*CLICK HERE TO SEE THE TOP TEN ENGLISHMEN NEVER TO PLAY FOR ENGLAND*
CARLTON PALMER (midfield): 18 caps
When Graham Taylor was throwing England caps around like confetti, he took a big shine to this lumbering midfield workhouse. Ex-Saints manager reportedly summed up his play perfectly: "He covers every blade of grass out there," he said. "But that's because his first touch is so crap." His internationl career highlight was giving Jimmy Hill some lip during a live telly interview as opposed to anything worthwhile on the pitch.
STUART RIPLEY (winger): 2 caps
Back in the '90s, the phrase 'problem left side' was the butt boil of England's national side. Blackburn's one-dimensional winger was definitely not its answer. And his haircut wasn't as good as Tony Daley's, so we can't excuse him on that front, either.
STEVE GUPPY (winger): 1 cap
If Ripley wasn't the answer to that left-sided dilemma, Leicester's 'flying' winger was the footballing equivalent of the mathematical cock-up: 2 + 2 = 3,347.2
GEOFF THOMAS (midfield): 9 caps
Widely compared to a golf wedge, Geoff 'the hoof' Thomas capitalised on Crystal Palace's surprise season in the top three of England's elite. Sadly, his international career disappeared when, put clean through during a Wembley friendly against France, he 'calmly' spooned the ball into a parking lot in Gibraltar.
FRANCIS JEFFERS (striker): 1 cap
Greatest things to come from Liverpool? The Beatles, Albert Docks…. and Franny Jeffers? The jug-eared beanpole pulled on the famous Three Lions jersey just the once, in a friendly against Australia at Upton Park. Amazingly, he was the sole goalscorer that night to make it a less embarrassing 3-1 defeat, but his career soon sunk into the relative anonymity of Sheffield Wednesday's bench - and headbutting Port Vale players. He's still only 29.
DAVID NUGENT (striker): 1 cap
Nugent is another of those 'illustrious' stars to boast a perfect international scoring record, except his net buster came from two-inches out against the mighty Andorra. After bombing at Premiership level, Nugent hasn't played for the national team since, but he does hold the accolade of being the last England cap from outside the top flight since Michael Gray of Sunderland in 1999.
MICHAEL RICKETTS (striker): 1 cap
Originally a promising goal-getter, Ricketts literally transformed overnight from a prolific(ish) young frontman to a broken Subbuteo figure that Frank Lampard Jr. had rolled onto. A big bust up with his then Bolton manager Sam Allardyce possibly sparked his gradual decline, which included failed stints at Leeds and Boro. His sole 45-mins for England came against Holland.
GARY CHARLES (right-back): 2 caps
A slightly promising career at Forest and Derby County deteriorated into a tragic booze-fuelled blur of abandoned cars and, as soon as he'd retired, cutting off his electronic tags so the coppers couldn't keep tabs on him. If you're an unkind bastard you could say he has a jail sentence for every one of his England caps.
MARK BARHAM (winger): 2 caps
'Mark who?'. Our point exactly. A Norwich City right-winger, he won two caps for England in 1983 on a tour to Australia. We're assured by a football expert that he really wasn't very good at all. We wouldn't know.
LEE HENDRIE (winger): 1 cap
The grinning 'Bisto Kid' probably had one of the shortest England careers of them all, managing a sad 13-minutes as a sub against Czech Republic in 1998. Despite being in his 'prime', the little 'un's stock has fallen so much that he's currently on loan at Brighton from Derby County. Late charge for a place in South Africa? No thanks, 13-minutes was plenty, cheers Lee.
RECKON WE MISSED SOMEONE OUT? SURE, JUST CHECK OUT THIS LIST OF ENGLAND 'STARS' WITH CAPS...
Anthony Gardner (1 cap)
Zat Knight (2 caps)
Gavin McCann (1 cap)
David White (1 cap)
John Fashanu (2 caps)
Jason Wilcox (3 caps)
Luther Blissett (14 caps)
Paul Konchesky (2 caps)
Andy Sinton (12 caps)
Alan Thompson (1 cap)
Michael Ball (1 cap)
Michael Gray (3 caps)
Andy Gray (1 cap)
Barry Venison (2 caps)
Seth Johnson (1 cap)
*CLICK HERE TO SEE THE TOP TEN ENGLISHMEN NEVER TO PLAY FOR ENGLAND*
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