WHAT IS IT? Super-hyped, super-epic first-person sci-fi blaster, that's had every Xbox nerdling wetting their frilly-edged Y-fronts in anticipation.

WHAT WILL I BE DOING? Donning a massive helmet, flying to earth, and destroying some monstrous opposition with an arsenal of one-handed shotguns and plasma cannons.

WHAT ELSE HAS IT GOT? Eerie storyline, sweeping settings, four-man co-op, and a Live section ruined by legions of annoying pre-pubescent online gamers!

SO? Microsoft's flagbearer shooter continues to bear its flag. And it's a big f*****g flag!