ARSENAL 0 - 0 Manchester City
Seeing as the Arsenal players have given up on trying this season, I will give up on writing detailed match reports. Therefore in its stead, please see below a picture of some kittens.
Seriously – worst game of football I have ever seen with neither team trying, and the managers probably would have shaken hands on a 0-0 at half-time given the chance. I am writing to Arsenal’s CEO demanding that money be refunded to my season ticket price for next year.
Star Man: Sol Campbell and, shockingly, Mikael Silvestre both played very well and didn’t allow Tevez or Pantomime Villain Emmanuel Adebayor a kick for the entire game.
Worst Performer: Abou Diaby briefly showed signs of becoming a footballer once or twice this season. However, he has since been exposed for the lazy, tactically inept and footballingly deficient chancer that he really is. The guy is simply terrible. He misplaces passes all over the shop, makes Paul Scholes look like the best tackler in the world, and doesn’t fit in anywhere. The guy is not good enough and should be offered up with Denilson for human sacrifice or something.
Best moment: Emmanuel Adebayor’s appearance as a substitute was met with the howls of derision I have not heard since Ashley Cole’s first return to the Club. Every touch was greeted with boos, and it was quite funny by the end of it all. The crowning glory has to have been Robin van Persie’s retributive clip of the Togolese’s heels which sent him sprawling across the turf. Marvellous.
Tactics: We have only one way of playing. When it comes off, it is marvellous. When it doesn’t, the players are not intelligent enough to work out an alternative means of scoring. Save for the revolutionary method of ‘hump high balls into the box and see what happens’. Is it the players’ fault though? Or the manager’s? Ultimately, the blame must lie with Wenger; if for no other reason than he has total autonomy and nobody dares to question him or his methods. Even when they are patently failing.
Chant of the game: When Shay Given was receiving treatment for his dislocated shoulder, GreedyBarnDoor was leaning on the frame of the goal to which the entire North Bank greeted him with cries of “Who’s the Wanker on the post?”. He then slowly extricated himself from said post. Marvellous.
Oppo fans: There were absolutely bloody thousands of them, yet they didn’t make a peep until the very last minute when “Blue Moon” could be heard if you listened very, very carefully.
David Oudôt, http://www.onlinegooner.com and http://taxloser.blogspot.com
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ASTON VILLA 1 - Birmingham City 0
That is Aston Villa 1 - Birmingham City 0 just in case you were wondering!
The kerfuffle about the penalty, hogwash, it was a penalty, even Graham Poll has said so and that is that! Just look at the photos of the incident, a tackle from behind, it does not matter if he got the ball, he knocked the ball towards goal and Gabby was running on goal, the follow through brought the player down. Foul, penalty, Villa win - end of.
http://www.astonvilla.vitalfootball.co.uk/article.asp?a=7504283 Ladies & Gentlemen Of The Jury - PENALTY (Images)
The game? First half Villa shaded it and Joe Hart pulled off a world class save. The second half Blues more than edged it and had enough chances to beat us a few times over but Brad Friedel was more than a match to the shots and again, that is that, we have had plenty of games where we have played better than the opposition over to lose. Nowt else to say, it wasn't pretty but it was 3 points, we are still in the mix for the top four - albeit we need luck with Spuds and Citeh results.
Happy days! : o)
Star Man: Brad Friedel, I've already said that, weren't you listening?! In fact both keepers were totally outstanding.
Worst Performer: Alex McCleish... jeez, it was a penalty, get over it. If you'd not been awarded a similar decision you'd have been screaming blue murder!
Best Moment: To be honest, the final whistle, derby games are never pleasant until the result is in the bank and then you can celebrate - in this case for the 6th time!
Tactics: Local derby, don't be silly. All that matters is the win and we got that.
Oppo Fans: Showed great class giving the middle fingers and w***k*r signs to our young reserve team doing the lap of honour for winning the Southern League. Shocking really.
