Osman managed to run into the penalty area unnoticed and rush unchallenged despite being 5'6' tall in his Cuban heels.. 
ARSENAL 2 v 2 Everton
With Chelsea's game against Hull being postponed
beause of the weather, this became our game in hand on them and it was
essential that we got three points so as to keep up the pressure on Ancelotti's
men. Sadly, a mixture of the conditions, our players' attitude and
ineptitude, a gutsy and spirited performance by Everton and our
ever-lengthening injury list meant that three points became one. Owed to
two deflected goals. Not a great day.
It was freezing brass monkeys at the Emirates on
Saturday (incidentally, that expression has nothing to do with primates nor
their testicles, but derives from the stacking of cannon balls on galleons),
with snow settling in the Clock End penalty area, and icicles hanging from my
nose. Although I paid over £1,000 for my season ticket and attended
voluntarily - the Arsenal players, however, are paid (handsomely) to turn up
and play the game and their attitude was largely appalling. They clearly
didn't fancy it, and the display was proof of that as we failed to get behind
the Everton defence until well into the second half. We were lazy,
shitting out of challenges, passing to the opposition with alarming regularity
and I am sure that the weedier of the little boys masquerading as footballers
were clock-watching.
The game itself was slow throughout, with little to
no atmosphere and the match being played at a snail's pace. Everton drew
first blood when a wonderful outswinging Landon Donovan corner was met with a bullet
header by the onrushing Leon Osman who planted a bullet header into the net
despite the best 'efforts' of the Spanish waiter in goal and the little boy
lost who goes by the name Denilson (which appears to be the Portuguese name for
'cowardly child who can't pass forwards, doesn't like tackling, yet
mysteriously is the first name on the team sheet'). The goal worried
Gooners everywhere for so many reasons. Such as how Osman managed to run
into the penalty area unnoticed and rush unchallenged despite being 5'6"
tall in his Cuban heels... how Manuel Almunia managed to be out of
position and failed to dive or make any effort to keep the ball out even though
it passed him and into the net no more than a yard and a half away from him. See below for further discussion on this hapless buffon.
Arsenal were hardly spurred into action despite
being a goal down, though, and it was a bit of penalty box pinball that got us
level, with Denilson's 25 yard pee-roller deflected past Tim Howard by Leon
Osman. What then ensued was an hour of apathy, with Arsenal not forcing
Tim Howard into anything resembling a save, and Everton looked the likely
scorers with the impressive Donovan and Cahill repeatedly getting behind the
Arsenal defence and creating opportunities and it was only some quality
last-ditch defending by Gallas, Vermaelen and Sagna at various intervals that
kept the scores level.
Even they could do nothing about Everton's second
goal, though, and some kamikaze Arsenal defending saw Pienaar one-on-one with
the Spanish waiter and it was a case of 'who blinks first' that would surely
decide the victor. Needless to say Manuel was the blinker. I have
heard of teams 'lying down' for the opposition as a figure of speech, but
Almunia literally went to ground a good second or two before Pienaar decided to
dink the ball over him and make the score 1-2.
At that point we actually rolled our sleeves up and
put some hard yards in, and after a degree of pressure that saw a Tommy shot
blocked, it was the effervescent and much-improved Abou Diaby who finally
fashioned a clear cut opportunity, cahrging through the midfield and sliding an
inch-perfect ball through to Rosicky who hammered the ball into the roof of the
net via the simply gargantuan arse of Lucas Neill. 2-2 but scarecely
deserved.
Bolton next week (and maybe the following Wednesday
too), and we really need to get back on the winning trail. The squad
looks woefully thin at the moment with Andrey Arshavin given a thankless task
of playing as the lone striker despite being ill-suited to the role, and
Denilson's positional indiscipline and sheer lack of quality in no way adequate
to replace Alex Song whilst he is at the ACN. The money is there, Arsene,
so please spend it.
Star man: Nobody really shone, but Abou Diaby and Samir Nasri were bright-ish
lights in an otherwise dark performance. They at least tried to fashion
chances, although the lack of willing and class from their team-mates meant
their efforts went largely unrewarded.
