did was ask for a bottle of water. And I didn’t bloody get given it either! Haha, only joking.

What about the girliest thing you did?

I applied some lip balm. All girls love lip balm.

At a fancy dress party, what would you wear to make you stand out from all the other female guests?

I think I’d dress like a Bassett’s Liquorice Allsort. Maybe the long twirly one with a big piece of blancmange in the middle!

Would you share your liquorice with any of the Hollyoaks girls? Or is there a bit of friendly friction between you all?

No, not at all. I’ve been asked that before, but there really isn’t. I would definitely share.

When the Hollyoaks girls go out does pandemonium of the drooling bloke variety ensue?

Nah, not really. We just kinda go out and have a good time and people come up and ask for the odd picture so we say: ‘No! Do one!’ Actually, I’m joking, we always give pictures!

Who’s the biggest drinker out of the lot of you?

Jenny Metcalfe [who plays Mercedes McQueen] and Gemma Merna [who plays Carmel McQueen]. They’re crazy! One time… actually, I can’t tell that story!

Ah, go on, you can trust us…

Oh, go on then! Once a big group of us went to Spain, had quite a large night and Jenny Metcalfe and Leah Hackett [who plays Tina McQueen] ended up drinking considerable amounts. Anyway, they disappeared for ages and came back to the party an hour later smelling of seaweed. And I was like, ‘You stink of wet dog!’ and Jenny went, ‘Er, that’s because we’ve just been skinny dipping!’ But Gemma Merna… actually, the Gemma Merna bit I can’t tell you!

What’s it about?

Lots and lots of alcohol, that’s all I’m saying. Of course, I just sat in the corner drinking orange juice like a good girl.

Sure you did. If Coronation Street had a big transfer budget and came in for you in the transfer window, would join them?

Not a cat’s chance in hell.

Why not?

Because Hollyoaks is better!

You don’t want to be a barmaid in the Rovers?

No, I own my own business in Hollyoaks. Why would I just want to go be a barmaid?

You do know it’s not real, don’t you?

Oh, shut up!

OK, how about if Hollywood came a-knocking, what would you do then?

I’d say: ‘Come in, have some tea!’

What sort of stuff would you like to do?

If Hollywood came a-knocking as you put it, I’d do anything that they asked me to do, within reason of course.

Of course. Do you get a lot of fan mail? How weird does it get?

We get fan mail, sure. I had some jewellery made for me once. It wasn’t jewellery that you’d buy in a shop, it was sort of metalwork, but it was nice.

Sounds rubbish. Did you throw it away or have you still got it? Be honest now…

No, I’ve still got it! It came in a little box with an inscription, ‘Roxanne McKee and Louise Summers’, as that’s who I play. It was nice, really sweet. But I don’t think I’ve got any crazies after me.  Not yet anyway…

OK, picture the scene: one of your dear friends has got a bit of a belly on her and she’s decided to wear a top that doesn’t cover it properly. Do you:

a) tell her she looks a mess and should change immediately b) do nothing and forget about it c) spend the whole night doodling on it with a felt tip pen? I would tell her she should change! I’d prefer if somebody told me if my belly was hanging over my trousers.

Blimey. That’s a bit harsh, eh…

Yeah, but I’d only say it if she’s asked for my opinion, otherwise that’s just mean.

Well, she hasn’t asked you, that’s the whole point of the question…

How bad does it look?

Pretty bad. It’s sagging over her cheap jeans and all sorts…

Yeah, I think I’d tell her anyway then. I’m not an evil person though, honest.

We believe you.

Thanks.

As we understand it, you pretty much get the sexiest female honour at every soap awards. What does Dot Cotton think about this?

I think she’s really pissed off to be honest, because obviously I took the title off her. Pat Butcher had it the year before and I think that half of the reason I got it was because she lent me her earrings. It’s a dog-eat-dog world, what can I say?

Speaking of which, you’ve been in a lot of catfights in Hollyoaks. Have you ever actually hit anyone during filming?

Yeah, I punched Clare once, who was played by Gemma Bissix. We did have a fight instructor come in and teach me how to punch and I did. She took it like a man. It was really good fun, it was like a bitch fight. But I did punch her and she did slap me, and I think I still have a scar!

Let’s talk snogging. You’ve got to get off with someone in Hollyoaks and you don’t really like them, do you eat garlic to put them off?

Yeah, all the time. And some just-seared tuna too, because then it really stinks and sticks between your teeth. Oh and onions, onions are always good. Red onions especially; I find them more pungent. And sometimes a bit of Stilton, too. Just for a change.

You’re both professional actors sure, but have any of the boy’s soldiers ever saluted during one of these scenes?

I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about!

OK… moving swiftly on. What’s the most embarrassing scene that you’ve ever been involved in?

When Ricky Whittle [who plays Bobby Calvin] had to wear a white sports sock on his soldier and clamber all over me!

Would it have been less embarrassing if it they were argyle?

Perhaps slightly less so, yes.

OK, on the subject of silly men. What do you think is worse on a guy: a beard or a hat?

I like both.

What about bearded men in hats?

Are they wearing raincoats?

No.

Well then, they’re fine. Raincoats with nothing underneath except maybe a sock on a soldier, then maybe I’d be worried. But if it’s just a hat and a beard then I’m thinking Johnny Depp, and I’m thinking that I don’t really have a problem with Johnny Depp.

What’s the shittest tattoo you’ve ever seen on someone, including yourself?

Somebody in our work, and I’m not going to name names, has a tattoo on their arm of a little man strumming a guitar and, yes, it’s shit.

Have you ever stolen anything?

Yeah maybe, what’s it to you?

Nothing, actually. You’re a damsel in distress, who would you rather be saved by: Batman, or Spider-Man or Superman?

Oh, cool question.

Thanks.

Well, Batman’s got the Batmobile, which is quite good. Superman can fly, but he’s a bit dated. And Spider-Man, he’s a freak, he’s like half spider, there’s no way I’d want him anywhere near me. So I’d go for the Bat – he’s quite sexy and a bit dark and a bit brooding.

Everyone goes for the Bat. Alright, nearly done. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? What was it like, where did he take you and what happened at the end of it.

Er, oh no, I can’t tell you that one…

Bit naughty is it?

Not really. There was this one time though when I went out with a guy and talked about my ex-boyfriend the whole time, because he shared the name of my ex-boyfriend and the star sign. I must have come across as a complete lunatic…

Why can’t you tell us about the other one?

Because I’d have to kill you afterwards:

That’s OK, we’ll do it for the mag. Make it quick. We love you mum!

[Silence]

You’re not going to tell us are you?

No… moving on.

That was the last question.

Shame to end on a downer.

Ah well. Life hurts. Thanks, Roxanne.

Thank you, Maxim.