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ARSENAL 3 - 0 Tottenham
Since last week's two shoddy defensive performances against Az Admiral Ackbar and West Ham, which culminated in Arsene Wenger banning his players from owning dogs, such is there inability to hold onto a lead (BA DM TSH!), this week has been a lot better. I'm getting into my sixth week of the Doris and all is going rather well, the kids beat Liverpool in the League Cup in the most thrilling football match I have seen so far this season, and to cap it all off we whomp the Spuds 3-0 and it could have been five or six such was our dominance and their ineptitude.
Aside from the shitty kick off time (Thanks for making me get up at 9am on a Saturday, Sky. No, really), Saturday was a great day. The breakfast in the cafe tasted better than usual, the weater held off, and the atmosphere in the ground was rocking - so much so that Arsene put his jacket-throwing exploits (more on those later) down to the fact that the players couldn't hear his instructions over the crowd!
Anyway - the game. Despite our overall dominance for the majority of the 90 minutes, we actually started rather tentatively, with a fair few passes going astray, and the recalled Manuel Almunia passing to the opposition so often I thought he was a spy. Mark Clattenburg also decided to see how many Tottenham players he would let get away with blue murder, with the weasel-faced shit burger that is David Bentley getting away with a deliberate handball and a nasty lunge on Thomas Vermaelen without so much as a booking and the pig-awful and fucking ugly Benoit Assou-Ekotto kicking players, and then kicking the ball away - also without caution. However, the first real chance came our way when an Andrey Arshavin run and shot was deflected into the path of an on-rushing Cesc Fabregas who saw his goalbound sidefooter turned away by a brilliant Heurelho Gomes save.
Other chances then came and went with Robin van Persie wasting a decent opening, and Nicklas Bendtner and Andrey Arshavin having token pot-shots from range. Three minutes to half-time, all is decent but no goals and we were getting ourselves ready for an interesting second half. Thankfully, however, the worm turned incredibly quickly and we found ourselves two up in the space of 45 seconds. Firstly, Robin van Persie crept in ahead of Ledley King at the near post after a decent ball in from the slowly improving Bacary Sagna (King is so slow nowadays, what with his plastic knees, I almost feel sorry for him. Almost. Playing for Spurs and being photographed falling out of 'Faces' regularly kind of puts me off, by and large) and poked a shot past Gomes, and Tottenham kindly helped us out straight from kick off by giving us the ball back and letting Cesc Fabregas waltz through their 'defence' and rifle home. I went barmy, absolutely crazy when the second one went in. Two goals in a minute? Wonderful stuff.
I am informed that Tottenham DID actually come out for the second half, although I'm not sure I believe it. We got our third when Assou-Ekotto went straight through Eduardo (again, no booking. Clattenburg waiting for someone to take to the field with a machete and/or Kalashnikov before even thinking about it, I'm guessing) and whilst everyone stopped, the ref waved play on and Sagna again got to the byline and pulled the ball back and somehow Gomes and King contrived to let the ball pass through the two of them and go in off van Persie's knob for 3-0.
That was that, really - game over. Eduardo missed a couple of glorious chances to get his first league goals of the season that had the manager jumping around and throwing his jacket to the floor, but we were completely dominant and great value for a 3-0 win. I then ran around London meeting a friend for coffee and then attending three separate Halloween parties before falling into my bed, completely drained, at 4:30am. What day, what a weekend, and bring on Hull next week where hopefully we can put Phil Brown out of a job!
Star man: So many contenders. Vermaelen and Song didn't let a thing past them, Robin van Persie is showing signs of becoming the 20-goal-a-season striker he has threatened to be for the last 4 years, but the puppet master was the newly revitalised Cesc Fabregas, who was divine. At the centre of everything and scored a brilliant solo goal.
Worst performer: Diaby was again shoddy and if he's not looking over his shoulder at Aaron Ramsey then he bloody well should be, but my vote for worst performer this week actually goes to Eduardo. The guy is a number 9, a goal hanger, a 'fox in the box' if you will. So I have a little sympathy when the manager dumps him out on the left wing, as the guy hasn't got a clue what to do. However, when given two gilt-edged opportunities he fluffed them both terribly and he was just as bad against Liverpool's kids in the week as well.
Best moment: Cesc Fabregas's goal straight from kick off after we had gone one-up. I don't think I've ever seen Arsenal do that before and it was one of those moments that validates my decision to part with £1,200 of my hard-earned cash every season. Now if we could only do it in a Final...
Tactics: The manager got it completely and utterly spot-on. He knew Tottenham would lump balls up to Crouch, so we nullified that by putting Super-Jumper Thomas Vermaelen up against the beanpole who then either beat him to every header or put him off his stride every time.
Chant of the game: The guy behind me who shrieked the word 'FREAK!' at the top of his voice every time Peter Crouch got the ball made me smile, as did the chants of 'Are you Tottenham in disguise?' directed at our opposition. Ha, and indeed, ha.
Oppo fans: Rubbish. Didn't sing, sat there looking miserable for 85 minutes nd then promptly bugered off before the end, such was their embarrassment and shame in their team's performance. Top 4? Jog on, girls.
David Oudôt, www.onlinegooner.com & taxloser.blogspot.com
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Everton 1-1 ASTON VILLA
Ok, got to admit, I've been a regular season ticket holder at Villa Park since the early 90s, I get to the away games that I can and I live breath and sleep Villa but I'm sooooo bored. The standard of football we play at least 75% of the time just does not reflect the money spent. The tactics, or lack of them, are naive and the .... in fact, even now I'm getting bored talking about it.
The game versus Everton was just standard mid-table fodder, the ref was awful and the players not much better. There were a few bits and bobs that added spice like the sendings off and Emile Heskey towards the end of the game at right-back, or was that just a drunken dream???? NO, I have proof, we took a photo!
As Steve Wade said on my site (Something for the Weekend) "The recurring problem for Martin O'Neill, seems to be, that despite the overwhelming evidence suggesting that Villa are a much better side, when playing 4-5-1, he keeps trying to prove that 4-4-2 can work. You can't blame him for trying but I can't think of many good results or convincing performances, which Villa have achieved lately, while playing 4-4-2."