Jonathan Fear, http://www.astonvilla.vitalfootball.co.uk
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Aston Villa 1 - 0 BIRMINGHAM CITY
We were robbed. No other way of putting it. After an even first half we were all over them in the second and by far the better team. We were very unlucky not to score although some of that was due to the excellent Brad Friedel in their goal. Then of course we got hit on the break and while Johnson clearly got the ball the ref saw otherwise and handed Villa an undeserved victory. In case any Villa fans think they were the better team here’s some stats.
Attempts on target – Villa 6 Blues 14.
Number of people who thought it was a penalty – 1 (Martin O’Neill)
Not happy, not happy at all! Even Villa man Andy Gray agreed we didn't deserve to lose this game. But of course football isn't fair and in the end we paid for not taking our chances. We could have scored three in the first fifteen minutes of the first half and how brilliant would it have been if either of our ex-Villa players Gardner and Ridgewell had scored. Hopefully Villa will go on to to lose their fourth place decider against Man City next week, due to a dodgy penalty.
A special mention today goes to Stephen Carr who not only had a great game but also gestured “Wankers” at the Villa fans. Legend!
Star man: Quite a lot to choose from but I thought Roger Johnson was a rock at the back. Villa had to resort to bribing the ref to beat him.
Worst performer: The referee was not up to the job all game and capped it all by giving a “crowd penalty”.
Tactics: Excellent. Brought Larsson back to the midfield and played a formation that allowed him, Gardner and Bowyer to take it in turns to join the attack.
Moment of the match: Gardner's turn and volley which Friedel did very well to keep out.
Oppo fans: My mum always used to say that if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. So I'll say nothing.
Mike, www.joysandsorrows.co.uk
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Wolverhampton Wanderers 1 - 1 BLACKBURN
Drawing this game could cost the Rovers £1.5m. Another two points would have seen us move up another couple of places worth £750,000 each in the final analysis!
Rovers started with Kalinic and Roberts up front and with Basturk making his debut in midfield had Wolves on the back foot for most of the first period. Their only reward however, was skipper Ryan Nelsen’s clever finish from a Pedersen corner. Kalinic had already hit the post as Rovers overran Wolves.
The second half saw a tired Basturk, who had shown some good touches, replaced by David Dunn. Wolves had started to overrun Rovers’ midfield, so Sam took off Kalinic and replaced him with “Keef” Andrews on 56 minutes to revert to the trusted 4-5-1.
It seemed to do the trick. Rovers started hitting Wolves on the break but couldn’t add to the goal thanks to some poor finishing.
And guess what? After being solid for most of the game, the defence went walkabout to leave Ebanks-Blake all on his own to nod past Paul Robinson on 81 minutes.
A draw away from home in the Premier League isn’t too bad I suppose, but Wolves were there for the taking and with a little bit more quality and a touch of luck, Rovers would have cruised this one.
Star Man; Ryan Nelsen – solid at the back and scored the goal
Worst performer: Morten Gamst Pedersen – delivered a great corner for the goal but wasted a lot of free-kicks.
Best moment: The announcer at the end of the game saying “We are not safe yet” as the Wolves fans invaded the pitch!
Tactics: 3-5-2 to start which seem to confuse the Wolves players! After Wolves started getting on top in the second half, Sam changed to 4-5-1 bringing on Andrews for Kalinic.
Chant of the game: “We’re having a party when Burnley go down, we’re having a party when Burnley go down, We’re having a party when Burnley go down, we’re having a party when Burnley go down!!”
Oppo fans: Seemed to enjoy it but didn’t come to life until the final whistle
Pete Anslow, http://www.4000holes.co.uk
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BOLTON WANDERERS 2 - 2 Portsmouth
The boo's were back at Bolton after they threw away a 2-0 half time lead to draw 2-2 with bottom club Portsmouth on Saturday.
Wanderers were two-up inside 28 minutes thanks to goals from Ivan Klasnic and Kevin Davies, though it should have been more after Matt Taylor saw two early efforts well saved by David James.
