Michella Cruz

Five World Cups and Michella Cruz, the face of the new Kronenbourg ad campaign: Brazilian men have got a lot to smile about - so it's a pity that (blessed with faces only orthodontists could love), they can't.

Michella, do all Brazilian men look like Ronaldo and Ronaldinho? 'I don't know why they look this way - but who cares, when they play like that.'

Quite. And the women...? 'Well, it's not true that we all go naked on the beach, or topless in the streets or wear bikinis in the office.That only happens in Rio, or at Carnival, or if there's a party.'

Sounds frequent. 'Yes, sex is in our blood. In a crowd, you can always tell the Brazilian girl, because she's smiling.'

And yet Michella stars in an advert about how great France is. 'I've never been there, but I understand the British don't like the French. It's the same with us and the stupid Argentines.'

So you're a beautiful woman from a nation of ugly men, and you've got it in for the Argies - why don't you move to the UK? You'd fit in perfectly! 'I'm not so sure. You see, I think Ronaldinho's free kick was a deliberate shot.'