Oral-B Triumph 5000

Do the white thing

	It WILL sort your teeth out. It WILL make them whiter

..which is why everyone man on the island should get himselfg and electric toothbursh. And let us tell you Children of the Oscillation, the proudly monikered Oral-B Triumph 5000 doth take some beating.

Why we hear you ask between reotations, well it's got a wireless interactive display which basically means it's really ace at monitoring your teeth while you clean them, and thus getting them dead cleaner and whiter come the end.

All manner of sensors and microchips in the handle relay info to the monitor which tells you in real time where you're brushing unevenly or missing teeth out, brushing too hard, or brushed for long enough. It's even got different mouth 'exercises' for you to perform using different heads for different effects.

All sound a bit silly and over-the-top? Doesn't matter. It WILL sort your teeth out. It WILL make them whiter. And eventually it WILL develop a mind of its own, Skynet-style, shag your girlfriend better than you ever have done, develop a bunch of relentless cyborgs with metal exo-skeltons and bid to take over the planet.

Oral-B Triumph 5000 is available nationwide from Boots, Amazon and selected department stores, priced around £160.00. We reckon in the long-term it's well worth it. For additional info that is more conventional than ours visit www.oralb.com