Pompey pulled back after the break through Aruna Dindane, with both goals the subject of poor defending on our part. Zat Knight was to blame for the first and England hopeful Gary Cahill at fault for the equaliser.
Kevin Davies saw a header cleared off the line and another come back off the post in stoppage time, but after a terrible second half showing, Bolton didn't deserve the points and Pompey could go home with their heads held high.
Following Burnley's relegation on Sunday, Bolton are now safe for next season but Owen Coyle has a big summer ahead of him after another poor season at the Reebok Stadium.
Star man: Vladimir Weiss - Nothing spectacular from the on-loan Manchester City winger, but his skill to keep the ball in play before his run and cross for the second goal was outstanding.
Worst performer: Gary Cahill - He was at fault for the Pompey equaliser, trying to do too much when clearing the ball was much easier. Not been in the best of form since returning to the side and a World Cup call-up is looking in serious jepordy.
Tactics: The call for Ivan Klasnic to start was answered by Owen Coyle and the striker delivered by opening the scoring midway through the first half. He's a constant goal threat, not something seen often at Bolton, and with his loan spell set to end, most fans are praying he is signed up permanently.
Chant of the game: "Two-nil and you f'd it up" - Courtesy of the Pompey fans after getting themselves back into the game.
Oppo fans: They turned up in a taxi and were a little quiet at first but after pulling level at 2-2, they were celebrating like they'd won the cup. Top marks to the guys doing the conga and a bloke on the third row who danced all on his own for the final 20 minutes! Maybe he should try a different deodorant.
Best Moment: The Bolton fans pointing fun at David James after he let a throw from the ball boy slip through his hands before going through his legs. England are in safe hands going into the World Cup!
Chris Mann, http://www.burndenaces.co.uk/
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CHELSEA 7 – 0 Stoke
God we’re a boring team to watch.
I mean, neither of your frontmen on the scoresheet again? I think Ancelotti needs to have a word with Drogba and Anelka, and the 2 attackers need to pull their fingers out.
Of course it helps if the other guys behind you are bundling over each other to score goals.
Maybe the worst part of Stoke’s day was seeing Saloman Kalou score 3 of our 7. This is a guy who had only 1 league goal this season before the game, and whose song features the line “he don’t score much but we don’t care”. Incredible.
Although along with the hat trick Nico scored against Sunderland last season it was pretty straightforward for the Ivorian.
There were so many pluses on the day this piece could end up the same length as the London Marathon; Ashley Cole looking like he’d never been gone, Drogba turning into a world class playmaker (Messi would’ve been proud of his control for the first goal), Frank Lampard AGAIN showing his quality, young Sam Hutchinson bombing down the right, Joe Cole’s cameo, Danny Sturridge’s first league goal.
Lists are a sign of bad journalism but on this performance things like that go out the window.
So after all that we’re back on top, but with a trip to Anfield to come. Chelsea have a horrible knack of finding Liverpool stood between them and possible glory, but let's hope Ancelotti and co get it right next weekend.
It’s a simple situation for us now, win our last 3 games and we win the Double, of course this season has been so up and down I’m starting to know what it feels like to support West Brom.
The last week being the perfect example of this; most Chelsea fans walked away from the Bridge wondering how this could be the same side that didn’t turn up at 3 Point Lane last week.
We need to avoid any such Jekyll and Hyde stuff on Merseyside, and if we do and get a vital win, that should be that in the title race.
All do respect to Wigan but if we hurdle Liverpool then nothing should stop John Terry getting his hands back on the Premier League trophy.
Yes United have got the easier run-in and possibly the momentum because of our slip at Spurs, but the thrashing of Stoke has helped to wash away those doubts.
There’s still plenty of belief around SW6, and maybe we can put an end to this red domination in England, and make blue the powerhouse again. Bit David Cameron that sentence…
Anyway, no matter what happens it’s been a great season for Chelsea, we will finish it with a trophy in the shape of the FA Cup, and fingers crossed our 4th league title, becoming only the 7th side to do the Double. 7, I do like that number.