The press say we play fast flowing, exciting attacking football... sorry, I don't see it. Yours, Zzzzzzzz.
Star man: Best man at Goodison Park on Saturday was my mate Deano, it was his 30th and he drank more shots than I thought humanly possibly, but still stayed awake during the game! The ref I'm sure will be gutted he wasn't named star man though, he certainly wanted to be. James Collins made a few crucial interceptions and tackles.
Worst performer: No one was THAT bad, just (for both teams) no one was that good. There was little bite. Can I give that fella from Everton the title for his silly hair?! Fellaini, there, I've done it!
Tactics: LOL... tactics...!?!??!
Chant of the game: I'm very immature and for some reason just love the 'my garden shed is bigger than this' chant but in this case, my garden shed actually is bigger than Goodison, what a horrible place and the away section is an embarrassment.
Oppo fans: Shhhhhhhhh. They let themselves down, even quieter than the Man Utd boys on their most quiet of days. I was shocked to be honest.
Jonathan Fear, http://astonvilla.vitalfootball.co.uk
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BIRMINGHAM CITY 0 – Manchester City 0
This was probably the best goalless draw I've ever watched. If you'd offered me a point at the start I would have taken it, but I'm really disappointed that we didn't win today. Moneybags City turned up expecting three points, got hustled out of the game and were matched in all departments by little old Birmingham. The fact that their goalkeeper was man of the match speaks volumes.
Blues were up and at 'em from the start and we could have been two up in ten minutes but Chucho was first unlucky and then too tentative in his early chances. The man desperately needs a goal. Every outfield player did their bit although McFadden's penalty was a poor one. He made it easy for the goalkeeper to save. If we can add a bit of finishing quality too our work ethic we will do well this season. Hope you are thinking the same Carson Yeung. Just not Kris Boyd or that Russian bloke from Tottenham though.
For all their superstars Man City didn't impress. I don't think they liked the classic Birmingham weather that we had today. Tevez seemed to be intent in kicking the ball at someone in row P while Gareth Barry was often found passing to the invisible man.
A nearly game but fourteenth after eleven games is not a bad start. Good to see some proper British November weather, time for all the fancy dans to get the gloves out. Wimps. Obviously Martin Petrov never had to do P.E. in the snow in just shorts and T-Shirt!
Star man: Seb Larsson, bags of energy caused city problems all game.
Worst performer: Barry Ferguson, ruined a good game by a bit of stupidity at the end. Not what you expect from a senior professional.
Best moment: Getting the penalty, worst moment was missing it.
Tactics: Fine. We basically played the same as the previous week. McLeish didn't change it for the visit of the “Big” club and it paid dividends.
Chant of the game: A rousing “Keep Right On” just after the penalty miss. Some good booing of Gareth Barry as well.
Oppo fans: Noisy but didn't have much to shout about.
Mike, www.joysandsorrows.co.uk
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Man Utd 2 - 0 BLACKBURN
That is now ten away defeats on the trot in the league - one more and that will be a record in Rovers' history that Big Sam does not want! And who is the next away game against? Bolton Wanderers!! To be fair, it was a much improved performance than the thrashing at Chelsea last week, but somehow still lacked passion from the players. It just seemed that they knew they were going to lose, and had been told to keep the score down to a minimum.
United were average really, but two top class finishes saw them home without having to go into overdrive.
Nikola Kalinic was unlucky to see his late goal disallowed for offside, but would it have made any difference? A hard month has seen Rovers play Arsenal, Chelsea and Man United away from home and predictably come home with nothing. Now there is a run of "easier" games to come. Rovers need to start up picking points - fast!
Star man: Pascal Chimbonda - never stopped running
Worst performer: The whole of the midfield - too square, didn't challenge, didn't set anything up.
Best moment: Bringing Benni McCarthy on.
Tactics: 4-5-1. Di Santo on his own, in front of a five-man midfield that played far too squarely.
Chant of the game: "All we are saying...................is play 4-4-2"
Oppo fans: Very, very quiet - even when they scored! They were probably thinking about their long trip home.
Pete Anslow, www.4000holes.co.uk
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BOLTON WANDERERS 0 Chelsea 4
For the second time in the space of four days, Bolton were hammered 4-0 by Chelsea. Unlike the Carling Cup defeat last Wednesday, Bolton were actually in the game this time and the final score was not what they deserved.
For 45 minutes, Bolton were coping with their superior opponents but were hit by the hammer blow right on the stroke of half time when Jlloyd Samuel brought down Didier Drogba in the box, leaving the referee with no option but to show the red card.
Frank Lampard's penalty practise continued as he scored yet again at the Reebok, before second half goals from Deco, Zat Knight (og) and Drogba sealed the rout.
For once, Nicolas Anelka didn't return to score against one of his old clubs. However, he was instrumental in Chelsea's play and anyone who said he and Drogba couldn't play together just needed to watch the game on Saturday.
In the end, Bolton were well beaten in a game which was spoilt by a single decision.
Star man: Fabrice Muamba - The best of a poor bunch. Was given the tough task of man marking Frank Lampard early on before later doing the same job on Michael Ballack and Deco. Unfortunately, Chelsea's extra man put a spanner in the works as the midfield changed its shape after the break.
Worst performer: Jlloyd Samuel - His performance was nothing too bad, but his challenge on Didier Drogba resulted in his dismissal and from then on the result was never going to be in doubt.
Best moment: Former Wanderers favourite Nicolas Anelka responding to chants of his name from the home fans by applauding them, showing respect works both ways.
Tactics: We started with a 4-4-2 formation with Kevin Davies and Johan Elmander in attack. The midfield of Chris Basham, Matt Taylor, Ricardo Gardner and Lee Chung-Yong all man marked their respective opponent and all was looking rosey until the dismissal of Jlloyd Samuel and the forced changes.
Chant of the Game: "Where were you when you were shit!" - From the Bolton fans, directed towards the small minority of Chelsea fans who felt the urge to run towards the home supporters every time they scored a goal.
