Things We Learnt

From watching Drive on DVD

People who don’t say much are more dangerous than people who like “a good natter”. (The exception to the rule is mobsters, especially Jewish ones.)

Americans drive better cars than we do. Much better, beefier, manlier, tarmac-pounding, Ozone-smashing automobiles.

Fat cars and West Coast Americana and mad shiny silver jackets JUST GO TOGETHER. A quiet, homicidal dude driving a souped-up BMW 7 series around the car parks of Huddersfield is NOT the same.

Likewise, even in Soho a neon Scorpion probably wouldn’t work, but it does ANYWHERE in L.A. London lacks the required dusky twilight.

Ron Perlman looks like a slightly deformed, perma-aggressive bigger brother to Ted Danson. When he talks about east coast gangsters pinching his cheeks it embroils his character with self-hate and jealousy. A jealous man is a dangerous man.

We want a full head and shoulders Hollywood stuntman face mould to wear on Halloween.

Sod CGI, done correctly, car chases are STILL excellent entertainment.

“Come in, come in, keep your shoes on, good to see you again!” This is us ushering in the return of the classic, dramatic moody-as-fuck score into Hollywood blockbusters. We haven’t seen/heard one lend as much character to a film for a long time. Plays as big a part as Gosling and Mulligan and Perlman and the rest.

Put a pair of leather driving gloves on very slowly in front of a woman and she will be more open to suggestion than when your hands were naked.

Okay, we admit, we like Ryan Gosling. It’s hard not to want to BE his permafrost-cool nameless hero.