26 things boxers would never say before a fight

1) "I didn't think I was, but I am actually really scared of him"

2) "Hasn't he got lovely legs?"

3) "This one's for my steroid dealer"

4) "Win or lose, I'll still be the same person at the end, and my grilfriend really loves me. As does my mummy."

5) "This one's for everyone who reads the Observer's Saturday magazine"

6) "I'll probably have a few Stellas first to be fair and then just windmill the fuck in"

7) "I have no idea what to wear for it"

8) "But he's sooooooo much bigger than me..."

9) "I bet his penis is enormous"

10) "I wonder if he'd mind not going for the face?"

11) "I'm doing this for the Tory party!"

12) "I've always wanted his hands to touch my face"

13) "No wonder Charles Dickens was the most popular writer of the Victorian era. Bleak House is a magnificent achievement""

14) "First one to cry it is"

15) "I might come into the ring in one of them pink limos"

16) "I might skip into the ring to the Scissor Sisters"

17) "Are we allowed to wear make-up and leggings?"

18) "I'll give him a fisting in the ring and then we'll go and have a fight. HahahahahahaHAAAAAA!"

19) "This one's for Natural Yoghurt and all the chaps down at Bikram Yoga"

20) "I'm really looking forward ot it as it goes, but I wish Speedo weren't sponsoring me"

21) "I hope Spandau Ballet are there. I love the bassist"

22) "How do you do them uppercut things again?"

23) "I'm gonna rearrange his face so bad, if his wife's into Feng Shui she'll probably pass out"

24) "This one's for Reader's Digest!"

25) "His ears look well tasty"

26) "I hope i don't get a hard-on [giggles]"