1 Peperami
‘I really like the green packaging. And the sausage,
obviously. It’s one of those things where you get the multi-pack and then scoff
the lot and get a really dodgy stomach. Especially with the extra-hot ones –
they’ve got a bit of a kick. There doesn’t seem like there’s enough there if
you just have one, but then they expand in your stomach and… blurghh.’
2 New York hot-dogs
‘They’re not really that nice, but you have to buy a hot-dog
from a stand because you’re in New York. They’re all small and squishy so you
end up having about three: there’s a theme here, isn’t there? I like a bit of
everything, so I put on the ketchup, the mustard, the onions – but not the
cheese. They have this big tub of melted cheese and it’s fucking horrible. Then
they scoop it out with a big ladle. A ladle of filth, hah!’
3 Subway Sandwiches
‘They’re the best, because you get the chance to deck it out
in every single thing you can imagine, including all seven sauces. They used to
do seafood, but now they just have tuna, which is annoying. They have one in
Goa, and there’s still no seafood even though it’s right on the beach. My
ultimate would be seafood, onions and mayonnaise.’
4 Pickled Onion Monster Munch
‘The old variety, when they were owned by Smiths, not
Walkers. Someone bought me a massive box – like you get in a newsagent – of
Monster Munch once, and it was one of the best Christmas presents I’ve ever
had, even better than the Millennium Falcon. The taste used to be so strong, it
was like, “Warrghhh!”’
5 Dairylea Dunkers
‘You eat all the pods before the cheese is done, so you end
up sticking your finger in there as well. I’m not talking about my sex life…
Just because I’m in an extreme metal band, it doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy
Dairylea Dunkers once in a while. I’d like to be sponsored by them.’
6 Pork Scratchings
‘It’s got to be the “oop north” variety. They’re a craft and
an art up north, you still get the hair and stuff on them. They’re bred on it
up there, the pigs are just herded straight into the bags and fried. And the
one in every bag that’s a bit mushy, that’s the best bit. I love it. Everyone
always goes, “Ugh, pork scratchings”, but then you go to the toilet and come
back to find half the bag’s been scoffed.’
7 Beef Jerky
‘There’s something about it I quite like. They’ve started
doing all these brilliant ones like Teriyaki and Jack Daniels and things like
that. It’s really healthy, apparently: there’s no fat in it. OK, it’s probably
not exactly healthy.’
8 Crabsticks
‘Or seafood sticks, since they can’t call them crabsticks
anymore. I like mixing them up and putting them with prawn mayonnaise or
something. Or just wolfing them down as quickly as possible and making myself
sick. I once ate two packs of 16 in one go – that’s two packs, not Tupac.
Anyway, it’s 32 in one go, which isn’t bad going. I’m practically a Kraken.’
9 Walkers Tomato Snaps
‘They’re the most tangy crisps going. They’re sort of…
snappy shaped, all bent over, as if they’re mouths. Every now and then you’ll
find them in a pub or local Co-op or something – they’re the last bastion of
proper British crisps. They beat the hell out of Tangy Toms.’
10 Garage forecourt pies
‘You always find them early in the morning in a garage,
thinking, “I’m a bloke, I’m hungry, I’ll have a Red Bull, a copy of Maxim and a
pie.” I eat them cold, I’m too greedy to wait for the microwave. When you go up
north you get local pie-eries that are really nice, all full of minced up
horses and stuff. The ultimate pie is beef and onions, though.’
Cradle Of Filth’s new album, ‘Godspeed On The Devil’s Thunder’ is out now. According to Dani, it ‘sounds like Iron Maiden on crack’
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