Worst performer: Denilson is no good and is not good enough to play for
Arsenal. It is unclear as to what his actual role is. He seems to
have been brought up playing rugby as he fails or refuses to pass the ball
forwards - therefore his role simply cannot be as an attacking midfielder.
However, he is slightly built and pussies out of tackles left, right and centre
and therefore cannot be a defeensive midfield player. So what exactly does
he do? And don't get me started on the goalkeeper who is increasingly
erratic and whose colleagues have lost all confidence they may have once had in
him. He has no spatial awareness, has a habit of conceding the
first shot on target every game and never makes any saves. His positional
sense is questionable, distribution criminal on the border of cheating, and his
decision-making is Bush League. He was best epitomised by a moment
towards the end of the match when he failed to communicate with Armand Traore
at all and came out of his box like a madman, and after Traore had cleared the
ball, Manuel proceeded to launch Arman 8 foot in the air. I cannot think
of a worse goalkeeper in the League than this man and he must be replaced.
Best moment: Getting home after the game to a flat that had the heating on all
day. Wonderful.
Tactics: Why send in head-high crosses when your front line is all
under 5'6" tall? Why play your best creative player as the lone
centre forward, requiring him to hold the ball up? Why play a goalkeeper
who nobody on the pitch rates? Why play a pussy as your hard man? This squad is not as good as Arsene thinks it is, regardless of its position
in the table.
Chant of the game: Not so much a chance, but the Arsenal fans have cottoned on
the Club's Pravda-like attendance announcements. Depsite the fact there
are clearly a few thousand empty seats, the official attendance is always
60,000+. 'Attendance' is defined as 'the number of people who go to an
event, meeting, etc.' so we are again being lied to by the Club. *sigh*.
Oppo fans: Cheeky Bastards took over the cafe I normally eat in before the
game. Gits.
David Oudôt, http://www.onlinegooner.com
and http://taxloser.blogspot.com
----------------------------------------
BIRMINGHAM CITY 1 v 1 Manchester United
In a weekend when football went soft and postponed
games due to a bit of ice on the pavement somewhere outside the ground it was a
minor miracle that this game happened at all. It says a lot about the toughness of Midlands folk that of
the few games going ahead three were in the Birmingham area. Goes to show that not even the weather
can stop the march of the Blue Army.
The game was a strange one in that we were poor in
the first half and scored but much better in the second half when they
did. Man Utd were well off the
pace and to be honest they do seem to have lost the fear factor this season. Rooney aside I didn't see much threat
coming from them. In fact it took
one of our players to score a goal for them. A goal that is which was originally ruled out by a linesman
who didn't know the rules of the game.
It was the right decision in the end but was it necessary to get our
hopes up like that. Even with an
extra six minutes of “Fergie” time they couldn't find a way to trouble Joe Hart
more than once. After Fletcher was
sent off (Mostly just for being annoying) we looked the team more likely to win
it.
Another great result and that stretches our
unbeaten run to twelve which is a club record. They are even saying nice things about us on Match of the
Day now. Where will it all end??
Worth risking freezing to death for.
Star man: Difficult to pick one as
it wasn't a great performance but Roger Johnson did put in a number of good
blocks to keep us in it during the first half.
Worst performer: Chucho Benitez had a couple of shots late on but gave the ball
away too often and refused to pass when he could have put Jerome in.
Best moment: Thinking that the
United goal was going to be disallowed.
Worst moment was when it wasn't.
Honourable mention to the moment when Wayne Rooney fell flat on his face
chasing a ball.
Tactics: Same as every week. Keep working.
Top Chant: “We are invincible, We are invincible!”
on the final whistle.
Oppo fans: Lots of them of course, but fortunately I
was at the other end so didn't have to listen to their inane drivel. Particularly thick were the ones who
wouldn't give the ball back after it went out for a goal kick. Not the brightest in the land.
Mike, www.joysandsorrows.co.uk
----------------------------------------
Arsenal 2 v 2 EVERTON
There were only two Premier League matches that
went ahead on Saturday... and we were still last on Match of the Day!
But the highlights were worth waiting for as this
was an extraordinary match at the Emirates.
