The Fcuk Ladies

Despite being essentially an island nation, the British have never really got the hang of beach culture. We'd rather wear hankies on our heads than risk getting a tan, go for barge holidays in Norwich than dare those four-foot waves in Newquay, and our only foray into risque beach behaviour is the chilly, pasty mass of flesh that is the Brighton nudist colony.
Mercifully, this summer, a touch of the exotic will be gracing our shores thanks to the new campaign from FCUK. The ads feature the bikini-clad forms of Sarina and Jennifer, inviting us to sample the joys of the mythical Fcukiki beach - namely sun, sea, sand and what appears to be an abnormally high level of wanton carnality.
Which is not all that out of the norm for an FCUK campaign. 'The last French Connection thing I did had me smoking a cigarette in a really short skirt, and it's pretty clear that I've just had sex,' says Sarina. Does the likes of such post-coital innuendo being plastered around the world cause even the slightest blush on the girl's cheeks? Apparently not. 'I find the whole campaign hilarious,' says Jennifer. 'It's all tongue-in-cheek, even if it is a bit raunchy. I wouldn't do anything to embarrass myself. It's all good fun.'
While the delicate art of using beautiful women to enchant us is hardly a revelation, FCUK are bringing in a novel live element by inviting us all to see the beautiful women in the flesh. 'We're going to be touring around the country in a camper van from 3 May onwards,' says Jennifer. 'We'll be storming through the major cities, so if anyone is around they can come and say hello.' Now there's an invitation.
So can we expect volleyball and all things active from the ladies on the beach, or simply bronzed sun-worshipping? 'I'm definitely an active person,' says Jennifer. 'I spend a lot of time powerboat racing. I've got my captain's licence, and I've been racing Scarab boats. They're pretty fast.' If the thought of this sultry maiden standing proudly at the prow doesn't make you want to rush to the beach, perhaps Sarina on the sunlounger can tempt you. 'If I'm wearing anything on the beach it'll be a bikini, or maybe some denim hotpants,' she says. 'I go out of my way to avoid tan lines, so I prefer going naked, though you've got to be careful which beaches you go to.' Bad news then for Scarborough. Perhaps.