MAXIM: How are you doing?
BEARDYMAN: I'm good! How are you?
MAXIM: We're cold. We didn't bring jackets.
BEARDYMAN: They are really useful. I once went the whole of winter without one, 'cos I'm a dickhead. I left my jacket in an airport, it was quite expensive and I'd only just bought it, so as a form of self-punishment I just didn't buy another one.
MAXIM: What made you want to start beatboxing?
BEARDYMAN: I've always beatboxed, for as long as I can remember. I put more effort into it after I heard Rahzel, because I suddenly realised that this thing I'd been doing my whole life was something which people were doing and getting credit for it, whereas I'd always done it and gotten shit for it, 'cos it was annoying! Started concentrating on it properly back in 2001, I think a lot of people were inspired by Rahzel to be honest! For me, no one has ever bettered him.
MAXIM: First time we saw you, you were dressed up like a woman for kitchen diaries, then when we dug deeper we found videos of you pretending to be Professor Bernhard Steinerhoff. Explain?
BEARDYMAN: I did the Bernhard Steinerhoff thing ages ago... I think it was 2005? It's a rubbish clip but it's got loads of views. It was at this thing called Pecha Kucha, which is Japanese for chit-chat, and it's this networking event where people give six minute presentations with 40 slides at 40 seconds each. It's mostly for people who are very well respected in their fields of design and architecture, and at the time I wanted to get into design. I managed to get in there because my (at the time) girlfriends' brother was running the event, so it was just for me to try and get a job, which you see in my pitch at the end. Didn't get any offers though!
MAXIM: So apart from cross dressing and pretending to be a German professor, what would you say makes you unique in the world of beatboxing and producing?
BEARDYMAN: I dunno. Everyone's unique aren't they? If you are unique in your area, you won't be for very long. Beatboxing is... so five years ago. It astounds me that people are still impressed by it and wanna go see it, but I guess there aren't that many working beatboxers in the UK yet. I just do things differently!
MAXIM: Well if you look on YouTube, there's a bunch of a people now getting themselves set up with Kaos Pads and doing their own looped beatboxing. How did the Kaos pads thing come about anyway?
BEARDYMAN: As soon as they came out, I just knew I had to have one. They had loads of features that I've been waiting for a piece of kit to have for ages, I couldn't believe someone had brought something out like it, and no one has brought anything out like it since. Even though it's not designed to be used the way I use it, it's still amazing. Korg (makers of Kaos Pad) actually saw my video, and then redesigned one of their products so it had beatboxing as one of it's marketing points. I'm also designing my own piece of software to assist me, been working with a couple of programmers... probably will release it as a commercial product at some point but only once I perfect and get to work with it first!
MAXIM: How was the tour?
BEARDYMAN: A total, awesome onslaught. I've really tried on this tour to push the kind of seated-comedy from stand up (which I used to do!) into my live show, but it doesn't really work to standing, dancing audiences. I'm sure there's something in that. Been trying to interact more and more, but it's really tough. If people want to go and see a show, they sit down and see a show. If they wanna stand up and see a show, they just wanna get drunk and fuck each other.
MAXIM: Tell us something about yourself that you think might surprise us.
BEARDYMAN: I haven't got any nipples. Truth.
MAXIM: ....Ok. Do you have any bad habits?
BEARDYMAN: No I don't. Oh wait, actually, I shit on the floors of public toilets. If you ever see a shit on the floor of a public toilet, it was probably me. I think it's time people know!
MAXIM: Did you have fun making the album?
BEARDYMAN: Yeah! I had fun making it, but the end bit is always annoying. Mixing it down and making miniscule changes to sound levels... nothing is ever perfect. Noticing things that nobody else would ever give a fuck about. Bit nervous about the release, the album's quite mental and I'm sure it won't be to everyones' taste. There's not even any beatboxing on it, bar a tiny bit at the beginning!
MAXIM: What is essential for you to bring the beardy experience when you're creating the tunes you do, live or otherwise?
BEARDYMAN: Before every gig, I must drink the blood of a virgin. We keep a bunch with us in the trailer.
MAXIM: We did wonder what was in there. Sign us out with some words of wisdom...
BEARDYMAN: Don't pick at it, you'll make it worse. Unless you're a guitarist... or a protestor.
Beardyman's debut album 'I Done A Album' will be released on the 21st of March and is available to pre-order now! See Beardyman's official site for details!
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