Star Men: Sneaky swap of an ‘a’ for an ‘e’ to make sure this goes to more than one player. Drogba was fantastic, Lampard of course, and Kalou showing some killer instinct. Mention to Ash on his return from injury as well.
Worst Performer: Petr Cech for the simple reason he had nothing to do, so he can’t score more than a 6 out of 10.
Best Moment: Cor, no idea. Ironically Malouda’s open goal miss was hilarious. I also enjoyed Sturridge getting his first league goal in blue. Not sure about the shape making afterwards though
Oppo Fans: probably regret trekking to London on Marathon day to see their side ship 7. In fact that’d probably rather run in the bloody thing.
Martyn Landi, www.cfcnet.co.uk
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EVERTON 2 - 1 Fulham
Well we left that one late....even later than last week!
The outcome was the same though, three points to the Blues and we're still just agonisingly off the European pace.
But to salvage something, anything, out of a season that saw us on the cusp of the relegation places in November is testament to the great sqaud that David Moyes has managed to assemble at Everton.
Roy Hodgson - who's face now appears to start somewhere in his neck - has done a similarly remarkable job at Fulham, taking them from relegation certs to potential European finalists in just two years.
And, though he made nine changes to the side that drew in Hamburg on Thursday night, he will feel that his side's good run should have continued by taking at least a point from Goodison.
The West Londoners took a surprise lead in the 36th minute when Erik Nevland latched on to a dreadful backpass from Leighton Baines and smartly dinked the ball over the outrushing Tim Howard before wheeling away in celebration towards the 30-odd Fulham fans in the Bullens Road.
Seriously, how is it that Fulham can take half of the entire borough away to Germany, twice, yet can never muster up any sort of a following for league games?
Do Fulham away matches clash with Harlequins, or Quins if you must, home games?
Anyway, their travelling troupe should've been sent into raptures, or at least loads of polite applause, on the stroke of half time when Stefano Chuka Okaka - a player who deserves to be given his full title all of the time - cleverly chipped the ball over the Everton defence and into the path of the unmarked Clint Dempsey.
But instead of ripping apart the Park End net Dempsey fired his volley high and wide to let the Blues off the hook.
Although the Blues had hardly looked at their world-beating best during the first half they had hardly given Fulham a sniff of the ball and were unlucky to be one nil down at the interval.
Victor Anichebe came on for Diniyar Bilyaletdinov at the start of the second half after the Russin had failed to impress once again, apart from a sweet volley that struck the post in the third minutes, and the young Nigerian certainly instilled some urgency into the Blues play.
He also had a hand in Everton's equaliser just four minutes into the second half as he threw his head towards an Arteta cross, and Yakubu's foot as he tried to scissor kick the same ball, only to see it bonce off Chris Smalling's head and dribble past Mark Scwarzer and over the line.
Everton nearly took the lead just minutes later as Tim Cahill powered a header goalwards but Mark Scwarzer did well to beat the ball away.
The Blues then carried on where they had left off in the first half and played Fulham off the park but, once again, it was the Londoners that created the better chances as Erik Nevland played in Stefano Chuka Okaka, see, who was unmarked on the edge of the Everton area.
The big Italian had time to stop the ball and compose himself but instead he hit a tame first time shot that Howard easily smothered.
Louis Saha, on for Phil Neville, then had a couple of good chances to win the game for the Blues, nonemoreso than the header he directed into the side netting after rising to meet a wonderful cross from Baines, but the game looked destined to finish honours even.
But...and how many late goals have there been in Everton games this season? Well, there's been loads in the last few weeks alone...the game was turned on its head in the final minute of stoppage time.
Tony Hibbert headed a Fulham clearance back into the area, Saha flicked it on again and as Tim Cahill chested the ball down Chris Baird - who must have a sideline as a look-a-like of Gareth Keenan - volleyed the Australian in the ribs and it was a penalty to the Blues.
Mikel Arteta - who does actually have balls made from solid steel - stepped up to do the honours, send Schwarzer the wrong way and bag the three points for the Blues.