Oppo fans: Just like every other visiting team to the Reebok so far this season, they travelled well in numbers. However, given the relative ease and domination in which their side strolled to victory, the only time they looked interested was the 20 seconds after each goal.
Chris Mann, www.burndenaces.co.uk
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BURNLEY 2 - 0 Hull City
This was by no means a classic. Hull City desperate for a win to save Phil Brown's neck, clearly came to try and frustrate the Clarets in what turned out to be a pretty scrappy affair (and I could have left the 's' off there!). The Hull players seemed to drop to the floor claiming foul at the least bit of contact and the whistle far too often spoilt the natural flow of the game.
Chris Eagles on the wing tried his best to liven up proceedings and Jordan looked good in the back four with the defence in general holding firm and snuffing out the few attacks Hull could muster in a game in which the Tigers never looked like scoring (especially from open play)
The Clarets all told put in a solid performance without being breathtaking but we thoroughly deserved our win being by far the better team, even though Match of the Day later revealed we may have been a tad fortunate with a couple of key decisions. The first was the penalty decision that led to our first goal, it is not clear if Mears was fouled by Hunt or whether Tyrone simply lost his footing, but who cares we have had enough decisions not go our way in the past so we are due some good fortune. Penalty king, Alexander made no mistake from the spot.
Mike Jones was the referee in charge of this clash and this was his first game since the beach ball controversy in the Sunderland v Liverpool match. Controversy seems to follow him around and it reached fever pitch when he disallowed what looked like a Hull equaliser from a free-kick by Geovanni. It was alleged there was some pushing in the wall so the goal was scratched off much to the relief of Clarets fans. I have now watched the incident frame-by-frame. I am sure you can see an Amber & Black round blowy-up thing in the wall, but then maybe I'm seeing things.
It was too much for Geovanni. He soon found himself on the end of two yellow cards and a sending off making Hull's task impossible, not that they had much chance with eleven men let alone ten.
In the end therefore, a vital three points for the Clarets who are now sitting pretty in tenth place after this well earned victory. What was particular pleasing after the defeat last week to Wigan at home was the return of 'Fortress Turf Moor' and hearing the Clarets fans back in full voice.
Star man: I have spent the last few weeks airing my concerns about Graham Alexander, who I felt was beginning to show his age (now 38) and needed to get his act together. His passing had gone astray and he had started to give balls away in crucial areas of the pitch putting us under pressure on the counter-attack. So what does he do against Hull? He celebrates his 100th appearance for the Clarets by probably having his best game of the season scoring a brace of goals including one from open play, a pretty rare thing for Grezza. It seems my tactics worked and I am glad he took note of my criticism (Cough!!)
Worst performer: It would be unfair to select anybody as the 'worst performer', everybody I thought put in some hard graft today and they all played well as a team.
Tactics: Our formation was the usual 4-1-4-1 with Alexander in the holding midfield role and Fletcher up front and these tactics were clearly successful. Our other tactics of trying to get the media including Match of the Day to talk about our performance rather than witter on about the problems of Phil Brown & Hull however clearly failed.
Chant of the game: The last time we played Hull City at Turf Moor was in their promotion year from the Championship. We lost 1-0 and that match was to be the last one in charge for former Burnley gaffer, Steve Cotterill. Could there now be a cruel twist of fate, with this time Hull's under pressure manager Phil Brown being the one to suffer the chop after losing 2-0 to the Clarets? There had been speculation all week that Brown's days were numbered and the Clarets fans were quick to remind everybody of that fact after Alexander scored from the penalty kick. Choruses of 'You're getting sacked in the morning, sacked in the morning' were loudly heard all around the ground
Oppo fans: They came, they saw, they went away with their Tiger Tails between their legs. Drowned out by the Clarets fans in 'Fortress Turf Moor'- mode you felt like singing a song for them! Last week they openly sang out that Phil Brown 'doesn't know what he's doing'.. If they were singing it again, I didn't hear it above the roar of the Clarets.
What the hell are they going to sing next week assuming Brown lasts before their next game against Stoke?
Best moment: Under-pressure Hull manager, Phil Brown, said this week that his players were 1 million percent behind him. One player who didn't seem to be behind him by any percentage was Paul McShane who threw a hissy fit when being substituted in the second half in the 59th minute. Brown would have been impressed by his shooting skills after the defender kicked a water bottle towards the dugout whilst coming off. On the other hand it might have been aimed at Brown and he missed so he might after all not be Brown's new striker next week! It was one of two best moments for me. The other? I was sat right behind Brown's technical area and when they thought they had equalised from the free-kick, it seemed like hundreds of players and staff shot out from the dugout with Brown in front of them leading the premature jubilations. It was mildly amusing to see them all stop in their tracks when the referee disallowed the goal and then see them all mope back off the pitch dejected and squeeze once more into the dugout. Brown had to put that blessed headset back into place too. What does he do with that thing? I think it's his mp3 player. I could swear blind it was playing Status Quo's Down, Down, Deeper and Down!
'Turfman' Phil Lea, www.burnley.vitalfootball.co.uk
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Bolton Wanderers 0-1 CHELSEA
Christmas Day 1999, and an eight-year-old Jlloyd Samuel is sat cross-legged on the floor of his family home, gently rolling a shiny red toy fire engine back and forth. His father - shall we call him Jmartin, or Jrobert? - enters the room and bellows: “Just because it’s Christmas doesn’t mean you can take a day off on my, I mean your, personal quest to become a multi-millionaire, I mean, a footballer. Now listen to this, because if you are going to become a world-class defender, you need to master the basics. Now listen to this, as it could be the most important piece of advice anyone ever gives you son.
“If you are marking a striker, and he gets away from you and finds himself through on goal, do not, under any circumstances, rashly bring him down, give away a penalty, and get yourself sent-off.”
And all young Jlloyd heard at the time, was a softly murmured ‘vrrrrrrrrm’ from his own mouth, blocking out the sound of his father, as the fire engine went forwards and backwards.
So anyway, that’s how Chelsea went 1-0 up… sort of. Frank Lampard misses penalties as often as Sir Alex Ferguson agrees with the decisions of referees, so to see the net bulge after he stepped up to take the spot-kick was inevitable really.
