We left London at half four for the 6 o'clock ferry from Dover to Dunkerque, spent the night in Amsterdam and then drove on to Hamburg for the fight and then from Hamburg all the way back to London on the Sunday. A 1000-mile round trip, 3 Maxim lads, 1 Audi Estate. And some other bits and bobs. Tally ho, chaps!
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- People in Antwerp are the worst drivers in Europe.
- The Grasshopper and the Bulldog are still the best places for the uneducated and unrepentant in Amsterdam. It's basically 20-quid for three pints in the Grasshopper, so it ain't cheap. We let our waiter keep the change from three rounds though and suddenly a free round appeared. It was sweet.
- In Hotel Casa 400 in Amsterdam they charge City Tax. (It's 5% of the bill and applicable to anyone, including Dutch people, who doesn't reside in Amsterdam itself.) Still grates a bit when ya see it on the bill though.
- Satnavs which you can programe actual hotels into are a godsend.
- It's not ideal to take lots of narcotics 5 minutes before bedtime.
- It's a doddle getting in an out of Amsterdam and Hamburg compared to any major English city.
- It rains a lot in Hamburg.
- German ghoulash is awesome.
- There is no race in Europe less cool than the Germans. Even Albanians are more stylish. We visited the Reeperbahn, which we were told was better than 'Dam. It wasn't. It was hosting a really naff festivall called "Schlagermove 2011" where everyone had crap pink wigs on and terrible disco shirts that were supposed to be hippy-esque and were prancing about to shit German folk music. We have never seen so many truly c*nted, truly uncool people in one place EVER.
- Get off the Reeperbahn into St Pauli and it gets better.
- Have a few Jagermesiters and it gets better still.
- Three chaps with a bit of nous can blag their way anywhere in the Imtech Arena.
- The hotdogs and crispy onions in the Imtech Arena are top-notch.
- It rains a lot in Hamburg.
- You get lots of funny looks if you do [Maxim Legal Team injerction] on the subway.
- Boxers with broken toes fall over a lot.
- German boxing fans don't sing very much.
- Neither do English ones when they realise their man is being TOTALLY OUTGUNNED.
- Travelling Englishmen still like the "10 German Bombers" song.
- "He's not even German, not even Geeerrrrman!" can last a good few rounds.
- Germans aren't organised and teutonically efficient when it comes to shepherding English men around their cities. In the pouring rain we walked 2 miles to the train station and then waited two and a half hours for the train when we got there. (The shop by the station was still open though. And it did sell beer. Which was comforting.)
- German dudes getting ariated at police sound really funny.
- Most of the Germans we met were good types. Even the bloke we were winding up pre-fight in the Hotel Kreuzer didn't give us too much grief in the morning.
- All roads in Germany lead to Auschfart. We said it approximately 411 times on the way from Amsterdam to Hamburg. (A Canadian punk band called NoMeansNo actually released an album in 2006 called "All Roads Lead To Auschfart".)
- Three young gentlemen with differing degrees of wind do not a fragrant return journey make.
- Just when you think you're really HAVING IT on the Autobahn some dude in an Audi/BMW/Merc will be flashing you out of his way from behind.
- There's more bastard traffic lights in London than anywhere else in Europe.
- It rains a lot in Hamburg.
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Big up to the Hotel Kreuzer in West Hamburg btw. Really good value. And really German. Tops.
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