Danielle Bux

Welsh Sexpot Alert!

	I think anything red and lacy is a big no-no. Nothing crotchless or nippleless.

With Charlotte Church up the duff and Katherine Jenkins too wholesome by half, there’s room in our hearts for a new Welsh sexpot. Enter the lovely Danielle Bux. The bubbly Valleys girl is stepping out with Gary Lineker, which might explain why the jammy goal poacher seems to have a permanent grin on his face while Mark Lawrenson continues to look like a recently bereaved bloodhound. As you can see she scrubs up rather nicely, especially for someone with access to an inexhaustible supply of crisps…

You look incredible. Did you enjoy the shoot?

It was great, yeah, a really good day. With a bit of airbrushing, I’m sure it’ll be alright!

None required, we assure you. You’ve modelled a lot of underwear. If we were to buy you a set, what sort would be a winner?

I think something pretty, not too sexy. Nothing red, nothing lacy. Pastel colours maybe. Something a bit girly for me.

Buying underwear for the missus is a veritable minefield for a chap. Got any tips? Anything we should avoid?

I think anything red and lacy is a big no-no. Nothing crotchless or nippleless. And make sure you know her sizes, because there’s nothing worse than getting underwear that doesn’t fit you properly. Nothing cheap either. Try to spend the most you can, because it really pays off.

Are you a fan of the thong or do you prefer French knickers?

French knickers. They’re prettier and more comfortable than a thong.

You model for La Senza. Have you met Theo Paphitis?

I haven’t, but I’ve seen him on Dragons’ Den and he always comes across as good fun.

You used to work as an air hostess. Did you ever have to deal with air rage?

I think there was air rage on most flights. There’s always someone who’s pissed off about not getting their chicken or whatever. People are arseholes when they’re flying. I know a girl who had a passenger who thought he was Jesus and tried to get in the cockpit to fly the plane. They had to restrain him. There are incidents like that but, thank God, not on my watch.

If you were doing a long-haul flight, what would you do to keep yourself amused?

On the night flights, a brilliant game we used to play was ‘hide the bread roll’. When all the passengers were asleep, one of us would get a bread roll, and then put it on their lap, or their head or their shoulder. Then the next person would have to go out and find it and move it on to another passenger. We also put dry ice in the sink of the back toilet, poured water over it to make it steam up. Then we’d send the newest crewmember to deal with it.

Isn’t that a bit terrifying for them?

Well, we tell them it’s the clouds coming up through the sink, and get them to go and tell the pilot. That’s the oldest one in the book and very funny.

Gary does a lot of TV work – do you have any aspirations to get on the box?

It’s not something I’ve given too much thought to. If I was to, it’d probably be a travel show or something, because I’ve travelled so much. As crew you always know about the little places the tourists don’t know about. The best shops, the best restaurants…

What would your travel tip be then?

This is going to sound a bit chavvy, but if you go to New York and you get on the ferry to Staten Island, it’s free, but it does a circuit of the Statue Of Liberty on the way, so you get to see it for nothing.

You’re dating Gary Lineker at the moment. Are you much of a football fan?

Not a massive fan, but he’s always on about it at home. He’s got four boys and they’re all football mad, so it’s hard to get away from it really. They’ve outnumbered me.

What was the last game you went to?

I watched England at Wembley last season. Christ, that can’t have been fun. Haha, no it wasn’t.

Can you explain the offside rule?

I could! Ummm, it’s sort of like when one of the defenders gets in front of the other players from the other team… I could show you. The defender goes in front of the scorer of the other team… it’s like a straight line and if you go past that line you’re offside. Haha, I should’ve asked Gary that one before I spoke to you.

Close enough. So do you have a favourite team, then?

Well, being Welsh, I always follow Cardiff. I’ve seen them play. Or Man Utd, because my brother’s a massive Man Utd fan.

So have you met any of the rest of the Match Of The Day team?

Yeah, I’ve met all of the boys. They’re lovely.

Who’s the best value?

[No hesitation] Oh Hansen, without a doubt.

What about Mark Lawrenson? Because, would you believe it, on the telly he can actually come across as a bit dour…

Haha, no, he’s good fun actually. I think when he comes across like that it might be a bit tongue in cheek. That’s what it is with Lawro.

Are they all mates off-screen then?

Yeah. When Gary’s doing filming up north, we always go out with them then, because they’re all from up Manchester way, Manchester and Liverpool. But I think we hang out with Hansen more than the rest of them, though.

Do you have any tattoos?

No. Definitely no tattoos, I hate them. I don’t mind them on a guy, but they have to suit the guy. They don’t suit everybody. I think those Chinese ones are a bit naff, and all that Hebrew writing, that’s not for me really. Something that means something to you maybe is nice. If I had to have something, it’d probably be really sentimental, like the date my daughter was born or something. But I would never get one.

If someone challenged you to a dance off, what would be your signature move?

I’ve got two left feet so I’d have to get off the dancefloor and leave them to it.

Fair enough. You’re in a celebrity couple now. Which celebrity would you most like to inflict a Chinese burn on?

Oh shit. David Gest, he’s a weird, annoying character. He’s a weirdo, isn’t he? I don’t wanna say anybody I’ll ever meet…

OK, serious question. How many grapes do you think you could fit in your bra?

Ah, loads. We thought it’d be about 160, with 80 in each cup. Yeah I reckon that’s about right. Maybe a few more.

Do you have a favourite joke?

How do you get a fat woman into bed? Piece of cake.

Very good. Finally, if you could draw something on George Bush’s head without him realising and no one finding out, what would you draw?

A willy, because that’s what he is.

See more of Danielle Bux at Freeones.com

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