The goal was coming, and after netting four against the hapless Trotters in the week, it looked like more of the same was to follow, but Jussi Jaaskelainen did his impression of that little Indian girl who was born with eight limbs, thrusting out arms and legs everywhere to frustrate our attackers.
A quick counter caught the Finn and his defence short however, with Deco finishing one of our many chances for 2-0, and with big Zat Knight heading into his own net late on, Bolton were eventually dispatched with aplomb. Drogba’s late goal was the icing on the cake.
We seemed to be content with the how things were going in the second-half, and just played out the remaining minutes with little incident or intent. Bolton were not even that bad, they were just a butterfly to our bulldozer on this occasion, and we merrily collect another three points while Liverpool continued to make a mess of their campaign. Lovely stuff.
Star man: Didier Drogba. His goals to game ratio is phenomenal this season, he’s a monster.
Worst performer: Just a little bugbear. Deco. No, he’s not the little bugbear, although his corner-taking is. He doesn’t seem to realise that when we have an attacking corner, it means that we should probably use it to create a goal-scoring chance, not just hand the ball back to the opposition. Other than that, keep doing what you’re doing little fella.
Best moment: Drogba’s goal. Deco’s chest, to Lampard’s flick, to Drogs’ emphatic finish. Beautiful football and the man can’t stop scoring!
Tactics: How can you improve on a system which constantly produces chance after chance after chance after chance, game upon game? Oh yeah, finish them all!
Chant of the game: Can we play you every week?…No really, can we?
Oppo fans: Drum…Drum…DRUM…DRUUM…DDRRRUUUMMM. They had a drum.
Rowan Farnham-Long, www.cfcnet.co.uk
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EVERTON 1 - 1 Aston Villa
The most played top-flight fixture in the history of the English game. Between the two teams that have finished 5th and 6th respectively in the last two seasons. And it's still consigned to the Match of the Day graveyard slot! But at least Evertonians know that they can get lasties in at the pub and still make it home to see highlights!
Anyway, as in the past couple of seasons, there was nothing between these two and, in spite of the pundits convincing themselves that Spurs will finally come good and Man frigging City are now one of the elite, there's no reason why these two shouldn't be contesting for the European slots and - whisper it - Liverpool's place in the top four.
Everton made three changes to the side that were defeated in midweek by Tottenham and the reintroduction of Jospeh Yobo and Leighton Baines into the Everton back four instantly made the Blues look a more solid unit.
And it was Everton that started the brighter of the two teams, playing some neat football, the kind of which we've come to expect over the past few seasons.
But despite making Villa look uncomfortable Everton were restricted to one long-range effort that was easily saved by Brad Friedel and an off target header from Yakubu from John Heitingas lofted cross.
Villa then had the best chance of the half with Stephen "my only regret about leaving Liverpool is that I never did it sooner" Warnock volleying narrowly wide from ten yards out. Then, just as we thought we'd be going in 0-0 at half time, Tim Cahill chased a long ball down the flank and outmuscled Richard Dunne to whip a cross into the Villa area.
Yakubu failed to control the cross but the ball fell kindly to Diniyar Bilyaletdinov who comfortably slotted home to give Everton the lead.
So spirits were high as the second half kicked off, we had a one goal lead and had not really let Villa get at us at all.
Both Gabriel Agbonlahor and the intensly irritating Ashley Young being contained by a much more assured looking backline.
But this Everton defence has had more lapses than a Catholic schoolgirl and so it proved again just two minutes after the break. The otherwise faultless Lucas Neil went missing on the right and the ball was whipped into the Everton box towards Agbonlahor. His shot was parried by Tim Howard but only as far as John Carew who netted his customary goal against the Blues after being on the pitch for just two minutes.
Everton were briefly rattled by this setback but no Benfica-style collapse ensued and the Blues regained their composure and control of the game for large parts of the second half.
Louis Saha came on for the ineffective Marouane Fellaini as David Moyes went for the win but the one chance the Frenchman had he sliced wide.
So the game was to finish all square and both sides ended the match with ten men after Bilyaletdinov and Carlos Cuellar - who has taken Matthew Upson's title as wearer of the best Greek-God-style beard - were both sent off at the death.
Neither side can really complain with either decision as Bilyaletdinov's challenge, whilst not malicious, was late and two-footed and Cuellar's crude challenge on Yakubu was deserving of a second yellow card no matter how much Martin O'Neill asserts that he won the ball.
He didn't!
Get off!
Star man: Yakubu - getting better with each game, his hold up play was excellent and he never loses possession. It won't be long before he's netting regualrly again.
Worst performer: Marouane Fellaini - his laconic style of play is no good in games like this, especially when we're without Steven Pienaar and Mikel Arteta to take the pressure off him.
Tactics: The injury crisis abated slightly with Yobo and Baines getting their places back and the difference was immediately apparent. But Moyes still has his hands tied in midfield and that's now our main concern.
Oppo fans: Awful as usual. Didn't sell their full allocation and sung their usual turgid songs - that John Carew one is particularly toe curling. Also broke the record for the obvious "Sign on" chant, breaking into it about 30 seconds after kick off! Also sang the equally hilarious "Feed the Scousers" which was completely unacceptable given that we've not even had bonfire night yet!
Chant of the game: Everton singing "We only sing when we're winning" - the sooner away fans gets to grips with this concept the better! Also, we do only have one song and you can sing a song for us should the fancy take you!
Les Roberts, www.everton-mad.co.uk
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FULHAM 3 Liverpool 1
A full house yesterday and I suspect several thousand sore heads this morning as Fulham celebrated a fantastic win over Liverpool, inflicting a fifth defeat in ten games on a side that appear to be slipping out of the so-called big four.
With Andrew Johnson and Danny Murphy still missing we still more than held our own in a first half that saw Bobby Zamora net from close range to give Fulham the lead.
Liverpool looked disjointed and only a fantastic goal by Fernando Torres saw them level by half time. But, the second half was what dreams are made of. Erik Nevland scored a classy back-heel to give us the lead and then Lee Mason went off on one dishing out red cards to Phillipe Degen and Jamie Carragher as Rafa Benitez sat by watching his title dreams washed away on the banks of the Thames.
