PINKY AND PERKY
Two squeaky-voiced pigs 'fingering' their acoustics with massive '60s trotters. Pissed all over Alvin and the Chipmunks, who tried in vain to steal their sound. Losers.
DR TEETH AND THE ELECTRIC MAYHEM
The Muppet Show's house band starring Zoot's ice-cool sax and Dr Teeth's Beefheart-esque vocals. Sadly disbanded in 1993 when drummer Animal married Annie Lennox and got into Hare Krishna.
THE ORANGE ORGANICS
Stars of Aussie teen soap Pugwall and Pugwall's Summer, The Orange Organics pre-dated postmodernist irony by deliberately sounding like a really bad, out-of-tune Blondie covers band. They were also about as cool as Jeremy Clarkson wigging out to John Parr in knitted leg-warmers from C&A.
FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS
More Antipodean flair, this time from a pair of hairy Kiwi songwriters whose show resembles CBeebies on acid. Also refer to as a Kiwi The Proclaimers, minus sibling connection.
SCHOOL OF ROCK
A bunch of little kids (plus Jack Black) playing instruments better than you ever could. Rumoured to be signing to Universal Records in return for a year's supply of sherbert flying saucers.
SPINAL TAP
Legends. Those mini Stonehenge models were actually casts of their massive d*cks. Allegedly.
BAD NEWS
Argumentative tossers who managed to avoid killing each other to play the REAL Donnington Monsters Of Rock. Formally a Comic Strip Presents act. Disbanded so Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson could pursue a career in setting fire to each other's testicles for a BBC2 sitcom.
WYLD STALLYNS
Saviours of the human race, The Wyld Stallyns (aka Bill and Ted) are possibly the best band ever. And they only had one song. And that was played by Kiss. Amazing.
DEATHKLOK
Animated death metal-heads from Adult Swim's Metalocalypse. Said to be the heaviest band ever. The dad of bassplayer William Murderface killed his mum with a chainsaw. Rock and roll!
PJ AND DUNCAN
The seminal Byker Grove dance duo were so life-affirmingly sublime, that they transcended the world of fiction to become REAL PEOPLE. Dancefloor banger 'Ready To Rumble' is up there alongside 'No Limit' and 'The Superman Song' as one of the greatest acid rave anthems ever subscribed to vinyl grooves.
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