And Everton defied everyone, even most Evertonians,
by out-playing and outfighting an Arsenal team that have only dropped points
once at home all season.
That was when Chelsea webbed them three-nil and
this really should have been the Gunners second home defeat of the season.
They flew out of the traps and attacked Arsenal
from the first whistle - not something usually associated with David Moyes'
teams in such encounters - and had the ball in the back of the net after just
seven minutes.
But, five minutes later, Everton were deservedly
one-nil up thanks to another headed effort.
Landon Donvan, who had an outstanding debut,
whipped a corner into the middle of the area and Leon Osman 'did a Cahill' and
powered a header past Manuel Almunia in the Arsenal goal.
Despite the euphoria of going ahead no-one really
expected the lead to last - every silver lining has a cloud and all that - and
so it proved as Arsenal equalised 15 minutes later with a horribly deflected
goal.
Arsenal had been pressing Everton since the goal
but Tim Howard hadn't really been troubled thanks to some great defending from
the Everton backline.
But, on 28 minutes, the Blues just couldn't clear
there lines and some smart play from Eduardo teed up the ball for Denilson to
level the scores.
The Brazilian's shot was pretty awful and Tim
Howard easily had it covered - that's if the thing was even on target - but the
ball clipped Leon Osman's heel on the way towards goal and completely
wrong-footed the 'keeper.
Arse! Indeed....
But, far from the Arsenal onslaught we then
expected, Everton immediately went back on the attack and were unlucky not to
re-take the lead from a Tim Cahill header.
Phil Neville lofted the ball towards the box and,
with Almunia flapping about on the edge of the six-yard-box, Cahill steered a
header goalwards only to see it cleared off the line by the tight-faced Thomas
Vermaelen.
Before the half was over Eduardo had his obligatory
penalty appeal turned down as the referee rightly saw that Marouane Fellaini
had not touched the Arsenal hitman as he dispossessed him just inside the area.
Everton kicked off the second half in blizzard
conditions but there was no sign of an orange casey getting thrown into play as
the players persevered with the yellow 'winter ball'.
Arsenal setteld into the second half a lot quicker
than the first but, despite seeing a lot of the ball, they seemd content to
just pass the thing around without getting forward too much, which suited us
fine!
Everton were closing down well, playing like the
side that we know they are and were starting to cause Arsenal problems again as
Leon Osman steered a free header just wide, Landon Donovan almost cleverly
picked out Steven Pienaar on the edge of the six-yard-box and Louis Saha saw a
good effort defelcted wide for what seemed to be Everton's 53rd corner of the
game.
There was always the nagging feeling that Arsenal
could up their game at any time though and take us to the cleaners - that's the
sort of paranoia you develop after seeing the same team dismantle you 1-6 at
home - but, without Cesc Fabregas, this Arsenal side just didn't have the same
cutting edge.
And, without Joleon Lescott - of course the 1-6
defeat was his fault - Everton were a totally different proposition form that
opening day defeat.
But then, on 82 minutes, Steven Pienaar scored with
the best lob since the end of Boogie Nights.
Tim Cahill picked up the ball just inside the
Everton area and twisted his way through a crowd of Arsenal players to thread a
delightful ball through to Pienaar who had given himself a clear run at goal.
It was the sort of chance that, when missed, the
excuse is that the player had too much time to think about what to do with the
ball, but not Pienaar.
The little South African sorcerer must've been
running towards goal thinking: "To his left? Nah! To his right? Nope!
Shall I just twat it? Nah, fuck it, I'll do this..." at which point he
clipped the most delightful chip about an inch over Almunia's hand and then
left the Arsenal players to do some desperate chasing back as the ball bounced
over the line in slow motion.
Fuck me it was like watching Pat Nevin! Or Wayne
Clarke!
Arsenal fell apart at this point and, as Arsene
Wenger honestly observed after the game, 3-1 was looking the more likely
result!
James Vaughan was presented with an almost
identical chance to Pienaar to sew the game up but he went for the twat it
option and Almunia saved with his legs.
Everton continued to press for a third and won a
succession fo free kicks and corners but it was Arsenal who were to have the
last say on the match.