To make it worse Dempsey made it a visit to West London Benitez would rather forget when he scored a third. Wonderful game, wonderful night out and the headache has almost gone!
Star man: Bobby Zamora – Couldn’t hit a barn door up at Manchester City but stole the show with a neat goal and a work rate that puts some of his fancy-dan competitors in the Premier League to shame.
Worst performer: Lee Mason, harsh with his red card decisions but what the heck!
Best moment: Just has to be Clint Dempsey scoring the third, we were in dream land.
Tactics: Roy Hodgson got it spot on whilst Rafa Benitez made a right hash of it!
Chant of the Game: We want four! How often do you hear the Hammersmith End sing that when we play Liverpool?
Oppo fans: Didn’t know where to put their heads when it all went pear-shaped big time in the second half, total silence and it was great to see!
Andrew Joyce, www.vital.fulham.co.uk
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Burnley 0 – 2 HULL CITY
City were robbed at Turf Moor with Mike Jones’ inept performance gifting the hosts the three points. In a game that Brown had to win, Jones first awarded a penalty that Alexander converted when Mears managed to fall over his own feet under pressure from Stephen Hunt.
Few could imagine the day could get worse, with Jones then denying City their own blatant penalty, before the beach-ball ref disallowed a stunning Geovanni free-kick for “pushing” in the wall – absolute nonsense!
Burnley were admittedly the better side on the day and extended their lead when Alexander scored his second low from distance, but had City equaliser through Geovanni, we might have gone on to win. The Brazilian was later sent-off for two quick bookings to make Jones an even larger hate figure in East Yorskhire.
Star man: Geovanni – A committed performance from the Brazilian ruined only by the inept referee. His free-kick was worthy of gracing any game.
Worst performer: The ref was the obvious one – Paul McShane had a bit of a stinker too!
Best moment: Seeing Adam Pearson outside the ground – it’s nice to have him back.
Tactics: Brown got them right by fielding a 4-4-2, but Geovanni was deployed too deep to effectively make an impact on the game in the final third.
Chant of the game: "She said no Marlon, she said no!" Was he listening in jail?
Oppo fans: Only singing when they’re winning!
Matt Wilson, www.hull.vitalfootball.co.uk
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Fulham 3 - 1 LIVERPOOL
A dreadful day out in London yet again for the Reds and this time it was just a bit too shambolic and cringeworthy to watch. We were unlucky with a round of flu and several injuries forcing what I counted to be 10 first team players out. But still, the only flourish of positivity came from Fernado Torres, who was forced off after 65minutes. Post match reaction has focused on why Rafa took him off. It should really be on the performance of the rest of the team.
Star man: Fernando Torres. Brilliant goal, can conjure something up from nothing.
Worst performer: Phillip Degen. Maybe the worst defender I've ever seen in the Liverpool shirt.
Tactics: With Lyon in the Champions League on Wednesday, it was more of a case of proritising that than winning this game. The financial implications of not qualifying for the Champions League second round are too great. Though at this rate our only way of qualifying for next year's tournament will be by winning it!
Oppo fans: Must be happy.
Max Munton, www.thisisanfield.com
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[Apols readers and scousers, I accidentally commissioned two people to write reports for the Liverpool game. Not a good week for any Reds to have to read any match report, let alone do it twice, but hey, I thought I'd include them both anyway - Terrace Frontline Ed]
Fulham 3-1 LIVERPOOL
I have been thinking long and hard about what to write in this match review. Clearly, as a club/team, we are all over the shop at the minute. The word 'crisis' is bandied about too liberally at times, however make no mistake - we are bang in the middle of one.
Last Sunday evening we all thought the worst was over, we had gone into the game on a losing streak and outplayed the title favourites. This should have been the base to kick on. Wednesday was a hiccup in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't a strong Liverpool side however they equipped themselves quite well and contributed to a great game, if still losing.
Saturday however... Credit to Fulham, they did what the Mancs couldn't and took advantage of a below par Liverpool side. For their hunger in the second half and the willingness to attack us and go for the 3 pts, they deserved it.
Liverpool bossed the first half with the majority of possession, however didn't look like breaking down Fulham, Yossi's crossbar effort notwithstanding. Fulham break, Duff feeds Zamora whilst Insua is sleeping and not for the first time this season either. 1-0 Fulham.
Torres is not fit and there is a solid argument that he shouldn't be anywhere near the side like Gerrard. Rafa is getting a lot of flak for taking him off when clearly he shouldn't be on. Anyhow, he is quality even when 1/4 fit, glimpse of a chance and swoosh, 1-1. Torres did nothing other than that all afternoon.
We got back into the game and it was there for us second half. So we came out like puppies, giving the initiative to Fulham which they took. Up until Fulham scored their 2nd there was only one team looking like winning the game and it wasn't those in Red.
As everyone knows, draws cost us last season and Kuyt, in trying to keep a sense of urgency to win the game, kept the ball in and presented a break to Fulham. Nice flick finish, 2-1.
Degen gets sent off for nothing and Carragher gets sent off for the offence he shouldn't have (was lucky to get away with earlier one so can have no complaints).
Down to 9 men and the Fulham crowd are giving it 'Ole'. It was one of those days. Quick break against our 2 defenders, 3-1.
Rafa is getting an inordinate amount of stick and whilst that is nothing new in terms of the media and ex-players (What managerial career you have forged Whelan, shut yer gob), the support is fracturing the worst at any time during his reign.
He is not entirely blameless. Yes, we have injuries everywhere and half-fit players, however there is a lingering sense that this game was sacrificed for the Lyon away match. Conceding games does not sit comfortably with me as a Liverpool fan, should never happen, ever.
That said, I am behind him. There is no-one else that would touch our club with a bargepole presently given the financial situation and ownership lack of stability.
Going back to the original point of the article. We are in crisis. A crisis could reasonably be defined as a run of results that makes the whole club change their goals for the season. Well, the league is a 10,000-1 shot and we are close to being dumped out of the Champions League. Very close if reports this morning are to be believed, stating that we may have an injury list of approx 9 players.
