At the Oxford-Cambridge boat race, 1977

'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.'

'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'

'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god!! What have I just said?’

About finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live'

'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

Talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North

'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.'

The day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked

'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?'

Commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

Weightlifting commentator

'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

Discussing missed snooker shots

'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

Watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during eclipse coverage

'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

Covering the US Masters

'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

Horse Racing Commentator

'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'