Road to Africa...

Peter Hooton's World Cup XI

	When Boca Juniors play at home they’ve got 40,000 Maradonas jumping up in the stands, how good is that?

I was 13 in 1990 and didn’t realise All Together Now was about the Christmas Truce in WWI when they stopped fighting, exchanged gifts and played football till the other day. Is that the greatest single moment in football history?
In terms of showing what football can do, yeah. Symbolically it has great power and really underlines the power of the game. The one thing football does of course is to divide people, but it can also unite people and I think that is one of the great examples in history of how football can do that.
It is well researched and well doecumneted that there wasn’t just one game, there was lots of games. It caused a lot of problems in the Houses of Parliamnet because of the lack of activity on the Western Front. After the games a lot of them refused to fight each other and it needed various scare stories of enemy barbarism to get them fighting again.
It’s been made into a couple of films I think. Foreign films. But I don’t think they were widely distributed in this country. [The aforementioned truce and subsequent football mathes are dramatised in the 2005 French film Joyeux Noël which is £3.99 at the moment on Amazon – Ed]

HISTORIC LETTER FROM THE CHRISTMAS TRUCE TRENCHES

Do you subscribe to the whole "Africa United" thing which has been marketed as a major theme of this World Cup?
It’s unique, yes. Twenty-five years ago it would have been unthinkable what with the worldwide embargo because of apartheid, so the fact it’s being held in South Africa is incredible really. You think back to the time when my group [The Farm] was active, teams couldn’t even go there or they’d be blacklisted.
It’s a fantastic boost for football. It just proves anything is possible. I hate bland slogans like that, but it’s true.
I was over in East Berlin with the group in 1988 and everyone we asked agreed that it would be another 100 years before the Berlin Wall would come down. A year later it was totally dismantled.
The World Cup doesn’t mask the institutionalised problems South Africa has got, but in terms of a massive occasion, you can’t get much bigger than that, can you?

No, you can't. How has the World Cup changed for you over the years? Is it better or worse than when you first began to recognise it?
When you’re a kid it’s more magical. My first memories were the 1970 Brazil team. I didn’t watch much of it though. I can’t remember a lot of it either, because I was at school and I think the games were on in the middle of the night.
My most memorable one would be the Argenitna tournament in 1978. I wasn’t really aware of political situtation in Argentina because I was only young, but the streams of ticker tape and the fact it was in South America – we were used to games in this country and in Europe – just made it very special. England weren’t there but the Argentina team were inspiring and a very special side to behold.

What with the proliferation of European tactics and the steamrollering globalistaion of the game, is it as enlightening and engaging as it was?
I think you do still get the interesting clash of cultures. The one thing that’s surprised me about this World Cup is that Uruguay aren’t as dirty as they usually are. South American teams – apart from Brazil and Argentina – have always been very technically sound but also very temperamental. Uruguay usually have a technically good side but also tend to go absolutely ballistic. You always know the Germans are going to be efficient, but they’ve come up with a bit of flair recently, which is a surprise.
It has become a bit of a cliché that there’s no easy game, but I think that’s correct. Even New Zealand had their night of celebration against the Italians. It’s incredible really.
England have good players but they didn’t look like they’ve played football before. And Wayne Rooney, the most natural talent this country has produced in years, looked like he had lead in his boots.
The World Cup is still exciting. Wall-to-wall coverage has turned it into something of a soap opera though I think, especially with regard to the England team. Everything’s analysed in such minute details, it’s become ridiculous.

If you could play one record in the changing room to the England lads before a World Cup final, what would you play?
I’d play New Order's World In Motion. You can’t get much better than that I don’t think.
Back Home was the 1970 England World Cup tune which began the tradition of England World Cup songs. [It reached #1 on the UK singles chart for three weeks in May 1970 – Ed]. Alan Ball and Jackie Charlton would be making statements in the middle of the B-side, it was Monty Python-esque.
In terms of motivation though, I would have to go for World In Motion – that can be played on any level as a football song. Sometimes me and The Farm’s guitarist go out and DJ, and that tune can be played anywhere even if there’s no football on.

Has John Barnes ruined it with that copycat Mars advert?
I quite like that! I think it has a quirkiness to it. Fair play to him.

He doesn’t have quite the same adidas trefoil jumper on though…
That he doesn't.

What’s the greatest terrace chant you’re ever heard?
Tommy Docherty once had an affair with the physiotherapist’s wife at Old Trafford and her name was Mary Brown. You can’t probably print this because it’s disgusting, but to the tune of “Knees Up Mother Brown” we sang: 

“Who's up Mary Brown?
Who's up Mary Brown?

Tommy Tommy Docherty, 

Tommy Tommy Docherty.”

Most good chants are cruel, aren’t they? A good professional footballer called Asa Hartford was diagnosed with a hole in his heart, so the Kop sang “There’s a hole in your heart, dear Asa” to the tune of “There a hole in my bucket, dear Liza”. Nowadays that would not be considered nasty at all, but in those days it was a vicious attack.