Whilst the manager is deservedly taking some blame for Saturday, the players should also take some. Voronin and Babel are a waste of space that should never wear a Red shirt again. Lucas comes in for a lot of abuse, however at least with him there is application. Babel has all the attributes to be a top player with the notable exception of heart.
This has been an awful run of games and the injury list could dictate it will get worse.
Lyon is a must win. We have been here before with eerie comparisons to Reading and Marseille a couple of years ago, then we had a full team to count on though.
Star man: Reina (God love him)
Worst performer: Take your pick but Babel deserves special mention as ever. Get your ar$e off Twitter Ryan!
Best moment: The final whistle
Tactics: Wrong, wrong, wrong. Should have went for the win, instead we bent over.
Chant of the game: 'Boo' at taking Torres off. Should never have been on, but it shows the precarious position our Rafa is in.
Oppo fans: Same old at the Cottage. Very pleasant. Can't blame them for the 'Ole'.
KB, www.liverpool.vitalfootball.co.uk
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Birmingham City 0 MAN CITY 0
Probably our worst performance of the season, against a mediocre Birmingham side. If we have aspirations of finishing in the top four these are fixtures we simply have to win. Liverpool’s poor form has presented us with a real opportunity, but we are not taking advantage. OK, we have lost fewer games than anyone else in the division, but four points from the last four games isn’t Champions League form.
Star man: Shay Given. Exemplary as always. If there’s a better keeper in the league, I’m yet to see him.
Worst performer: Gareth Barry had a nightmare. Caught in possession a few times, and his distribution was awful. The onlooking Fabio Capello won’t have been impressed.
Best moment: Given’s penalty save. McFadden is usually pretty clinical from the spot, but Given made a smart save to his left.
Tactics: We lacked creativity today, and 4-4-2 clearly isn’t working. A return to 4-3-3 is sorely needed. On the bright side, at least we kept a clean sheet for once.
Oppo fans: Lots of empty seats.
Ric Turner, www.bluemoon-mcfc.co.uk
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MAN UTD 2 - 0 Blackburn
Manchester United cruised to a comfortable win over a Blackburn Rovers side that set new standards in lack of ambition. A brace of outstanding finishes from Wayne Rooney and Dimitar Berbatov were enough to see off United's Lancashire rivals on a day when the home side should have matched Chelsea's five or Arsenal's six against limited opposition.
United's stand-in defender Jonny Evans and Wes Brown strolled through the match, barely breaking sweat. Blackburn made no meaningful effort to attack Edwin van der Sar's goal until the 87th minute, by which time the game was lost. The great Dutchman is edging towards retirement but will rarely have been so unemployed as against Sam Allardyce's Rovers in a 20-year career.
United took close to an hour to win the game and Sir Alex Ferguson need only look at his side's wasteful finishing. United created a flurry of chances in the opening period, with Dimitar Berbatov guilty of profligacy in equal measure to sublime skill. But it was the Bulgarian who finally broke Rovers' resolve, expertly turning on Patrice Evra's wayward shot to volley into Paul Robinson's bottom right corner. It was a fine goal and ample reward for Berbatov's outstanding recent form.
United, who needed a response to last week's heartbreaking defeat at Anfield, then wrapped up the game with just a few minutes to spare as Rooney expertly guided in Anderson's left-wing cross.
In between Premier League debutant Gabriel Obertan, excellent in midweek against Barnsley, missed a brace of chances to cap his Old Trafford bow with a goal. The Frenchman, angry at himself post-match, has done more in 100 minutes of football than Nani in two and a half seasons in Manchester.
The match-winner Berbatov ended the game relieved to have scored in another excellent personal performance.
Star man: Berbatov is world class and if the media - quick to criticise, slower to apologise - refuse to admit in then it's no loss to United. Outstanding goal.
Worst performer: Nani has become an embarrasment. In more than two years at Old Trafford he has learned almost nothing.
Best moment: Berbatov's 180 degree swivel and volley for the opening goal. Very classy.
Tactics: Four four two and little to note. But will Ferguson be brave enough to go for it at Chelsea next week?
Oppo fans: There were some, apparently. It must be gutting to watch your side happy to just lose with some dignity.
Ed Barker, www.unitedrant.co.uk
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PORTSMOUTH 4 -0 Wigan
What can you say, I – along with so many – went into this game believing that we would win, in fact we HAD to win I feel or that was it, we were just about done for! Not only did we win, we won in style as we cracked home 4 goals for the second time in less than a week, this saw us achieve our best league win for some 4 years I think?
The players were again up for it, the crowd were up for it and everything came together on the day, we were fantastic and the scoreline did not flatter us, if anything we could have scored more! Ensuring we do not get carried away by this is the main thing now though because as good as we were Wigan were equally, if not more so, poor...
Star man: This is a tough one. Many would look to Aruna Dindane as he scored a hat-trick, and to be fair he did have a good game but I thought Michael Brown played a good captain's role. Younes Kaboul and Marc Wilson were really good at the back again, with Tal Ben-Haim having his best game for us to date, but I think I would say Jamie O'Hara as he seemed to be at the hub of things for us most of the time.
Worst performer: You cannot really say you had a worst performer in a 4-0 win, can you? If I was ultra critical, and my hand really forced, I might say that Steve Finnan did not have his best 40 minutes before he had to come off injured – I am not sure he was right from the off to be honest?
Best moment: The whole thing! You sensed something special was coming that day and we got it, to hear the full-time whistle and to see so many happy faces for once was a pleasure though and all the chat on the way out was of a positive nature too.
Tactics: Against Hull I think that Paul Hart possibly got it wrong as we should have taken the game more to them as we did Wigan – we set up with a 4-4-2 formation and showed from the off we meant business, this is exactly what we need to do against Wigan and the like, especially at home as these are the games that will define our season. Yep, Hart got it spot-on.
Chant of the game: The whole atmosphere was a lot better this weekend than it was against Spurs. The cheaper tickets in the Milton End helped and the drums being allowed back in also helped – so, all in all I cannot really single out one chant, although some 'Paul Hart's blue and white army' chants really did seem to be a stadium wide thing, not just certain sections, and that united support for the manager is good to hear.
