WHAT'S IT ABOUT? A martial arts expert flies to Oz in search of gangsters who've swiped his elephants. They're headed by a transexual armed with whips and 7ft-tall bodyguards!

ANY GOOD? The actual film is pretty awful but the action scenes are all gobsmackingly amazing. These make up about 80% of the running time, so do your own maths.

QUOTE FOR THE POSTER: 'Far more entertaining than playground punchy-ups!'

REASON TO WATCH: The big boss showdown when all the bodyguards emerge - the biggest nutters ever to grace a big screen, and pure video game-style carnage!