Get in!
Star Man: Mikel Arteta - has pulled more strings than a classical harpist this season and was on hand to run the show again and score another crucial goal.
Worst performer: Phil Neville - never really looked comfortable in the middle of midfield and was rightly taken off when Tony Hibbert, who had another good game, is normally sacrificed in such instances.
Tactics: Moyes was once again derided for playing one up front at home but it's either make use of Tim Cahill in this system or have hime stifled in the middle of the park. Considering he's currently out in-form striker - in fact I'd swear he's changed his name to Johnny-on-the-spot these last few weeks - I'd play this system just to accomodate him.
Away Fans: Not many of them!
Moment of the match: Arteta tucking away the spot kick!
Chant of the match: Sunday afternoon... Fulham... as if there was going to be any singing!
Les Roberts, www.everton-mad.co.uk
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MANCHESTER UNITED 3 - 1 Tottenham Hotspur
Patrice Evra was once, twice, three times violently sick on the Old Trafford turf but Harry Redknapp’s Tottenham Hotpsur left Manchester forced to stomach the pain of defeat. Evra’s all too literal contribution to a gutsy 3-1 Manchester United victory sent Sir Alex that Ferguson’s kept the Reds in the race with just two games remaining.
The French fullback may have left everything on the pitch in pursuit of the points but Ferguson’s side overcame even greater obstacles at Old Trafford to heap pressure on Chelsea in the Premier League title race, with the Londoners not playing until tomorrow.
Missing both Wayne Rooney – absent with a groin injury that is likely to keep the striker on the sidelines for the remaining matches of the campaign – and Rio Ferdinand, Ferguson could be forgiven for feeling as anxious as the Old Trafford crowd after the visitors’ second half equaliser.
Long before Ryan Giggs’ brace of coolly taken penalties and Nani’s exquisite goal sealed United’s victory, the visiting side threatened to spoil Ferguson’s chase for honours.
Such is the increase in Spurs’ star this season that the visitors’ limp performance surprised many in the crowd, not least the Londoners’ manager.
In truth a tepid first half rarely saw the best of either side, with neither United nor Harry Redknapp’s Champions League chasing outfit able to stamp their mark on the encounter.
Ferguson chose to pack his midfield, no doubt aware of Luka Modric’s contribution to Spurs renaissance this season. But with Rooney absent, Dimitar Berbatov ploughed an often frustrating lone furrow in an opening period short on excitement but high on tension.
Not until the half-hour did United seriously threaten Heurelho Gomes’ net, with Berbatov finding time and space to strike a dipping volley just wide of the Brazilian’s goal. Even so, Old Trafford reserved the biggest cheer of a low-key half for Owen Hargreaves, who joined United’s bench despite sitting out two days of training this week. The injury-plagued midfielder has missed the past 18 months following surgery to both knees.
Minutes into the second period and the spring heat-wave that descended on Old Trafford claimed its first victim, with Evra violently sick. United’s most consistent defender this season remained on the pitch long-enough to play a key role in the opening goal, fouled by Benoit Assou-Ekotto. Giggs’ penalty beat the ‘keeper’s dive to, albeit briefly, relieve the tension in M16.
The goal should have liberated the home side. Instead, with Valencia sacrificed for Michael Carrick, United sat back on the lead and invited the visitors forward.
As Ferguson’s outfit dropped deeper Spurs pressed on, winning the corner from which King headed home the visitors’ goal.
For a quarter-hour the match could have fallen either way but Ferguson’s gamble, introducing teenage striker Federico Macheda for Rafael da Silva, paid hefty dividends.
The Italian’s pass found Nani, who wonderfully chipped Gomes to finally break Spurs’ resistance.
Minutes later and the Portuguese winger’s charge into the box drew a second foul – this time from Wilson Palacios – and referee Andre Marriner had little option but to award a second spot-kick of the afternoon.
Giggs fired home. Incredibly these were the Welshman’s first penalties in the Premier League for the club.