Are there any fans in this country or abroad that you believe rival Liverpool fans for humour and chants?
Every group of fans think they’re unqie but I think the nearest thing I’ve come to to Liverpool fans has to be Celtic fans. In the sense that they’ll take over the place but are not intent on abusing the locals, they're just there to have a good time. Who do you support?

The mighty, or not-quite-as-might-as we-have-been, Portsmouth.
You have had a rough time of it.

I am looking forward to the Championship and ridding the team of the mercernaries and showboaters.
I agree with you. There is a section of Liverpool fans that would prefer to go down to mid-table or even near the relegation zone just to sort the finances out.

Which club has the craziest fans in your opinion?
The most volatile fans I’ve ever come across are Roma fans personally.  I have never been to Argentina or to the Boca Juniors-River Plate derby, but that looks a bit tasty. You’ve just got to look at Maradona. When Boca Juniors play at home they’ve got 40,000 Maradonas jumping up in the stands, how good is that?
A ticket tout mate of mine met a load of Argentina supporters in 1998 at the World Cup and just said they were absolutely mad. But yeah, in terms of hostility, Roma fans.

Being the founder of The End fanzine, are there any modern equivalents that you’re into?
A lot of them have gone under. I think the internet’s killed a lot of them, hasn’t it? I did tend to buy fanzines when I went to away matches, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult to source them.
The best one currently is Boss in Liverpool. I’m not too sure if it’s still going but that was great. I haven’t seen it in a few months but I assume it’s still going. They’ve become a bit like The End, in only releasing five or six a season.
I also like, and this is unusual coming from a Liverpool fan, When Skies Are Grey, which is an Everton publication, and United We Stand, which is a Man Utd publication. I’d say they were both based on The End you see, which is the reason I’m saying it.
They both included a lot of music and I used to know the lads that wrote for them. And althought they appear to be vehemently anti-Liverpool in the mags, really most of them aren’t like that at all. They’re just intelligent football fans that do fanzines.

Top three players you’ve ever seen play [in the flesh].
Definitely John Barnes. Most Liverpool fans would put down Kenny Dalglish, but overall I tend to go for John Barnes. One, because I want to be different, but also beacuse between 1988 and 1991 I’ve never seen anything quite like him. He was outstanding. He didn’t even sprint past people, he walked. People say he lost his pace in the latter part of his career when he moved to central midfield, but even at his height he wouldn’t sprint past people he would just glide, effortlessly.
Ossie Ardiles when he was at Spurs was great. He never quite did it when he came to Anfield but he was a fantastic player.
And Lionel Messi. He’s not bad, is he?


Peter Hooton’s World Cup XI

1 Lev Yashin (USSR, GK)
“There’s not much television coverage of Yashin but it’s genrally agreed that he was the best goalkeeper of that egenration, I think even Gordon Banks arees with that. So it was a toss up between Banks and Yashin actualy but I went for Yashin because of his black kit. Superb.”

2 Carlos Alberto (Brazil, WB)
“You’ve just got to look at that goal he score din the 1970 final against Italy. He was absolutely class all-round and like a right-winger half the time.”

3 Roberto Carlos (Brazil, LB)
“I was going to go for Italy’s Paolo Maldini but have plumped for Robhert Carlos because of his free-kicks. This team would have that in our armoury. And with my midfield you wouldn’t need much defence…”

4 Franz Beckenbauer (West Germany, LB)
“Becuae of his effortless style. When we were kids we all wanted to be Beckenbauer. He invented the sweeper role, wore adidas boots which always looked good. Hje was got on the ground and in the air and read the game perfectly.

5 Bobby Moore (England, CB)
“He wasn’t graced with speed as we all know, but could read the game incredibly well. The timing of some of his tackles in 1966 and 1970 are just breathtaking.”

6 Michel Platini (France, DMC)
“I’d play Platini in the holding role. I know that’s not his natural position but he had everything: vision, he could link play, he could see passes. I don’t think he’d get in many World XIs but he gets in mine.”

7 Johan Cruyff (Holland, RM)
“I’d play him on the right, but like most of my players, he could play anywhere. He was the definition of Total Football. If he played as sweeper he would have been the best wsweeper in the world. If he played striker he’d be the best striker in the world. He had everything. Anyeon who invents a turn that’s later dubbed the “Cruyff turn” can’t be argued with”

8 Maradona (Argentina, LM)
“Single-handedly won Napoli the league and Argentina the World Cup. They just used to give him the ball and he would do the rest. To me he’s the best player in the world ever. You could kick Pele out of a game. You’d need a tank to get Maradona out of a game.”

9 Pele (Brazil, AMC)
“He would interact with Maradona behind the front two in my team and we’d take bets on how long it took the opposition to get the ball off them. I think Maradona had more determination than Pele but Pele still picks himself.”

10 Gerd Muller (West Germany, FC)
“As a poacher I don’t hink we’ll ever see a better player than Muller. In many ways Robbie Fowler had the same type of instincts but Muller did it on the world stage time and again. All you have to do is put the ball into his feet with his back to goal and there would be a good chane of scoring.”

11 Mario Kempes (Aregntina, FC)
“Because of ’78 really. Muller would static in the box and Kempes, with his flowing locks, would work the channels.”