The Marital Bed

A woman feared that her husband was losing interest in her sexually. She went out and bought some very sexy lingerie, complete with crotchless panties. She posed herself in bed and awaited his arrival.
When he came into the bedroom, she threw the sheets back, spread her legs, and said, "Welcome home honey. Do you want some of this?"
With a horrified look on his face, the husband replied, "Hell No! Look what it did to your underwear!"