Oppo fans: They were quiet, although being 'treated' to what they were – seriously Wigan were the poorest side I have seen this season at Fratton, arguably the poorest for some time! – cannot have helped. They had a few with them but the numbers dropped at half time and as the 2nd half went on the more people slipped away. I cannot recall a section that was fairly full empty as much as it did as a game has gone on as this to eventually see it left with only a much smaller number for the closing stages.
PLAY UP POMPEY!
Rug, www.portsmouth.vitalfootball.co.uk
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STOKE 2 Wolves 2
A game of two halves if ever there was one. First half we got the ball down, passed it round and tore Wolves apart in this Staffordshire derby. We really do hate Wolves, so it was fantastic to open the scoring when great awareness from Sorenson saw him throw out to Etherington, who had his best game for Stoke. He powered past the full back on a seriously quick 60-yard run before a fabulous cross was diverted into his won net by Obi-Won-Kenobi under pressure from BT. The long throw returned with its first assit since the opening day when a half cleared
Delap special was headed to Etherington who chested the ball before volleying into the top corner from outside the box. Half time... game over, surely? Oh no, no, no. Within two minute soif the restart Wolves were back in it as Craddock, who was that offside he was in a different postcode, stabbed in from close range before equalising on the hour mark. City tried to get a late third but I think, after two victories, we should be happy with a point and look for wins against Hull and Pompey either side of the international break
Star man: Matthew Etherington. A perfect 10 out of 10 in the first half but we failed to utilise him in the second and he was less effective. In really top form as of late and a joy to behold with the ball at his feet.
Worst performer: Rory Delap. Looks to be carrying an injury and also he isn't a right winger. Subbed off after an hour and this is becoming a regular occurrence.
Best moment: The first goal. Etherington picks up a throw from Sorenson, sprints half the length of the field and puts a great cross across the 6 yard box where Beattie forced Elokobi into putting the ball into his own net. Fantastic
Tactics: We went long too soon. We played the ball on the deck in the first half and ripped Wolves apart time and again. Second half we allowed Wolves back into the game and then forgot how we got 2-0 up. Mama came on but was out of touch and never got going.
Chant of the game: Not a lot to report really. Best chant probably came from the opposition with 'Theres only one Jody Craddock, one Jody Craddock, he used to be shite, but now he's alright, walking in a Craddock wonderland'.
Oppo fans: As expected noisy start, quiet after our great start, silent when we were two-nil up but noisy when they drew level.
Daniel Buxton, www.stokecity-mad.co.uk
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SUNDERLAND 2 -2 West Ham
Sunderland started the game off on the right foot having the best part of the play, up until West Ham got their goal. Then just six minutes later Carlton Cole doubled West Ham's lead, by beating an offside trap set by everyone else but Nosworthy, think that someone needs to explain to Nyron Nosworthy how that actually works playing Cole on by miles!!
Two-nil down but Sunderland didn’t let their heads drop, and kept pushing, finally we get a free kick. Andy Reid that lad that can park the ball ona blade of grass, taking the kick curling it over the wall and smashing it into the back of the net, his left foot is one of the best.
Just before the half time Herita Ilunga put a tackle in against our big striker Ken Jones, Jones reacting to the challenge by giving Ilunga’s a push in the chest, Ilunga went down holding his face like he’d took a right off hook from Mike Tyson! Jones was shown a straight red and Ilunga’s Oscar nomination is in the post and a his future part in
Eastenders.
Second half Sunderland piled on the pressure, being a man down didn’t really show. Both sides had their chances with some great saves by both Green and Gordon at both ends of the pitch. Nosworthy made up for his
first half arse up by clearing the ball off the line later into the second half. Sunderland where not going to take defeat and didn’t with Richardson getting on the end of a Darren Bent cross to tap the ball in on the volley. Ten minutes to go West Ham have a man sent off for a second bookable offence, this was a big surprise as the ref may as well of had a
West Ham shirt on today, good job Fergie’s not our manager as the four official would have had his ears chewed off!
Star man: Darren Bent has been raving on about these new boots he’s had designed and made for him. He wore them for the first time and he needs to never wear them again, get his old scoring boots back on, the amount of chance he had today Sunderland could of easily won this game if he’d had his other boots on!
Worst performer: The ref spoilt the game, give everything West Ham’s way.
Best moment: Sunderland showed some real grit even going a man down coming back from 2 goals down.
Tactics: Bruce made the right tactics and had Bent put away his chances we could have had at least four even with 10 men.
Chant of the game: "You're not singing anymore!" when we got the second goal.
Oppo fans: Got behind their team.
Daryl Baker, www.sunderland-mad.co.uk
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Woolwich Nomads 3 - 0 SPURS
During this long run of North London derbies without a Spurs win there have been games that we deserved to win and were robbed; there have been games where we were well worth a draw, and were robbed; and there have been games where Spurs fell way below what was required and consequently were stuffed.
This match falls squarely into that final category. If Spurs have conceded a worse goal in 125+ years than the one we laid on a plate for Fabregas... well, I don’t want to see the footage.
Every Spurs supporter I’ve spoken to is unhappy about the way we went about this game. Harry can bemoan how we “committed suicide”, and we certainly did that (we seemed bent on it even before the Woolwich scored, such was Huddlestone’s carelessness), but after saying “we can only play one way”, he set the team up with Crouch alone up front and Keane wide left, and hoped that runners from midfield could pick up the knock downs. It goes without saying that no Tottenham supporter wants to see the team play that way, and once we were behind we quickly found that we had little ammunition with which to respond.
Of course we missed Modric, Defoe and Lennon badly. We had no guile and even more importantly we had no pace without them. You can’t just surrender the initiative without having a threat at the other end to keep the other team on their toes. Well, you can, but not if you want to win the game. We put ourselves in a totally one-dimensional situation, and suddenly, from 43 minutes onwards, it was too late.
Even then, 2-0 down at half time, we had a chance to change it and didn’t. Why wasn’t Kranjcar introduced? Eventually it was Gareth Bale, an attacking full back, who came on to pick up the left midfield role. It took us an hour to have a shot on target. Not good enough Spurs.
