SIMON AMSTELL

Approach: Ultra sarcastic, hates Brown's suit

Probable line: 'You make the Ordinary Boys seem exciting'

GILLIAN MCKEITH

Approach: Very nosey, personal, obsessed with the 'fibre of the nation'

Probable line: 'This is all well and good chaps, but tell me, DOES YOUR SHIT FLOAT?'

JOHN ANDERSON

Approach: No-nonsense, pushy and dead shouty

Probable line: 'Gordon, you go on my FIRST whistle. David, you go on my SECOND whistle...'

VIC AND BOB

Approach: General stupidity

Probable line:
Bob: "Gordon, have you farted?"
Gordon Brown: "No."
Bob: "What, never?"

JOHN LYDON

Approach: C*nty. Really c*nty

Probable line: 'Judge not others unless you're prepared to be judged!'

CHRIS KAMARA

Approach: Over-enthusiastic, mic-to-lip

Probable line: 'Unbelievable!'

ANNE ROBINSON

Approach: Kinky schoolmistress

Probable line: 'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the dumbest of you all?'

FRANKIE BOYLE

Approach: Thatcher and heroin

Probable line: The English are worried about the Euro being brought in because of loss of national identity and rising prices. In Scotland, people are just worried in case they have to close Poundstretcher.

AINSLEY HARRIOT

Approach: Absurdly jolly

Probable line: [Looks at audience, massive smile] 'So what's it to be then? [points at David Cameron] Blue peppers? Or [Points at Gordon brown] Red tomatoes?'

DUNCAN BANNATYNE

Approach: Languid over-confidence

Probable line: 'Can I just stop you both there... [Does anyway] Anyone can be Prime Minister, it's simple. Why should I invest my vote in YOU?'