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Features: Top Tens

 

Top Ten Prime Ministers
And the winner is . . .

Prime Ministers, as we now all know, have been rubbish for the past twenty years. But why? Simple: they have lost any sense of style. Here at Maxim we demand a degree of gravitas from our leaders. Whoever gets in to Number 10 this week one thing's for certain: they won't look anywhere near as good as this lot.

The most important thing about any Prime Minister is, quite simply, the way they look. The cut of their cloth. Their individual style and confidence. Policies and a handle on the state of the nation are all very well, but who is going to take you seriously if you look dull?

The last five Prime Ministers have singularly let the whole country down with their ill-fitting, bland suits and their no-ripples haircuts. One of them, Margaret Thatcher, didn't even bother to try to look like a gentleman. John Major's dress sense was so dull and safe he seemed, often-times, to not even be there. Tony Blair? Blue suits. Loose ties. Bank clerk. Gordon Brown's cuffs are too long, as are his trouser legs. His hair tried to have personality, but then he reigned it in, fearful of anti-hair backlash in the marginals. Should Clegg or Cameron get in (they're almost the same person, which in itself is a clone of the awful Tony Blair) we'll have more M and S blue suits, poorly knotted ties and vague haircuts to look forward to for five bloody years. What's worse, with Cameron we'll have a man who likes to literally roll up his shirt sleeves to show his is 'down' with people who actually work for a living. All this does is reveal hairless white arms and a lack of muscle definition - arms that have been troubled by nothing more strenuous than signing the occasional cheque and lifting oysters to his weak lipless mouth.

How are we supposed to trust these men with our country when they have trouble dressing themselves in the morning? What impression are we giving to the rest of the world sending these men out as our sartorial ambassadors? First impressions are, as we all know, crucial. This lack of style in our leaders is why Britain has fallen so far down the International Scale of Power.

All of these Johnny-Come-Latelys should look back at the rich heritage their position offers. The sylistic twists and quirks, the flamboyance and renegade touches. Big men, important men. Men with decent tailors, original haircuts and not a style advisor in sight. Take note PM, and get thee a seersucker for the summer months.

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Winston Churchill (1940-45, 1951-55)

Two term Winnie, perhaps our most famous and arguably our finest Prime Minister, didn't get the support of the electorate wearing an off-the-peg suit and rubber soled shoes did he? The homburg hat carried us through World War Two, cloaked more often than not in a cloud of Cuban cigar smoke. Whither the smoking politician? The bow tie can only be worn by strong men and Dr Who: Churchill was not Dr Who.



 
Spencer Perceval (1807-1812)

The only Prime Minister to have been assassinated, Perceval was a true dandy. Note the wrapped and flambouyantly bowed neck-scarf. The tailored shirt with wide open collar have seen some gin palace action, no doubt. The slicked back hair and face chalk mark a man who could say, with some confidence 'I support the war against Napolean and am for the abolition of slavery.'



 
14th Earl of Derby (1852, 1858-59, 1866-68)

Edward Smith Stanley, one of only four Prime Ministers to serve three or more terms in office. Why? Because the people liked the cut of his cloth. That simple. A frock coat of regal dimensions is coupled neatly with a white waistcoat and multiple watch chains. Stanley knew what time it was, no fear. His throat beard can only be described as Lincolnesque. And magnificent.



 
Ramsay MacDonald (1929-1935)

The first Labour Prime Minister is now viewed as something of a traitor by traditional leftist Labour supporters, with some justification. He rode to power with their support, then moved to the right and formed an alliance with the Torys that nearly broke the Labour Party. His suits, however, suggest a travelling doctor of some note. The over-size moustache perhaps conceals a lack of top lip (very Tory) but his hair seems to say 'I am your friend.'



 
     
Sir Anthony Eden (1955-1957)

Eden was Prime Minister during the farce that was the Suez Crisis, and he is generally perceived as one of the worst Prime Ministers of the 20th Century. But was he a total failure? No, of course not. The perfectly knotted silk tie and manly wide lapels, the trimmed moustache and brylcreemed hair? He was just in the wrong job. He should have been a movie star.



 
Lord North (1770-1782)

True, old Frederick North took Britian unsuccessfully through the American War of Independence, but he also faced down the Spanish in 1770 to avert a War in the Falklands. How did he do it? Christ, look at the man! Would you tangle with this Charles Laughton look-a-like? The gold brocade alone would have them scurrying back to Madrid.



 
Clement Attlee (1945-51)

After World War Two you'd have though Churchill would be a shoe-in, wouldn't you? No. The working people of Britain rejected the wartime PM for a people's Prime Minister - the first Labour man to have a majority and serve a full-term. Attlee nationalised the industries, and his clobber was all business: the three-piece, now sadly seen nowhere in Westminster, the pocket hanky, the striped silk tie. He'll get the job done.



 
2nd Marquess of Rockingham (March-July 1782)

Charles Watson-Wentworth, educated like Nick Clegg, at Westminster School, was a posh knob. His short time in office was spent worrying about The United States, who were kicking British arse big time. How reassuring, then, to turn up to negotiations with a haircut that yelled in the face of those American upstarts, "I, sir, am British. We have proper barbers, something you will loose if you reject British rule." Rejected it was, and we all know what happened to American hair in the 19th century, don't we?



 
         
David Lloyd George (1916-1922)

David Lloyd George is the only Prime Minister to have English as a second language, Welsh being his first. Didn't hold him back. He took us through World War 1 with this serious outfit. The Ascot collar and tie with small pin: formal. The bushy moustache: maverick. But most telling of all, on the heavy overcoat for heavy times: a small thumbprint of paint on the shoulder. A man who does things himself rather than rely on others.



 
Benjamin Disraeli (1874-1880)

If you are going to champion the expansion of the British Empire, you need to have a memorable look working for you. Disreali carries off the velvet jacket with satin trim detailing with panache. The monocle denotes a serious, intellectual side, offset nicely by the singular chin-hair, which nods towards the drawing room for a cigar and a port after supper.



 
 
 
 

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