I’ve had enough of reading people like Robbie Keane spouting crap about how we’ve caught up with the Woolwich. We haven’t. There’s a long way to go. Things like that just make me (unforgiveably!) end up agreeing with Wenger. Can we just shut up and try and play some football? Please?
Star man: Jermaine Jenas – provided some rare dynamism
Worst perfomer: Tom Huddlestone – wretched display. Slow of mind and movement, predictable passing. A big step backwards for the big man.
Best moment: For the second week on the trot I’m struggling....
Tactics: Caution. Crouch the focal point for high balls, Keane pulled wide left. We had few options with which to change the game – not entirely Harry’s fault, but good players (O’Hara, Taarabt...) are out on loan.
Oppo fans: Same as usual – wrong side of the river.
Andy Knaggs, http://www.spurs-web.com and http://www.THFCTalk.com
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Sunderland 2 - 2 WEST HAM
A Wicked West Ham Halloween Horror show!
After last week’s spirited performance - when the Hammers came back from two down to bloody L’Arse’s nose -, they travelled up to the SoL with renewed confidence, even though Parker was unavailable through suspension. Little did we know that we would suffer the same fate. Great strikes from Franco (30 mins, beating the off-side trap with a simple roll-in) and Cole (36 mins, a blast into the corner), then with Jones taking an early bath after a tussle with Ilunga (raising his hands/pushing his chest), the Hammers rolled into a comfortable two-goal lead and were confidently looking for their second win of the season
And you just knew that the inevitable would happen. Reid reduced the deficit (39 mins, Green routed to the spot from a fine curling free-kick from the edge of the box) and Richardson equalised (76 mins, with a poke-in after a jammy deflection off Upson’s boot) to leave the Hammers ruing their inability to take advantage of the Black Cats’ woeful defending in the first half. And to cap a dreadful second half display, Kovac saw red after his second yellow card in the dying moments. And, looking back after the final whistle, it was a blessing that Bent had left his goal-scoring boots in the dressing room, otherwise we may have shipped four.
Offered a point before the game, many would have taken that. But the manner of the Hammers’ performances has seen our growingly disillusioned supporters fearing for our Prem safety. And now we are only off the bottom by dint of goal difference following Pompey’s fine win. A clean slate for Villa’s visit to UP in the week is imperative.
Star man: For me, Collison shaded it. The youngster was superb in the first half, making both goals and bringing style and class that was so lacking in others. Shame on them! Mention has also got to go to Franco, who is looking as if he might be forging a decent strike partnership with Cole, who, too, was immense today.
Worst performer: Three or four queuing up for this accolade, I’m afraid to have to say. I voted for Kovac, closely followed by Spector, and Noble, the weakest of a very thin, fragile squad.
Best moment: Dredging the bottom for this. The Collison–Franco-Behrami move around the 15-minute mark was a welcome ray of sunshine during the afternoon gloom.
Tactics: Whatever happened during that half-time team talk?! And changing to five across the middle (with Diamanti replacing Behrami, Franco for Hines but still playing far too narrow down the centre of the park) proved, yet again, the distinct lack of tactical nous from the increasingly beleaguered GFZ.
Chant of the game: Both sets of fans joining in and singing 'The referee's a w***er!' after a string of sh*t decisions, six bookings and two sending-offs.
Oppo fans: To be fair they were brilliant. Other supporters would have been silenced and tuned on their team after the opposition had scored twice. All in all, with a fine following from the Hammers faithful as usual, it made for a cracking atmosphere.
Notanuvloss, Knees up Mother Brown, http://www.kumb.com
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Portsmouth 4 - 0 WIGAN
We weren't at the races. A pathetic performance from our boys and surely we must be the most inconsistent team in the entire division. We beat Chelsea and take Burnley's 100% home record before being battered by lowly Pompey.
Star man: Aruna Dindane - You can add the Ivory Coast striker to the long list of players who have broken their ducks against the Latics. None of our players deserve a mention.
Worst performer: Every single player in a Wigan Athletic shirt was poor. It is very frustrating as we seem to bounce from genius to pub team in the blink of an eye.
Best moment: The full time whistle.
Tactics: Again, we didn't seem to do anything wrong in terms of tactics as it was essentially the same side that took points away at Burnley. It must be said though that Pompey wanted everything a great deal more than our
lot.
Chant of the game: "We're gonna win 5-4!"
Oppo fans: As ever, the Portsmouth fans were loud and proud. I suppose their £20 offer helped, but they are certainly amongst the loudest fans in the league.
Paul Farrington, Wiganer.net
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Stoke City 2 WOLVES 2
We made the short journey up the M6 to clayhead land. We got the usual welcome from the mongish locals but there were plenty of Old Bill around, so it didn't really kick off. Yet again Wolves sold their allocation (as did Stoke), pity smaller clubs like Birmingham and Bolton can never fill their stadiums. Wolves struggled in the first half and were lucky to go in just 2-0 down. McCarthy replaced the snarling Castillo who did little in the game but snarl with the perfect left foot that is Nenad Mijijas. Immediately he made an effect, with a freekick finding Jody Craddock (though he was offside) at the far post. Then a superb corner routine straight off the training ground saw Craddock get his second
Star man: Obviously Jody Craddock ala Craddockinho followed by 2nd half sub Nenad Mijijas. Twop years Craddock was written off by most people but he is now way ahead of anyone in the Wolves first team, a true inspiration
Worst performer: Segundo Castillo - has a good game, then a shocker. Hauled off at half time and did virtually nothing, so deserved to be subbed.
Best moment: Craddock's second goal in front of the Wolves fans, the clayheads were pretty quiet then.
Tactics: Again spot on as mentioned about McCarthy hauled off the ineffective Castillo at half time.
Chant of the game: "Who are ya?" the clayheads sang as they went 2-0, we returned the favour when it got to 2-2
Oppo fans: Usual clayheads goading of the away fans, but the usual noisy crowd you would expect at Stoke, made Everton seem like a kindergarten.
wolf306, www.wolves-mad.co.uk
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