Five minutes injury time was signalled, mainly due
to Arsenal players dropping like flies - special mention to Denilson who,
probably in bad taste after the Togo team bus incident, fell over like he'd
been shot in the stomach - and it was the Gunners that used it to tie the
match.
The ball was played to Thomas Rosicky just inside
the Everton area but, again, his shot appeared to be covered by Tim Howard
until Lucas Neill made a desperate lunge that did nothing but deflect te ball
into the roof of the net!
Arse! Again...!
But things are definitely looking up for the Blues
and if we keep on putting in performances like this one we'll motor on up the
table.
Everton aren't quite back but we're getting there!
Man of the Match: Steven Pienaar - Marouane
Fellaini probably had a slightly better match than the South African but that
goal was a thing of beauty!
Worst player: None, there were 11 blue Brazilians
out there!
Moment of the Match: Steven Pienaar's goal - I
could bore you all day with it it was that good! And it just edged out
Denilson's 'grassy-knoll' moment.
Fans: They cram a lot of them in there don't they?!
Chant of the Match: Everton are back!
Les Roberts, www.everton-mad.co.uk
----------------------------------------
Birmingham 1 v 1 MANCHESTER UNITED
Manchester United missed the chance to retake the
Premier League lead as Sir Alex Ferguson's men were held 1-1 at in-form
Birmingham City. But United, seeking redemption after last weekend's
humiliating FA Cup third round defeat to Leeds United, left St. Andrew's
indebted to a controversial equaliser in the second city.
Ferguson declared himself satisfied with a point, although the Scot will know
that this is not the stuff of Premier League titles. Grateful for small
mercies, United's manager was happy to take anything back to Manchester after
Alex McCleish's side pushed the Reds to the limit.
United started brightly though, dominating possession through the middle of the
park with a three-man central trio of Paul Scholes in the holding role,
supported by erstwhile defenders Darren Fletcher and Michael Carrick.
Indeed, it was United's Scottish enforcer Fletcher who created the first chance
as United monopolised the opening passages of the match. Then Joe Hart, by far
the busier of the two 'keepers for the opening half-hour, saved superbly from
Wayne Rooney. Set clear by the lively Antonio Valencia, United's leading
marksman could not convert in a key moment.
Then chances came for Carrick and Ji-Sung Park in quick succession as the home
side defended both desperately and gallantly at times.
But Birmingham aren't on a 13-match unbeaten streak under Ferguson protegé
McCleish without a little of the master's character. Arriving completely
against the run-of-play, Cameron Jerome beat Tomasz Kuszczak just moments
before the half-time break as Birmingham scored with the home side's first
chance in the game. Ferguson's men defended poorly from the home side's corner,
enabling striker Jerome to poke home from yards out.
The goal lifted the home side, who began the second half with intent. Indeed,
the outstanding Christian Benitez forced a save from Kuszczak before Jerome wasted
another good opportunity.
United, leveling on the hour, was controversially back in the match as referee
Mark Clattenburg overruled his assistant's offside flag. Desperate Birmingham
defenders blocked Rooney and then Scholes' efforts before Scott Dann turned
Evra's shot across the box into his own net.
Birmingham protested but Clattenburg got the decision spot-on with the home
side's defender touching the ball into his own net, therefore eliminating the
possibility of offside.
Birmingham and the visitors traded chances, with Evra and Rooney testing Hart
in the home goal, while Paul Scholes shot narrowly over before the game ended
in more controversy. United's midfielder enforcer Darren Fletcher saw red for a
second bookable offence late in the match.
And while the Scot has every right to bemoan the dismissal, perhaps one of the
more poignant decisions of the afternoon came in attack where United's
Senegalese striker Mame Biram Diouf made his debut as a late substitute.
Dimitar Berbatov, not selected in the matchday squad traveling to Birmingham,
may yet regret his ambivalent performance against Leeds United last week.
Yet for all Birmingham's good recent form it says something for how far
United's star has fallen in recent months that Ferguson should choose his
'European' five-man midfield for an away fixture against one of the Premier League's
less fashionable sides.
Ferguson's team in its pomp expects to win in Birmingham. On Saturday, the team
arrived hoping not to lose.
Ed Barker, www.unitedrant.co.uk
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