Forget the terrorists Bruce Willis single-handedly batters in Die Hard, if all of the hardest movie gangs were put in arena in a fight to the death, we reckon this lot would make the bloodiest, most eagerly-contested showdown. Hard, skilled, never-say-die and cool as friggin' fuck!
PREDATOR 'Specialist Commando Team' led by Alan 'Dutch' Schaeffer
Chiefed by Arnie and also starring wrestler Jesse 'The Body' Ventura and Apollo Creed from the Rocky films as the WEEDY one (!), the only reason they all crock it, bar Arnie, is because they had no idea they were fighting an alien, let alone a cheating scaredy-cat one that spends most of the film being invisible.
YOUNG GUNS 'The Regulators' led by Billy the Kid
These vengeful freedom fighters feature a romantic poet in their ranks, yet they still gunsling their way across the American country. And when they're finally trapped in a house by the American Army, their leader has the audacity to jump out of the top window in a chest of girlie undies and frag the number one bad guy right between the eyes. And ride away.
THE WARRIORS
Unarmed throughout, only The Warriors could jog through a night-time New York, pursued by every gang under the sun while dressed like gay Grange Hill extras, and only lose one member. The facepainted baseball-bat-nuts they face in Central Park get pasted like they're scoopings of organic mushroom pate from Budgens.
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES
They're backflipping, sword-wielding turtle ninjas for God's sake. The only children's characters it was 'cool' to like. And they save the world, too.
THE WILD BUNCH 'Pike's Gang'
Don't be fooled by the fact they're nearly all old men sitting on the cusp of retirement, the fact that they have no fear of death leads to them attacking an entire commune of Mexican soldiers and machine-gunning away about 1,000 of them before multiple bulletholes in their frail old bodies finally dictate a sit down.
ALIENS 'The marines'
Staffed by the scariest movie ballbuster in Vasquez, these super-tough marine commandos face similar issues to the Predator mob in that they have no understanding of what they're up against. Plus, the marines-to-aliens ratio is about 1:10,000. Put it this way, once they stop mouthing about, they give it a damn good blast!
THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN
It's not just the fact that they're a genuine 'all-stars' of cool, narcissistic acting talent (Charles Bronson, Steve McQueen, Yul Brynner, James Coburn, Robert Vaughn), they also blend a wide range of face-bleeding skills from McQueen's gunslinging through to Brynner's icy cool leadership, and win against the odds with minimal casualties. Legends.
HEAT 'McCauley's gang'
Starring crazy nutbag Tom Sizemore, composed 'iceman' Val Kilmer and Robert De Niro's steely menace, these ultra-skilled crims are arguably the most 'professional' gang in tinseltown. They'd orchestrate the perfect plan to pluck out your eyeballs before actually doing it - and leave less trace than a dried-out snail.
THE GOONIES
If they're battling (and beating) notorious criminal groups, taming Iain Dowie's brother and delving into deadly caverns at such a young age, just imagine what they'd be like once they've completed puberty. They'd twist your head off and poopsy down the stump - if you gave them a reason too, of course.
THE SEVENTH SAMURAI
It's basically the original Magnificent Seven, except with large swords. And if this lot ever lost, they'd stab themselves in the heart. But, of course, they never lost. They're too hard.
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