Top Ten Most Obscure and Possibly Pointless Stephen Baldwin Films

He's been a compellingly watchable LEGEND on Celebrity Big Brother, preaching to the housemates with a CRAZED GLINT in his eye, and telling Alex Reid he should be the NEXT JAMES BOND, without even a glimmer of irony lining his SMOOTH Hollywood TONES.

But just who the f*ck is this Stephen Baldwin, other than being an ex-cokey, the sibling of three other famous acting brothers (Alec, William, the other one) and the star of the VERY SUPERB The Usual Suspects?

Well, as he bragged to fellow Big Brother housemates, he's starred in some 80 VARIOUS PRODUCTIONS! However, we'd seen his slicked-back bouffant grace just three others (Casulaties Of War, Posse and Last Exit To Brooklyn). This called for a visit to movie database IMDB.com, which promptly unveiled AT LEAST 10 BALDWIN MOVIES WE'D LOVE TO SEE... these films look like CLASSICS!!!

1) SIX: THE MARK UNLEASHED (2004)

Pro-Christian sci-fi thriller envisaging a future where the Antichrist brainwashes civilians and imprisons Chrisitians. IMDB's average viewer score is 2.4/10.

2) THE SEX MONSTER (1999)

A comedy in which a man (not Balders) inexplicably makes a ravenous nymph out of his wife by convincing her to partake in a menage-a-trois. Baldwin isn't in this clip, but smooching lesbians are, so we ran with it anyway.

3) UNDER THE HULA MOON (1995)

Baldwin plays a man called Buzzard Wall who resides in a Hawaii-themed trailer, located in the Arizona desert. It's a surreal comedy, apparently. "Stephen Baldwin at his best!" reads one of the user reviews on IMDB. We have to find a copy.

4) THREESOME (1994)

Baldwin plays a hair-slicked, sex-crazed frat boy, who finds himself sharing a dorm with a mate and the sexy Lara Flynn Boyle. Baldwin and Boyle? Sizzling onscreen chemistry beckons.

5) ONE TOUGH COP (1998)

Baldwin plays the eponymous 'tough cop' who has one of the best movie names ever: Bo Dietl. It's just a shame we can't even pronounce it. Other names on the casting list include 'Gangbanger no.1' and 'Gangbanger no.2'.

6) FRIENDS AND LOVERS (1999)

Apparently known as Love And Testosterone in Blighty, it's a pervy rom-com about friends shagging in a luxury ski lodge. "Abjectly awful" reads one of the IMDB user comments. What could be 'abjectly awful' about that, especially with Baldwin's sublimely slicked-back barnet?

7) TABLE ONE (2000)

"One of the worst cool guy relationship movies ever" according to IMDB. The poster has four 'cool guys' (including Baldwin) performing very '90s pouts and wearing sharp Tarantino suits. Apparently based in a toff's bar in New York.

8) ZEBRA LOUNGE (2001)

*LESBIAN SCENE!* A made-for-telly thriller about a bored couple who become swingers. What baffles us about this though is that Baldwin's character is called JACK BAUER. Yes, you read right: JACK BAUER. Coincidence, presumably.

9) SHELTER ISLAND (2003)

Erotic thriller WITH TWIST that also stars Patsy Kensit as a lesbian, who, along with her girlfriend get stranded on an island with Stephen Baldwin and Chris Penn. It sounds amazing. Oddly, IMDB's average user score is just 3.7 out of 10.

10) THE FLINTSTONES IN VIVA ROCK VEGAS (2000)

Little-known sequel to a live-action flop, Baldwin slips into the caveman garb of joyful Barney Rubble, which means he gets to engage in fruit-bearing liaisons with Betty. The lucky bugger!