Now Ferguson and the crowd could finally relax.
Star man: Nani is rapidly maturing into one of United’s leading match-winners, contributing a superbly taken goal and a the run which forced the second penalty.
Worst performer: Paul Scholes was quiet today after his match-winning performance in the Manchester derby.
Best moment: Macheda’s smart ball for Nani and the Portuguese winger’s brilliant finish.
Tactics: Leaving Berbatov up-front on his own has often been a recipe for disaster but Giggs kept close enough to ensure the Bulgarian had support.
Chant of the game: We are top of the league, we are top of the league… well at least for a day.
Oppo fans: Vocal and well drilled travelling fans. But why didn’t they sell out their allocation?
Ed Barker, www.unitedrant.co.uk
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Bolton 2 - 2 POMPEY
Pompey may be all over as far as the Premiership is concerned, but with the Cup final to look forward to, the players kept fighting on the pitch with a comeback that would have elated us a few weeks back.
Pompey could start with Dindane for the first time since the semi-final, he was to prove pivotal later, Sowah got another run-out at left-back and is starting to settle in, while Utaka got another chance up front with Tommy Smith completing an attacking line-up.
Pompey were under the cosh early on, Taylor forcing a fine save from James with a header, and then Klasnic doing likewise with a turn and shot. After this early pressure John Utaka decided to let fly, his strike from the edge of the area forcing Jaaskelainen into his first meaningful action.
Pompey were just starting to gain the initiative when it all went horribly wrong in 5 minutes, first the on-loan Jack Wilshere crossed for Klasnic to head home and then Weiss made a great run down the right and left Davies with a tap-in, Pompey appealed for off-side but the goal stood.
Smith decided to try and return the medicine at the other end, but his shot struck the post and not net.
Sowah was getting a firm test from the livewire Weiss, but he was sticking to his task and making a few good blocks.
The half ended and Pompey looked they might of given up the ghost, but Avram decided to go for it by replacing Yebda with Piquionne, a move that would seem inspired in a short while.
On 55 minutes Dindane played Piquionne in out wide, his centre found the Ivorian once more and he placed/scuffed his shot into the bottom corner, game on.
Piquionne nearly brought us level minutes later, but this time Jaaskelainen saved from his header from a Vanden Borre centre.
Smith had time to smuggle a Davies header away from a post and the Dindane completed the comeback, Utaka robbed Cahill of possession and squared for Dindane to tap home, parity was restored.
With 25 minutes to go, both teams fancied a win bonus, Piquionne threatened once more and Davies and Elmander tried to beat James, the score was to stay level however, Davies' injury time strike against a post the close as it came.
Pompey were showing once more that the fire is still there in the belly.
(MATCH REPORT WRITTEN BY PAULTSMOUTH.)
Star man: I would have to say Aruna Dindane to be fair. He was up for it, he wanted the ball and made things happen - 2 goals also helped his case, although I think a mention has to go to Anthony Vanden Borre, who had a fine 1st half and decent 2nd.
Worst performer: Hassan Yebda was off the pace, and his removal at half time made a difference.
Best moment: I enjoyed the whole thing but to see the 2nd goal go in to come back from 2-0 down to draw 2-2 was special, although the ovation and support we got from the Bolton fans at the end was quality ˆ some even waited outside our exit to applaud us and shake our hands as we left!
Tactics: Many are often critic of Avram Grant for his tactical moves, I have myself at times questioned this to be fair, but whatever he said at half time worked and the change with Freddy P coming on for Hassan Yebda also worked a treat.
Chant of the game: Some 200 or so of us were fantastic all game long but, and to the tune of Macarena, the 'who needs a Messi when you've got a Mokoena' chant was genius.
Oppo fans: There have been some quiet grounds this season but the Rebook must be up their with the quietest. Apart from when they scored – aided by the tannoy system – and a 'minor' bust before the kick-off they were silent pretty much all the way through.
PLAY UP POMPEY!
Rug, www.portsmouth.vitalfootball.co.uk
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