Lynx Ad Girls

'Using your powers to attract men and then kill them is an interesting idea,' says Cheri-Ann (left). Don't worry, this month's Relish girl isn't from HMP Holloway's psycho ward, but Cape Town, the setting for the latest Lynx Dry adverts. We're here on a pristine South African beach, discussing the timeless erotic thrill of mutant fish-ladies luring sailors to their death.
'Maybe I'll become a mermaid in my second life,' muses Nadia, Cheri-Ann's co-star in the new ad.
'There's definitely a feminist way of thinking there,' Cheri-Ann says, warming to the theme. 'Maybe feminists evolved from mermaids...'
Whoah! This needs nipping in the bud. Can we get back to the real question raised by that lovely, nudey, man-trapping ad - namely, how do mermaids have sex?
'Well, have we established whether there are mermen too?' asks Cheri-Ann. We bloody hope not. The idea of a bearded brute smelling of haddock hanging around these lovelies is enough to put anyone off his chips. Luckily, there are none to be seen as the pair frolic on the rocks and we snap away. Unsurprisingly, we're soon joined by a crowd, including one especially keen gentleman with a camcorder. We chase him away with a broom. Not that Nadia's bothered.
'If they enjoy themselves by looking at us, that's fine with me,' she insists. Cheri-Ann's not shy, either: 'I think I'd make the perfect superstar,' she roars. 'Seriously. I thrive on attention, and I love playing up to the camera.'
The ad was shot on this very spot. That day however, attracted a slightly scarier set of onlookers. 'We have a big shark problem in Cape Town, so there were divers all around us with spear guns,' says Cheri-Ann. 'I was so excited about the job that I totally forgot, but looking back I think, shit - was I insane?'
Maybe. But as the end result was seeing two mythical lovelies trying to snare a sweat-free man and drag him along the beach and onto their scales, who cares? Sadly, they didn't do it to us - we perspire like pigs in the summer. And what's wrong with that?
'If you're in the gym, fine,' explains Nadia, 'But if some sweaty man rubs past me in a club, that's just gross.'
Femme Fatale is on 1Xtra BBC, 10-12am Wednesdays on DAB, Digital Radio and at www.bbc.co.uk/1Xtr