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| I think Sol Campbell will end up at Spurs simply because it’s the most shocking thing that could ever happen! | |
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Soccer AM's geezery football boffin Tim Lovejoy know his footy so much, he's been recruited as one of The New Fooball Pools' pundits, predicting weekly scores with Alan Hansen and Tony Cascarino. So we ran him through his paces...
So how will Maxim's favourite teams fare this weekend, Tim? We've got a Cambridge fan, a Portsmouth fan, and a West Ham fan...
Cambridge Vs Luton: This is going to be a physical goal-less draw. [It finished 4-3 to Luton in an absolute thriller. VERY WRONG!]
Portsmouth vs Everton: I'm sad to say that Pompey aren't looking good for this season, and Everton are coming off the back of a couple of big wins. Definite away win. [It finished 1-0 to Everton. CORRECT!]
Man City vs West Ham: I'm a big fan of Zola but Man City are on fire. It will be a really high-scoring match in the home team's favour. They could hit three or four goals. [It was 3-1 to Man City. SPOT ON!]
Cheers Tim. Obviously we'll know the outcome of those when we run this interview. Let's hope you're completely wrong on all three scores. So with your prediction skills, do you play fantasy football?
No, I don’t want to support players from other teams. The Sun got me doing one last year, but I refused to pick any Man U or Arsenal players, so I presume my team did really crap. I couldn’t be bothered to check!
So you can’t recommend any potential football fantasy bargains? Basically, players who were crap last season, but who might score a few this year. Like Dave Kitson…
Well the one to go for would be Joe Cole now that he’s back. His enthusiasm will get him loads of points. So you guys play fantasy football, then?
We’ve got an office league.
And you’re a West Ham fan. Do you have any Spurs players?
Not this year, but my cousin supports West Ham and he’s gutted that he signed Robbie Keane. He was very drunk.
Robbie Keane? You wouldn’t want Robbie Keane in your team anyway. You want to put Crouchy in. He’s such a great player.
But he’s always on the bench…
Yeah, but he scored twice in the Carling Cup, and he won’t be on the bench for long. I think Harry will end up mostly playing Defoe and Crouch up front, and Keane will drop back a lot. [TWO DAYS LATER, ROBBIE KEANE SCORES FOUR GOALS vs BURNLEY. Oops, Mr Lovejoy...]
Anyway, you’re a Chelsea fan. Are you gutted about the transfer ban, even though you know it will probably get overturned?
I’m not gutted at all, I like the fact we’ve got a settled team. After we won the league for second time, we sold a few players and brought a few in and weren’t the same. I know our squad is aging but I think they’ve still got a couple of seasons. As you say, I think it’ll get overturned, anyway. There’ll be a ban at Xmas, but that will be it.
Man United are very jammy as well aren’t they. Look at that Manchester derby…
One of the broadsheets proved Man U get more injury time than everyone. It’s just the way that once you’re champions, you get the rub of the green. But Man U are a great team and they play to the final whistle. It wasn’t like the goals weren’t going to come. They were absolutely all over Man City in that second half, so it wasn’t a major shock.
What’s the best bit of Man U jamminess ever, the thing that really made you go ‘oh for f**k’s sake, you jammy gits!’?
When they won the champions league, it was like ‘ohhh no’ they’re gonna win the treble’ and they did. I was with my Man U friends watching it on TV and was happy for them…
‘Happy for them’? You weren’t really, surely, admit it…
Yeah, I was! It was fun, running around the pub, cheering. But then the realisation hit me in the face that I was gonna have their treble-winning victories thrown in my face for seasons to come. And God, was it true...
So Man U fans are the most boastful?
Yeah, well they’ve got the most to boast about haven’t they? Back in the ‘80s it was Liverpool.
So what do you think is happening up at Notts County now that’s Sol Campbell has walked out. Do you think that’s a sign that their ambitions won’t take off as speedily as had been mooted?
The whole world could see that [signing Sol] wasn’t going to work. It won’t work with Sven, either. Why does he want to work there when he’s been managing at the highest level? No disrespect to Notts County but they’re a League Two team. The only reason Sven might stay there is because of the female to male ratio. But I’ll be shocked if he lasts the season.
So Notts County won’t be signing any more big players this year?
I doubt it. They’d have to offer huuuuuuuuuuge cash. Even people say footballers are mercenaries, they still want to play at the highest level.
Where will Sol end up?
He’ll be back in the Prem for sure. Apparently he still thinks he can get a place in the World Cup squad. I think he’ll end up at Spurs simply because it’s the most shocking thing that could ever happen!
What do you think of this home-grown players rule that’s coming in for next season?
I can’t see the point of it. Fabregas qualifies as a ‘home grown’ player with that ruling, so it doesn’t make sense. The three best leagues - Italy, Spain and England - have the largest influx of foreigners, and Italy are world champions and Spain are European champions. And England just qualified for 2010 with two games to go and playing the best they have done for a while, so their argument is bullshit. All it’s going to do is encourage all the big teams to buy the kids coming through at smaller clubs.
