Josh Homme

Bish Bash Josh

We hear you’re a fan of British comedy. Can you quote some?

I can quote some Fawlty Towers. I can also do some Little Britain and I can do some Blackadder. I’m not going to, but I can.

Go on. Say, ‘I’m the only gay in the village.’

[Deadpan] I am the only gay in the village.

Say, ‘I’m a lady.’

[Does brilliant impression] I’m a lady! My fanny!

So, what else do you like about us Brits?

I like the pageantry. There’s far more class here. Even your dumb asses are classier than ours.

Do you know what a chav is?

A chav? [Maxim explains] I see. We have derps and rednecks and white trash that are equally unimpressive. A ‘derp’ is someone from the South. You know, a cousin fucker.

Your latest album is called Era Vulgaris. Isn’t that the girl out of Desperate Housewives?

I never thought of that, but thanks for putting that in my brain. It’s Latin and it actually means ‘Teri Hatcher’.

The front cover features two cartoon lightbulbs. What are you trying to say here?

What do you think?

Well, one is dressed as a pirate and one is smoking. So the one smoking is probably saying, ‘You didn’t tell me it was fancy dress.’

Ha ha! So you think it’s like a costume ball?

For lightbulbs.    

Well, that sort of symbolises the idea. You’re kind of like a psychic but without the knowledge of beforehand events.

The video to ‘Sick, Sick, Sick’ features a lady gorging herself. The video to ‘3’s & 7’s’ is all naked ladies and guns. Are you working your way through the seven deadly sins?

Baby, I’ve already worked my way through them. I’m just trying to remember what happened the third time around. I think women are the more powerful of the sexes, that’s why we’ve always tried to oppress them. Now I just want to impress them. Not depress them.

What is your key to impressing but not depressing the ladies?

Smile. Say nice things.

Doesn’t, ‘I’m in a band’ help?

No, I’ve never used that. If you’re the type of guy who can only get laid because you’re in a band, you’ve got big problems.

But you’re in a great band! You could impress loads of ladies!

Part of the reason it’s a good band is that I don’t do shit like that. That’s what we’d say ‘Jaggles’ would do. ‘Jaggles’ is American slang for jack-offs. They hang out with the derps.

You once released an album called Songs For The Deaf. Do you recommend your music to deaf people?

We’ve had deaf people at our shows. They hold balloons to feel the vibrations. If you see someone blowing up a balloon at one of our concerts you should always offer to lend a hand.

You collect motorcycles. Can you pull a wheelie?

I don’t collect them but I have one. Wheelies are for people who want to die early. My bike isn’t that type of bike anyway. I have a 70  Vondel  Triumph, which looks like an old War War 2 bike.

You play guitar, bass, piano and drums. How about strapping cymbals to your knees and forming a one-man band?

Oh, you mean that lame thing where you play by yourself. No, but thanks for the suggestion.

You’re Norwegian, or at least, your surname is. What’s the weather like in Norway?

It’s cold with a 40 per cent  chance of cold. Norway is beautiful. It’s the best place ever.

Can we ask you about some of your nicknames? Baby duck?

Baby duck is because there’s always stuff sticking out the back of my hair because I have a ducktail. A ducktail is like a mullet that got put into a drier.

Carlo Von Sexron?

We got guitars one time that had the name Ron Sexsmith on them, so we all got versions of his name like Sex Ronsmith and Smith Sexron. And I was Carlo Von Sexron.

The Ginger Elvis?

I certainly don’t use that one. [Affecting English accent while getting up to leave] Laters!