Cinderella

Cinderella wanted to go to the ball, but of course, her evil stepsisters, and her evil stepmother wouldn't let her, and off they went to the ball.
Cinderella, stayed home and cried, and cried, and cried. Just then her Fairy Godmother appeared and said, "All right Cinderella, you can go to the ball ok?"
"Oh thank you Fairy Godmother!" said Cinderella.
"But two things first." Godmother said.
"What are these things?" said Cinderella.
"Well, you must wear a diaphragm." said Godmother.
"And what is the other thing?" said Cinderella.

"If you aren't home by 2: 00 in the morning, your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin!"
"OK Godmother." said Cinderella, and off she went to the ball.

Cinderella didn't come home until 5: 00 in the morning. But, when she did, she came home looking happy, and "very" satisfied.
"Cinderella, where have you been? You were supposed to be home 3 hours ago!!"
"Well Godmother, I met a wonderful man who took care of everything!"
"Well, who is this man?" the Godmother demanded. "I want to know!"
"I'm not sure." said Cinderella. "Peter, Peter, something or other?"