We’re currently running a feature on the most hated Premiership players ever. Who’d be your choice?
At Chelsea it was Winston Bogarde, because he took all that money for all those years without playing a game.
No, I mean universally hated, not just by your lot…
I don’t hate any footballer. I’m sorry. I like them all. People always have a go at Robbie Savage, but I know him and he’s a top man and everyone would’ve liked to have him in their team. He runs around a lot and gets stuck in.
So hated players are generally liked by their fellow pros?
Absolutely. As a kid I never used to like Mark Hughes. I used to think he cheated and fouled a lot. Then he came to Chelsea I severely loved him. It’s one of those, isn’t it?
What about Craig Bellamy? He seems to moan a lot.
I’ve only interviewed him once and he seemed like a nice bloke.
You’re going to sit on the fence on this, aren’t you?
Yeah, afraid so!
Which commentator or pundit has the most depressing voice and sends you to sleep?
Er….why are all your questions negative ones?
Okay, who’s got the most exciting voice and sends you into awakeness?
Hahaha. I love them all. I like Martin Tyler as a commentator. But for pundits, I have to say Gus Hiddink and Kevin Keegan were brilliant on Setanta the other day. I was late meeting my friends out because I had to stay in and listen to what Hiddink was saying. He knows the game so well. Hiddink talks about tactics, and Keegan talks about mentality.
They can’t be as good a partnership as Jimmy Hill and Terry Venables. We need half-time arguments...
I did like Jimmy Hill and Venables, so you’ve got a good point. And they should bring back Saint and Greavsie permanently.
Are you actually a good footballer yourself, or are you a complete blagger?
Well, I’m a bit old now, so I’m more of a holding midfielder, picking off 20-yard passes, breaking up play. I’ve no longer got the pace to beat players, but I’ve got the vision. I’m a lot like Beckham.
So why don’t you participate in celebrity matches?
I used to when they were fun years ago, but then they started dragging out all these Hollyoaks actors and reality stars and it all got a bit crap. We used to play at Wembley with Ray Winstone, Damon Albarn and Phil Daniels. Then it all went shit.
Ray Winstone, eh? I bet he was a bit of a leg-breaker…
He wasn’t bad. He was a player coming towards the latter days of his career, but you could tell he played a bit. He was a bit like Jan Molby.
When you did have pace, who you were like?
I was a midfield general, a bit like a cross between Franky Lampard and Stevie G. But I suppose if you were looking for one player who was reminiscent of my game, I suppose you’d be looking at Kaka...
Bollocks...
Actually, I was more of a David Batty. I always won the ball and passed it, and never lost it.
But you chinned your left-backs…
No, I didn’t do that. But I used to get moody. I was such a moody player. It always makes me laugh when they say Rooney’s got to lose his temper. What a load of shit. The worse the mood I was in, the better game I had.
So how did you get moody before a game?
I didn’t. It was when other players tried to tackle me.
Who’s the most stylish fan you’ve ever seen at a game?
I used to go to footy in the 80s when it was more like a fashion show. We dressed up head to toe in trekkies, jewellery, wedge haircuts… Chelsea fans were into Tachinni casuals. Fila were West Ham and Burberry were Arsenal. I wore a lot Armani jumpers as well. I was definitely the best dressed. This bloke once turned up at Chelsea with a full length Burberry raincoat. He said ‘we’d all be wearing these soon’, but it was a bit weird because we were into windcheaters. He was obviously a dodgy geezer who got it off the back of a van.
So the ‘80s was a fashion high-point for football?
Yeah, my dad used to laugh at me for dressing up for going to football. I used to go to all the sports-shops before matches, and look at all the clothes. I loved it.
Who’s the best player you’ve ever seen?
That would be Zinedine Zidane, but the best player I’ve ever played with and witnessed on a pitch is Glenn Hoddle. I think he’s possibly the best player this country’s ever produced. I played in a charity match with him and I was absolutely astonished at how amazing he was. He’d pull the ball out of the air and suddenly be 10 yards away from you, not through pace, but from pure ability. His skill level was phenomenal. He brought the ball down and gave himself so much time and space. What a player. Amazing. Incredible.
Guess how much a pint of beer cost at the 1966 World Cup…
Um…42p?
Nope, 8p.
Oh my God, how fantastic is that!
And guess how much it will be at South Africa 2010…
£5?
Actually, I haven’t got a clue.
‘Tim Lovejoy is an ambassador for The New Football Pools. If you think you know more about football than Tim then log on to www.footballpools.com to take him on at Premier 10, the official pools game of the Premier League, where you can be in with a chance of winning £30,000 by simply predicting home win, draw or away win for this weekend’s Premier League fixtures. What’s even better is you can also currently claim £10 free credit when you sign up.’
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